HaPpi 2mthz AnNiVeRsArY,hOnEy!!.. Finalli,we r 2mthz 2geder.Im soo glad dat we've made it dis far 2geder.Sure we had our ups n dwns bt Im glad we overcame it n we r stil 2geder 2dae..

Yest noon,met ma darlin @ sims ard 2:30pm.I was half an hr late,actualli.Heh!So,calld him dwn wen I reachd.Kakak was ova @ Chinatwn wif Abg..

Ma honey n I lepak-d under e blk wyl waitin 4 e rain 2 subside.Den we went up 2 his plc 4 awyl cx he nided 2 take cigarette.Came dwn n Xavier was dhere.So we hung out wif him wyl waitin 4 ma honey's sis 2 come dwn.She brought dwn e adorable Hambali wif her.So e 4 of us,2geder wif Hambali went 2 e coffeeshop 2 grab som drinkz n fud.Wel,it was all on Xavier.Thx aite,bro!Heh!..

Afta eatin n jokin ard,we all went up 2 ma honey's plc.Dint wanna go in @ firz.Felt veri shy ah.Hahz!Den afta much persuasion frm ma honey's sis n Xavier,I finalli went into e hse.We all watchd som malay movie.Den ma honey's mum came hm frm fetchin Ridzuan frm skl.Hung out @ ma honey's plc til nite.I tink it was ard 11:10pm dat I left his plc 4 hm cx Kakak was oreadi otw bak hm frm Yishun.Had 2 mit her @ ubi so dat we'd go hm 2geder.Hahz!..

So ma honey accompanied mi 2 e busstop n I tuk e firz 51 bak hm.Kizd ma honey gdbye n dat was e end of yet anoder dae..

O ya!Ma honey showd mi a pic of his beloved X,Ikin.K ah.Nt bad ah eh.Bt itz juz dat I feel a lil insecure.I mean,I noe dat he stil lovez her.I juz wonder where I stand in his heart.So many qnz hv been goin thru ma mind.Wat if I cnt b S gd,if nt betta den his X?Wil he eva get ova her?Wil he eva love mi more den her?Wat if 1 dae she comez bak,wil he accept her bak?Im AFRAID.I dunno wat 2 sae or do.Onli he has e ans 2 all ma qnz.Wel,even tho he givz mi e ans,is he truthful?I dunno.Im confused rite nw.Im juz scared...
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 4:28:00 AM

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L-O-V-E.. Wat exactli is e meanin 2 dat word aniwae?In dis world,in dis tym,dherez juz no rm 4 love no more.Wen u tink ur in love,tink again.Cx by e tym u finalli c tingz clearli,u'll realise dat u've juz fallen outta love.Itz juz a fantasy,a fantasy u cnt help fallin into.If u fall outta love,was it love dat u felt in e firz plc?I wish I knew e ans 2 dat.Itz smthg so beautiful @ firz bt wen it turnz 360 degreez ard,itz tym 2 call 4 SOS..

Itz hard 2 believe dat I love Ijal.Cx rite nw Im thinkin,do I realli love him at all?I shuda known betta den 2 take him bak cx 4 mi,a patch up orwaez doesnt work out no matter hw hard u try.Itz nt e same S b4.E feelin aint dhere no more.If I sae I stil love him,hu m I foolin here?Im onli foolin maself..

Yes!I said dat I'd 4giv him 4 treatin mi lyk a dirtbag dat dae.Bt cn I eva 4get?Nah!Don tink so.Wat happend dat dae is stil so vivid in ma mind.E hurt dat he put mi thru.E pain I felt dat dae is stil bein felt 2dae.Im wif dis heck care attitude.A feelin I shudnt b feelin.Dherez so many tingz unsaid between us.N e feelin is no longer real n alive.I guez e flame has died n we r juz tryin 2 hard 2 ignite it again.Bt wat cn u do if dherez no oxygen left 2 kip e flame burnin?Itz juz tym 4 us 2 sit n watch e flame die veri slowli.It comez dwn 2 e fact of,huz gonna sae it firz.Im certain dat neither of us is gonna sae dat taboo word.Mayb we r juz gonna sit n wait.Let tym do itz job..

I've gt nuttin 2 sae nw.I've xpected dis.I noe dat ma rltnshps nv last longer den a mth or so.Im sik of bein in dis situation.I dunno wat 2 feel.Breakin up has been a norm 4 mi.Yeah it hurtz wen e person u love juz walkz awae frm u.Bt u gotta move on wif or witout him.Mayb u juz gotta pik up where u left of b4 u met him.Itz either u go bak 2 ur lyf laz tym or start afresh..

Itz gonna b difficult 2 4get him juz lidat.Onli tym cn heal all woundz.Dherez no point forcin urself 2 4get him cx itz onli gonna b even more painful.Bt den again,doez tym realli heal all woundz?N do all memoriez realli turn 2 dust?Itz hard thinkin dat hez gone 4 gd.Bt cn u do anitin abt it?Dherez no point in tellin him nt 2 go,no point in holdin him bak onli 2 feel e hurt all ova again.Izit realli worth it den 2 giv e rltnshp a 2nd chance?..

Seriousli,a patch up shudnt happpen @ all.If u realli wanna break up,let it b e firz n e last.Cx a patch up onli spells 4 worse situationz in e future..

*i'll walk on n nv luk bak.i'll let e tearz fall 4 u.i'll let ma heart bleed juz 4 u.itz e pain im readi 2 go thru 2 4get u...*
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 2:24:00 PM

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Sori 4 missin bloggin dhese paz few daez.been bz wif alotta stuffs.So here goes..

18 March:
Went dwn 2 twn.Watchd "Date Movie" @ Cineleisure.E movie was funni.Realli2 funni.Bt it doesnt make sense.2 b frank,it was kinda silly 2 a certain extent.Certain partz of e movie wasnt practical @ all.Yeah!I had a gd laf wyl watchin e movie.Bt afta a wyl,it seemd nonsense.Nt e type of movie,I'd watch.Bt since ma fren pikd dat movie,we all juz had 2 go wif e flow..

So afta dat,I bumpd into ma honey,his sis n her boi.He yelld ma name n askd 4 mi 2 join dem.So I said 'ok' n 'separated' frm ma frenz.Walkd ard Orhard wif dem.Kakak was ova @ Haig Rd wif Hafiz.So e 4 of us chilld outsyd Paragon.Dunno where 2 go.In e end,we headed ova 2 HMV cx ma honey wanted 2 buy som Bob Marley cd.Afta all dat is done,we walkd all e wae 2 Orchard Tower.Dropd by e 7-11 dhere.Den rested @ a nearby busstop.By den it was 10:30pm..

Ma honey n I went 2 e oder busstop 2 take bus no.7 bak 2 sims drive wyl adk n her boi went off 2 where dey parkd e byk.So e 2 couples finalli split up..

Arrived @ sims drive ard 11;15pm cx we had 2 walk all e wae in.Mizd e stupid busstop.Hahz!So ma honey n I went 2 chil near e bbq pit.Chatted n joked ard.Checkd e tym n it was 11:50pm.Saw a police patrol car enter e estate so I decided 2 walk awae,afraid of bein screend cx bof of us r still under 17 n we arent supposed 2 hang out afta 11pm,accordin 2 e 'new' law.Blah3!..

Ma honey wanted 2 go hm 2 change.So we went up.I waited @ e staircase 4 him wyl he went in 2 change.Met his mum 4 awyl n kissd her hand n left.By den it was 12:45am n dhere was no more buses.Ma honey gav mi som cash 4 taxi fare.We went lor 21 2 get smthg den walkd all e wae bak 2 blk 54 2 grab a cab.Kizd ma honey gdbye n finalli Im on ma wae hm..

Reachd ubi ard 1:30am.Met Kakak n Abg @ e playground.We were supposed 2 ton dat nite.Went hm 2 change n came out again.Chilld @ e playground,bein childish n msgin ma honey @ e same tym.Ard 5:50am,we went 2 e busstop 2 send Abg up e firz bus.Den Kakak n I went hm 2 take a gd long slp..

19 March:
Dint hv ani planz of mittin ma honey dat dae.Went dwn 2 kllg 2 mit Abg.Lepak @ e sk8wave 4 awyl den walkd all e wae 2 towner rd 2 jeff's plc 2 get Abg's board.Den Kakak n I accompanied Abg sk8.We were sittin dwn @ e ramp wyl he was sk8in.Ma honey msgd,sayin dat adk's boi wanted mi 2 come ova n lepak wif dem @ sims.Tol him dat I'll b reachin dhere ard 9+ cx I had 2 wait 4 Abg 2 finish sk8in..

I fell aslp @ e ramp.Yah.Wat an odd plc 2 fall aslp on rite?Hahz!Bt it was realli comfortable n coolin dhere.Woke up wen I heard ma fone beepin wif a msg.It was frm ma honey.He was askin mi if he cud go drink wif adk's boi.I was furious.Of cx I wun allow him!Isnt dat pretti obvious oreadi?Y muz he stil ask 4 ma permission.Stupid rite?Haiz!Changed ma mind of comin ova 2 sims.Dint feel lyk goin dhere cx I was stil soo mad @ him.Drinkin!Hmph!I hate ma boiz drinkin!Im sure he noez dat by nw!..

Kakak,Abg n I walkd all e wae 2 sims 2 get a bus hm.Tot of seein ma honey 4 awyl.Calld his hp bt adk said dat he was aslp oreadi.Haiz!Nvm den.So e 3 of us went 2 e busstop 2 take e bus hm.Met Farehan dhere.Hez eva soo cute n cool.He saw mi n smyld.Aww..Hw cute!Heh!He wwent up 2 bus so I waved him gdbye..

Tuk e bus hm ard 11:15pm.By den,I was dead tired.Fell aslp S soon S I reachd hm...
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 2:32:00 AM

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Went 2 sims drive yest noon 2 c Ijal.Said he wanted 2 settle tingz.Haiz!Hw worse cud it get?Reachd dhere ard 3:40pm.Calld him dwn.N S xpected,dhere was cold treatment all e wae.Dint tok much.Dint even luk @ each oder's face.Bof of us were stil veri heated up..

Den suddenli he walkd off AGAIN.Tried stoppin him bt he juz kept on walkin.Difficult 4 mi 2 catch up wif him.Den he walkd straight 2 e lift n clozd e door in ma face!Yelld his name bt he plainly ignored mi.Fine!2 cn plae e same game..

Gt a cal frm Mdnoh,sayin dat he wanted 2 c mi.Gd tymin,ma dear boi!So I headed off 2 e busstop 2 take 40 2 Bdok int 2 c Mdnoh.Dint feel lyk goin hm.Was 2 stressd up.I felt soo disappointed in Ijal.Hw did he hv e heart 2 do dat 2 mi?Hw dare he!!..

So I walkd off,nt lukin bak even once.Hung ma head low all e wae.I was havin mixd feelingz abt evryting.Wyl otw outta e estate,I received a msg frm Ijal.He was apologisin abt wat he did n he tol mi nt 2 bother him animore.Veri wel den!Dint feel lyk replyin his msg aniwae.2 angri @ him.So I juz walkd on..

Wyl @ e busstop waitin 4 bus no.40,anoder msg came in.Itz frm Ijal again.It read,"hate mi huh?"Ignored it again,plannin 2 epli him once I gt up e bus.Nt long,40 came n I was on ma wae 2 Bdok.Ijal calld askin mi where I was.Blah3!Dint feel lyk tokin so I juz allowd him 2 get his msg acroz 2 mi n hung up on him witout sayin gdbye.Replied his msg.Den he went on sayin dat he stil loves mi n all bt itz juz dat we cnt b 2geder animore.Wtf!Hw lame cn dis b?I don even noe y he wanz a break up..

Tearz juz came rollin dwn ma cheekz.Dunno whether ani1 in e bus noticed mi cryin.Bt wth.Msgd Ijal all e wae wyl in e bus 2 Bdok..

Arrived @ Bdok int ard 5pm.Made ma wae 2 blk 425 2 mit Mdnoh.Stil feelin veri dwn n upset.Saw Mdnoh dhere.He was super frenly 2wardz mi.Wel,I c hez gt new piercingz.Cool2!Hahz!..

We chilld @ e playground wif 3 of his frenz.Was gd seein him again afta all dis tym.We've known each oder 4 quite som tym oreadi.Finalli I feel a lil comfy ard him.We were jokin ard n whackin each oder.Hez funni ah.Hahz!..

Had 2 rush hm cx Kakak wanted mi 2 buy her hair bleach.Tuk bus 25 hm n e bloody shop was clozd.Haiyo!Waste ma energy onli.Hahz!Bumpd into ma fren n tokd 2 him 4 awyl n reachd hm an hr later.Muahaha!..

Ijal's askin 4 a patch up rite nw.Ma heartz stil achin,thinkin abt wat he did juz nw.I was soo disappointed in him.I dunno wat 2 do - 2 take him bak or juz let us b frenz.Hmm..Im stil confused rite nw...
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 2:11:00 AM

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Went dwn 2 c ma honey yest.He was lazi 2 go 2 work so he calld mi dwn 2 c him..

Had alotta fun irritatin each oder,lafin our arses off @ each oder.Nv tot dat e dae wud end up in a nightmare 4 mi.Hmm..

Suddenli,he tuk ma hp n saw a msg frm Mdnoh,askin mi 4 a patch up.Of cx I said NO 2 Mdnoh cx I oreadi hv a boi.I don wanna b plain tymer,wud i?Bsydz,I love ma honey lotz.I don wanna do anitin 2 hurt him or 2 jeopardise or rltnshp in ani wae..

He flared up wen he saw e msg.Mdnoh was callin mi 'syg' in e SMS.Bt I swear dat I realli2 dint take Mdnoh bak.Appararentli,ma honey doesnt believe mi.4 e firz tym,I saw him gt angri @ mi.Dis tym itz ugly.Tried 2 tok 2 him abt it bt he juz doesnt wanna listen.I noe he doesnt trust mi animore,nt even a single bit.Haiz!..

He suddenli said "cpt ah.alek."Darn!He walkd off all e wae in fronta mi.I cnt sae anitin.He juz doesnt wanna listen.He forced mi up e bus n dhere wasnt a kiz gdbye frm him.Hmm..Felt soo disappointed in him.Tearz were rollin dwn ma cheekz.Dint bother 2 luk bak @ him.Dint wanna let him c mi cryin.POS!!..

Nightmare again 4 mi.Felt lyk S if im drownin.Dunno wat 2 do.He tol mi 2 go bak 2 Mdnoh cx he nidz mi.Wait a min!Mdnoh nv nided mi.Bsydz,we broke up a long2 tym ago.Cx of dat simple msg,he wanna break up?Wat happend 2 all e promises he made 2 mi earlier on?Dat he'd nv leave mi despite e probz dat we'll be goin thru.Den y is he so quick 2 quit suddenli??..

I dunno wat 2 believe in animore.Askd him whether he realli2 wanna let mi go,he dint epli.Hmm..I'll giv him som tym 2 tink abt it.Weneva I feel dat e tym n mood is rite,I'll ring him up again.Nt nw ah.Bof of us r stil burnin wif fury.Ma phoenix is stil flyin high in e sky n burnin wif large flamez rite nw.If I were 2 msg him tml or wat,itz gonna make tingz worse..

Itz hard bt if he realli2 wanna walk awae,I wun stop him.Dherez no wae I cn,aniwae.Nevertheless,I'll try veri hard 2 change his mind.Til den,Im juz gonna chil n let tym handle evryting.Perhapz ova tym,he'll change his mind n cool dwn...
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 3:02:00 AM

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Been outta e hse lateli.Seen ma honey 4 5daez in a row.Hahz!Been doin Kakak's video shootin n ma honey was wif us all e wae.Dint do much lateli.Juz walkin ard n passin tym.Met ma honey again yest @ sims.Kakak dint come along cx Wati was comin ova 2 our plc.So I left hm ard 2:15pm n arrived @ sims ard 2:45pm.Ma honey came dwn n we chilld out @ blk 56,S usual.Hahz!It was juz e 2 of us bt we realli had fun,jokin ard n irritatin each oder.Muahaha!..

Saw Abg walkin.Calld out 2 him bt he dint realise it was mi.Apologized 4 nt replyin his msg e dae b4 yest.Askd him where he was headin 2.Said dat he was goin 2 sk8 @ kllg.Tol him 2 tkcr n datz it.Wel,somhw,Abg seemd so cold n distant 2wardz mi nowadaez.Dunno y,tho.Hmm...

Wel,been in contact wif Mdnoh again.Dint mean 2 msg him bt wen I switchd on ma old fone,dhere was a msg frm som1 sayin,"Hi.ngah uat pe?".Apparently,I dint hv his num.Thinkin dat he was 1 of ma frenz,I askd him hu he was n apologized cx I lost his num.Den he went lyk,"Ni Matnor bedok twn la.tk ingat pe syg?"Hmm..Since wen Mdnoh changed his num?N since wen Mdnoh's name was spelld S Matnor?Smthg juz dint seem rite abt dis person.E style of msgin is totalli diff frm e Mdnoh dat I noe..

Den I tuk e initiative 2 msg e real Mdnoh n askd him if he had a new num or smthg.2 ma surprise,he said he dint even change his num.Hmm..Den hu cud dat guy b?Den I askd e fake Matnor a qn dat onli e real Mdnoh cud ans.I askd him where we firz met n wen.I noe e real Mdnoh noez e ans 2 dat.Obviousli,dis poser went lyk,"U step tk tau je syg.I pn dh tk ingat ah."Hahz!Stop pretendin dat u don rememba wen u actualli dunno la!Wahlau eh!!..

Aniwae,Mdnoh n I were msgin each oder.Den he tol mi dat lateli,hez been dreamin of mi.Hmm..Hahz!Hez soo cute!So funni sia he!Im happi dat Mdnoh n I stil cn remain S frenz even tho we've broken up a long2 tym ago.Among all ma oder Xs,Mdnoh is e onli 1 huz stil in contact wif mi afta ormoz a yr we've broken up.Cool huh??..

Aniwae,yest I calld e fake Matnor's hp usin ma oder num.Itz a guy!I askd him hu he was n he askd mi bak hu I was.I was quiet 4 awyl,thinkin of som name 2 sae.Den suddenli he said in Malay,"Is dat Hani?Hani eh?"B4 I cud sae anitin,he hung up on mi.Obviousli,dis person recognises ma voice wel.Meanz itz som1 I noe.Hmm..Bt hu cud it b?None of ma frenz r S sick S dat.Haiz!In e firz plc,y muz he use Mdnoh's name 2 msg mi?Y Mdnoh?Meanz dat dis person noez dat I used 2 b wif Mdnoh n he noez Mdnoh's frm which skl.Hmm..Seemz lyk he noez bof of us realli wel.His voice sounded lyk Amy's.Bt cnt b wat.Amy's nt S immature S dat sia!He'll nv plae ard,pretendin hez som1 elz.Hmm..Til nw,I stil wonder hu dat person is...
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 3:52:00 PM

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Hmm..Haven been bloggin 4 a few daez nw.Cnt seem 2 find e tym 2 go online ah.Hahz!Been bz lateli,helpin Kakak wif her video shootin.So we've been round practicalli round e whole of S'pore.Hahz!Nw Im exaggeratin.Heh!..

Cnt rememba in detail wat we did 4 e paz few daez.All I cn rememba is,we went 2 Youthpark 2 watch e sk8rz dhere n waitin 4 Abg @ e same tym,went dwn 2 kllg 2 video e sk8rz dhere,went bak 2 sims 2 mit ma honey n so on n so forth..

Wel yest,Kakak n I were supposed 2 mit Abg 4 sk8 vid.He was supposed 2 cal ard 1+ bt he dint.Instead,he calld ard 4:30pm n tol mi dat he was otw 2 sims 2 get his board n dat we were 2 mit him @ kllg.Wen I askd him wat tym he wanted us 2 c him,he said 4:30pm.I was lyk wat e hell?Isnt it 4:30pm nw??Thinkin dat ma clock was an hr fast,I askd Abg wat tym it was den.He said it was 3:30pm.I was stil puzzled.Ok den.Since he said mit an hr later,Kakak n I gt drezd.Wel,somhw Abg's clock was 1 hr late.Hahahz!..

Tuk bus no.61 2 kllg.Arrived @ Mike's shop n met Hambali cx Kakak wanted 2 borrow his cam.Saw Ayid.Itz been a long tym since I laz saw him.I tink it was b4 ma Os even started.Hahz!Dint realise dat it was soo long ago!Hahz!Wel,he dint change alot bt I heard dat he has a gerl nw.Congratz,pal!At least he smiled n nodded his head @ mi.Heh!..

Wel aniwae,Abg wasnt dhere.Where e hell is he??Shldnt he b @ kllg oreadi?Hmm..Kakak n I went 2 get chocolate waffle @ e nearby confectionary n sat under 1 of e 'pondoks' 2 indulge.Hahz!Den wen went 2 7-11 2 get a can of redbull.Stil,Abg was nowhere ard.Itz gettin dark.Seemz lyk he 'bubble' us AGAIN.Wonderd where he cud hv been.Dherez no point hangin ard.Kakak wanted 2 head ova 2 Bedok 2 film e arcade n som peepz hangin ard.So we tuk bus no.26 n headed ova 2 Bedok..

Went ard Bedok.Den som so-nt-ma-type mats were lyk callin ma name.I tot it was som1 I knew so I turnd ard.Bt it turnd out 2 b som boiz I don even noe.I 4gt dat I was wearin ma claz jersey.It bore ma name in bold @ e bak.Hahz!So datz where dey gt ma name frm.Hmm..Askd 4 ma num bt 2 bad.I wasnt intrested.Hahz!Sori boiz!I oreadi hv a boi n I don wanna get 2 noe u ppl.Hahz!So Kakak n I buggd our earz wif our mp3s n headed straight 4 e foto shop.Turnd ard n e stooges were practicalli followin us all e wae.Don u guyz get e msg dat neither of us r intrested in ani of u?Hw desperate cn u guyz b?Haiz!So we continued on,mindin our own business.Tuk a rest outsyd e jewellery shop.Tot we lost dem.Den suddenli dey appeard rite in fronta us.Haiz!Nt again!Ignored dem n pretended 2 b bz wif ma hp.Hahz!Wel,I was bz actualli,msgin ma honey.Hahz!Dey stood dhere,lukin @ us.Dint wan dem 2 approach us so Kakak n I gt up n walkd awae.Hahz!Mayb dey FINALLI gt e msg n dint '4llow' us animore..

Headed 2 e int.Dint noe where 2 go.Juz walkd where our legz brought us.Hahz!Was walkin slowli cx dhere wasnt a reason 2 b rushin.Den suddenli Kakak slappd ma shoulder.I was oreadi irritated cx she gav mi a shock.Den suddenli som1 knockd ma left shoulder.I was abt 2 flare up cx I was f***in annoyd!Turnd ard 2 glare n 2 pass som sarcastic remarkz 2 e 'culprit' n suddenli realised dat it was Penyu.Yeah!Itz Penyu.He was wif his present gerl.Haiz!..

Dey were headin ova 2 his hse.So I chatted wif him wyl waitin 4 his bus 2 come.Kakak stood quite a distance awae frm us.Penyu n I joked ard juz lyk old tymz.Askd him hw tingz were goin 4 him n e rez of e DK gang.Seemz lyk evrytingz fyn 4 dem.He askd mi hw Kakak n I was,whether we r doin fyn n he oso askd mi abt Ijal n I.Hahz!..

Tokd abt e paz n all e fun we used 2 hv 2geder.Realli gt e bof of us lafin our arses off.His gerl was obviously lost,nt knowin wat e hell we were tokin abt.Honestli,I dint lyk his gerl @ all.I noe I don usualli click wif e minahs out dhere bt @ leaz,cnt she try 2 smyl @ mi cx Im her boi's fren?I don xpect her 2 shake ma hand our smthg.Bt she dint hafta kip on starin @ mi rite?Ma gosh!She shld b thankful dat shez Penyu's gerl.If she was juz a stranger,I wud hv walkd up 2 her n askd her wat e hell is her prob n mayb paz som realli sarcastic n insultin remarkz rite in her face!!If shez a pretty gerl,nvm ah!Shez nt even near e description of 'sweet' sia!.Haiz!She doesnt even hv e body!Aiyo!Ni case prasaan cantik ah ni.Muahaha!Den y e hell is she so proud 4?She has nuttin 2 b proud of!!No offence ah bt I dunno wat Penyu sees in her sia!!..

Den dheir bus came so Penyu shook ma hand n tol mi 2 tkcr.I tol him,"No more tattoos plz,Penyu."Den dey walkd off.Kakak n I headed 2 e end of e int.Dheir bus pazd us n I waved 2 him.He waved bak.His gerl was lyk starin @ mi.Eee!If onli I cn whack her oreadi-ugly face!!..

Den S we were walkin ard e int,we bumpd into Penyu's dad.Kakak dint notice him.He was walkin straight in fronta mi.So I smyld @ him n kizd his hand.Dat was e firz tym he eva smyld @ mi sia!Hahz!..

Den ma honey tol us 2 come dwn 2 sims 2 chil wif him.So we tuk bus no.40 2 sims frm e int.Arrived @ sims ard 10:30pm.Calld him dwn n waited under his blk.He came dwn n we chilld under blk 56 again.Chilled 4 awyl n den we spotted a police car enterin.We quickly walkd off,afraid of bein screend.Den we chilld @ e playground.Ard 12:10am,Kakak n I had 2 make a move.So ma honey walkd us 2 e busstop.Tuk bus no.51 hm.Kizd ma honey gdbye n gdnite n boarded e bus...
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 12:54:00 PM

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Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and you changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now,I see,what love means.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.

In my heart,in my head,it's so clear now,
Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you've rescued me somw how-.
I'm alive,I'm in love you complete me,
And I've never been here before.
Now I see,what love means.

When I think of what I have,and this chance I nearly lost,
I can't help but break down,and cry.
Ohh yeah,break down and cry.

Now I see,what love means...

-Unbelievable by Craig David
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 1:24:00 PM

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Was feelin bored yest noon wif no planz of where 2 go.Abg dint cal 4 sk8in so Kakak n I were stuck @ hm yet again wif nuttin 2 do.We went 2 e kitchen 2 cook up smthg 4 ourselves.Nw,dat was a lil fun.Heh!..

Came bak into e rm.Dunno y bt I suddenli went 2 check ma fone 4 ani msgs or calz.Yeah!2 msgs.Wonder hu it was frm.Checkd ma inbox,bof e msgs were frm ma honey!!I was a lil excited.Den I checkd e miz calz list n dhere was a miz cal frm ma honey so i calld him bak.He askd mi where was I n wat I calld him 4.I askd 2 mit him l8r in e noon @ sims ard 6pm.He said ok.I was sooo happi!Finalli Im gonna c him again n honpefulli,we cn work tingz out..

So I left hm ard 5:30pm.Kakak dint wanna come along.So I was off 2 sims drive on ma own.All e wae in e bus,ma heart was thumpin so fast!I was nervous!I dunno y I felt dat wae,tho.Hahz!..

Reachd sims drive ard 6:10pm.Waited 4 him under e blk,@ e lift lobby.Abt 10mins l8r,he came dwn wif his baby bro,Hambali.Dat lil boi is adorable,I muz sae.Somhw,he remindz mi alot of maself wen I was a toddler.Hahz!Soo adventurous n orwaez runnin ard on his own.Heh!..

Den his mum came dwn so ma honey n I,2geder wif Samad went 2 relek2 @ e bbq pit.Dey were tokin abt smthg.Dint feel lyk listenin 2 wat dey were tokin abt so I juz buggd ma earz wif ma mp3.Den Samad went bak hm 4 a lil wyl 2 bathe.Ma honey n I had all e tym 2 tok tingz thru.Somhw,I dint realli tel him wat was e prob.I tink he guezd it 4 himself.Ova tym,tingz between us was bak 2 laz tym.I was soo happi.We joked ard n I juz felt gd havin him nxt 2 mi..

Ard 11:30pm,he sent mi 2 e busstop 2 take a bus hm.Cudnt go hm dat late cx I was alone,witout Kakak.All e wae,neither of us mentioned abt wat happend e paz few daez.I mizd e firz bus cx it was a single deck.I wanted a double deck bus.Hahz!Aniwae,nt long afta,ma bus came so he juz kissd mi gdbye n he walkd hm wyl I boarded e bus..

He msgd mi wen he gt hm.Onli den did he apologise abt wat happend e paz few daez.He said dat he realli2 cudnt c mi e dae b4 yest cx he was bz n had smthg impt 2 attend 2.N dat he dint ans ma calz n msgs cx he wasnt hm n dat e fone was on silent mode n so,his mum dint notice dat it was ringin..

I apologised 2 4 yellin @ him thru SMS n sayin som harsh wordz 2 him.I mean,I dint mean 2 get angri @ him.Itz juz dat I was soo worried abt him dat I became xtremeli angri @ him.He somhw understood n dat he was e 1 2 b blamed cx if he dint do wat he did,I wudnt get mad @ him n start yellin.He promizd nt 2 repeat his mistake again..

Im juz sooo glad dat evrytingz ok.E paz few daez hv been a livin nightmare 4 mi.Im glad dat evrytingz bak 2 hw itz supposed 2 b.I hope dat Ijal n I cn continue bein 2geder 4 quite somtym...
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 1:44:00 PM

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*Ijal n Hani:the happiness dat we used 2 hv*





Been feelin miserable e paz 72hrs.Yest,waited 4 Ijal 2 msg mi wen he gt bak frm work.Fell aslp n 4gt 2 transfer SIM card.Woke up @ 9pm n panickd,thinkin dat he myt hv been tryin 2 reach mi.Quickly changed SIM card n 2 ma disappointment,nt a single msg frm him..

Pluckd up enuf courage 2 ring him up.Gav him 6 calz frm ma fone n nt a single 1 of dem was answerd nor rejected.He juz let it ring on n on.Borrowd Mama's hp 2 cal him n it wasnt answerd either.Haiz!Where e hell is he?Sent him 2 msgs bt neither was replied.Ma heartz realli broken.Dunno wat 2 do.I felt lost,lyk S if Im drownin..

Mama said mayb dat hez nt hm.So I tuk comfort in dat.Woke up dis morn n dhere was a msg frm Ayie,nt ma boi.Sooo disappointin.Tot he shld b off 2dae.Tot of seein him 2 solve dis once n 4 all.I askd Mama 2 cal his hp cx I was afraid of callin him.Dunno y,tho.Mama said dat he switchd off his hp.N wen he does dat,hez @ work.Hmm..So Mama cald Uncle Roy's hp instead,askin 4 Ijal.Uncle Roy said dat Ijal's @ work nw n dat he cnt come 2 e fone cx hez bz.Hmm..Mayb he is bz,mayb he juz wanna avoid ma cal.Either waez,I'll nv noe.Mama tol Uncle Roy 2 tel Ijal 2 cal mi bak bt I doubt dat he wil.I mean,isnt it pretty obvious dat HEZ AVOIDIN MI?..

I cnt reach him!I dunno hw elz 2 get 2 him.Feel lyk juz goin dwn 2 sims n cal him wen Im dhere n ask him 2 come dwn.Bt wat if Im dhere oreadi n he doesnt pik up ma cal?Den I'd b waitin in vain,feelin stupid.Bt hw in e world M I supposed 2 get 2 him?Msgd Afad,Ijal's bez fren bt he dint epli ani of ma msgs.Haiz!Gosh!I realli nid som1 2 help mi get him!!..

Ma brainz messd up!Dunno wat I shld do 2 solve dis prob.2 add 2 e oreadi rotten situation,ma hp is wif him.I lent him ma oder hp so dat he cud get in contact wif mi.Bt nw,hw cn I get ma hp bak wen I cnt even get in contact wif him?!Wel,1 ting's 4 sure,I wan ma hp bak b4 Mama makez a huge fuss abt it.Haiz!..

Dhere muz b smthg or som1 dat made him turn awae frm mi.Bt I don tink dat som1 came between us.I don tink he'd do sucha ting.Mayb itz smthg.Bt wat??I cnt seem 2 b able 2 pin-point 2 smthg.Was it smthg I said dat made him turn awae,dat made him walk out n leave mi cold?I totalli hv no idea!E laz tym we met was on e dae dat Kakak,Abg n I tawnd.Bt I cnt tink of anitin dat I did or said dat nite 2 make him angri @ mi.Yeah e dae started of kinda shaky 4 Ijal n I bt we resolved e differences.We were ok afta dat,bak 2 normal.Mayb closer den eva..

I even apologised 4 sayin all e tingz I said wen I was angri @ him.He tol mi 2 4get abt it n pretend dat it nv happend.So I assumed evrytingz fyn!Bt hw cn it turn dis sour between us?Im confused!!I dunno wat 2 do,I dunno wat 2 sae.Im juz in dis alone!No1 cn help mi nw.Itz either I kip drownin in dis or surface up n do smthg abt it.Bt I totalli hv no idea wat 2 do!!...
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 2:03:00 PM

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Sooo much has happend within e laz few daez.Feelingz I tot I had r suddenli fadin awae.E person I tot I loved is suddenli walkin awae.I guez I was in fantasy world wen I was wif him.Nw reality shook mi hard n Im finally awake.Im seein tingz clearly nw.Itz juz puppy love.Datz all dat ever was between us.Hw cn he walk awae nw dat I nid him more den eva??Isnt a boifren supposed 2 b dhere 4 u n support u in tymz of difficulty?Bt where is he?..

Evryting elz seemz 2 b wae more important 2 him den I m.I noe dat hez gt plenty of probz in his head rite nw.Bt I realli wanna help!I wanna b dhere 4 him!Bt hw M I 2 do dat wen hez pushin mi awae incesantly?I cnt get thru 2 him no more.Itz amazin hw a few hrs cn realli turn our rltnshp 360 degreez ard.I don rememba gettin into a fight wif him or doin or sayin smthg dat made him angri..

Mayb he juz doesnt love mi animore.Maybe he nv did,aniwae.I noe dat I loved him alot once.Bt if u were 2 ask mi nw whether I stil love him,I dunno wat 2 sae.I realli don hv e ans 2 dat animore.I dunno watz rong wif mi.Hw cn ma feelingz fade juz in an instant?Datz soo unlike mi..

I tot dat he'd b e 1 2 change mi n dat we cn work 2geder 2 create e rite rltnshp.Nw all ma drmz,ma hopez went dwn e drain 2geder wif e rltnshp dat I tot I built so wel.Smthg went rong,I noe bt I juz cnt seem 2 find wat it was dat wreckd e rltnshp.Izit som1 dat came between us or izit smthg dat made him fade into e distance??..

Wateva e ans may be,I noe 4 sure dat he aint hangin ard much longer.If we survive e whole of e nxt few daez 2geder,I tink Im considerd lucki.Haiz!Dherez stil sooo many tingz 2 b workd out between us n if we realli wan 2 b 2geder,alotta patience is nided cx solvin our probz n gluin bak e rltnshp isnt an easi task.Mayb we'll nt make it thru,mayb we wil.Hw I wish dat it wil b e latter bt somhw,smthg's tellin mi dat it wil b e former..

Ma faith in us is realli shakin rite nw.We r standin on super shaky groundz.Dunno if we'll make it thru.Even if we do,I don tink our rltnshp wil b e same S wat it used 2 b.E cloz bond we shared is destroyd.Itz pretty obvious nw.Nevertheless,I'll try 2 remain strong 4 e sake of our rltnshp,4 him,4 us.Bt dhere aint no guarantees.Im prepared 2 face e dae wen e word BREAK myt juz come out frm either of our mouths..

I don even noe y Im serious wif him.Cx no matter hu Im wif,b e guy gd or bad,ma rltnshps nv laz long.E longest mayb 2mths.Datz all.Bt usualli e rltnshps nv survive longer den a mth.I shuda seen dis comin.I shuda known betta den 2 put ma 100% into dis rltnshp.Somhw,I've broken ma own rule n nw I hafta face e music...
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 2:24:00 PM

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posted by your fashion icon ;
at 5:39:00 PM

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Haven been out 4 3daez in a row nw.Dunno y bt I don feel lyk goin out..

Dherez soo many tingz Ijal said 2 mi yest thru SMS dat realli2 hurt mi.He suddenli said,"B,wat if I wil leave u 1 dae?".Nw..Wat do u make out frm dat?Frm ma opinion hez lyk sayin dat he WIL leave mi 1dae.Yeah I noe dat nuttin lasts 4eva n dat gd tingz orwaez come 2 an end somhw.I wun deny e fact dat our rltnshp myt nt work out somwae or anoder.I noe dat 1dae,I'd hafta face e dae dat Ijal myt walk out on mi.Bt itz a risk Im willin 2 take..

I noe i hafta b open 2 possibilities.Bt y did he hafta sae such tingz?Doesnt he noe dat hez hurtin mi soo much?Itz lyk S if hez havin 2nd totz in e rltnshp.We've gone 2 far 2 turn bak nw.Im afraid thinkin dat he myt leave n I'd b facin anoder heartbreak again.Bt hey!I love him alot n Im willin 2 work doubly hard on our rltnshp.Bt if we stil don work out in e end,I'd b happi enuf 2 noe dat I've tried ma bez 4 us.Cnt he do e same?..

He den went on 2 sae dat all gerlz r e same,juz dat dey hv diff attitudez.Hez comparin mi 2 his Xs!Sayin dat gerlz r full of swt tok.No offence ah!Bt arent guyz e onez hu r full of swt tok?Gerlz usualli don hv e tym 2 swt tok.We get straight 2 e point n we r honest.He has known mi long enuf 2 noe ma character.Hw cn he sae dat Im e same S all his Xs?!Hey!I don busted ppl lyk hw dey busted u k?Im soo disappointed 2 hear him sae dat.I've been his gerlfren 4 more den a mth nw n we've been frenz since I was stil wif Diddy.Imagine hw long dat was!N nw hez tellin mi dat he doesnt noe mi wel enuf?Don crap ard here,boi!..

Den he said dat hez been hopin til nw dat nuttin comez between us cx he doesnt wanna lose mi n dat Im his onli 1.Hez soo contradictin!Den if he doesnt wanna lose mi,hw come hez nt puttin in alotta effort 2 make our rltnshp work out?I don undastan.Im tryin ma bez here 2 b a gd gerlfren 4 him,som1 whom he cn confide in n cn depend on 4 juz abt anitin.Bt hez juz nt havin enuf faith in mi!Hez nt lettin mi in!I noe hez afraid 2 admit dat he lovez mi cx he noez dat hu eva hez wif,e rltnshp wun last long.Hez stereo-typin here!Cnt he gimme e benefit of e doubt n stop comparin mi 2 his Xs?..

He dint even sae dat he loves mi,lyk he usualli did @ e end of e msg.Nw hez gt mi crackin.I feel super insecure rite nw.Im suddenli afraid 2 love him whole-heartedly lyk I used 2 cx somhw,I cn sense dat hez gonna leave mi SOON.I hafta bak off a lil so dat wen he finalli does walk awae,I wun feel so hurt.I nv imagined dat our rltnshp wud b on shaky groundz so soon.I dunno.Itz all up 2 him nw...
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 2:57:00 PM

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Awoken by Charm's cal dis morn.Tol mi dat she dint get e course she wanted.Tol mi 2 go check ma postin resultz.Guez wat I gt?Ma 5th choice!Damn e asses!MEDIA STUDIES N MANAGEMENT @ NYP.Nt e course dat I wanted.Dint get ani of ma tourism courses.Super pissd off!Started yellin n cursin earli in e morn.Found out dat many of ma frenz dint get dheir firz choice 2.Haiz!Watz happenin here?..

Tired of gettin angri,I went bak 2 slp.Woke up again wen Mama was goin off 2 work n went bak 2 slp again.Felt so lazi.Dint feel lyk wakin up bt forced maself 2 cx I tot we were supposed 2 go dwn 2 kllg 2 film dem sk8in again.APPARENTLY,dhere were som changes of plans which I wasnt informd of til afta I tied ma hair.*rollz eyez*..

Kakak was on e fone,chattin happily 2 som1 on e oder lyn.I assumed dat it was Abg cx if nt,Kakak wudnt b soo happi n entertaind..

Den I heard Kakak sayin "bt monay ijal off,u noe... Haha... Watz rong between e 2 of u?".Frm dhere I cn tel dat Abg said smthg abt Ijal.Hey nt dat Im angri or wat la.Ppl hv dheir own opinionz of each oder rite?Bt e prob is,I've been hearin 2 many negative stuffs abt Ijal frm Abg.I kinda don appreciate it..

Abg,if Ijal wasnt a gd boi 4 mi,u wudnt hv given him ma num cx u promizd mi long tym ago dat u'd find mi a gd guy.Den wen u were stil workin wif him,u encouraged mi 2 kip in contact wif Ijal wen u knew dat I was stil wif Diddy @ dat tym.Nw dat Im wif Ijal,ur tellin mi all e stuffs abt him,hw much u don lyk bein ard him,blah3..

Im tryin ma bez here 2 work tingz out between Ijal n I.I'd veri much appreciate it if u juz kip mum abt evryting n juz let mi b wif Ijal.It hurtz mi soo much 2 hear u sae dhose stuffs cx if u havent noticed,Im e 1 huz affected here.Nw e 4 of us cnt hang out 2geder cx u apparently cnt get along wif him.Itz difficult 4 mi.I don wanna hafta chooz between either of u.It seemz dat u dislyk hu eva Im wif.Y?I don get it.U used 2 hate Diddy soo much,pesterin mi 2 break up wif him.Plz don do it again dis tym..

Hw M I supposed 2 set asyd tym 4 u n den 4 Ijal?Im soo stressd up rite nw.Yall xpect mi 2 b dhere 4 yall ALL e tym.N datz exactli y yall hate mi havin a boi rite?Cx den,I cnt b wif yall evrytym.Don tel mi cx of dis,I cnt hv a boi?Gosh!Dis is insane!I dunno wat elz 2 do.Bt 1 tingz 4 sure,Im nt gonna giv up on ma rltnshp wif Ijal juz cx of wat u tink abt him.I wanna make it work out between us n even if we do break up 1 dae,I don wan it 2 b cx of u...
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 3:15:00 PM

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Woke up ard 2+pm.Kakak had oreadi left 4 skl in e morn.Sent Mama 2 e door den I went straight 2 bathe.Stayd on e comp,editin ma frenster n stuffs.Den Kakak gt bak nt long afta dat.Had ma lunch n den suddenli Abg Hafiz msgd.He tol us 2 come dwn 2 Changi 2 fetch him den accompani him go sk8in cx Kakak wanted 2 shoot a vid of e Kllg Sk8rz 4 her Grad Project..

So I gt drezd n we left hm ard 5:30pm.Tuk bus no.59 all e wae 2 Changi Village.Met Abg dhere den we tuk bus no.2 all e wae 2 Aljunied.Alighted n walkd all e wae 2 Sims cx Abg had 2 go take his sk8board frm his fren's plc.E journey 2 Aljunied was a rather long 1 n ma bladder was darn full!I had 2 visit e toilet urgentli!Hahz!So cx of mi,all e 3 of us had 2 stop by dis veri old coffeeshop.Ma gosh!E toilet was disgustin bt I had no choice..

So afta dat,we walkd 2 Sims.Waited @ e busstop wyl Abg went 2 his fren's plc.Tuk bus no.64 all e wae 2 kllg.Itz been mths since Kakak n I stepd foot into dat plc.Evrytingz stil e same.Nt many changes except 4 a lil upgradin here n dhere..

Went staright 2 Mike's Shop 2 shoot Abg n e rez of e kllg crew sk8in.Was supposed 2 mit ma honey ard 8:45pm @ Sims bt I tol him dat I was gonna b a lil late cx I was stil @ kllg filmin dem.He seemd pissd off @ mi n all he said was "Suke ati u arh".Haiz!Hey!@ leaz I did tel u beforehand dat I was gonna b late wat.Watz e biggy nw?Y u pissd off 4 aniwae?I calld his hp bt his mum answerd ma cal n said dat he went dwnstairz.Hmm..Dat realli gt mi crackin.Bt Kakak tol mi nt 2 tink 2 much so I juz dismizd e tot..

Was supposed 2 mit him 2 lend him ma 2nd hp cx his sis wanted 2 borrow his hp 4 a few daez n he wun b able 2 contact mi.Den suddenli he msgd sayin dat he doesnt wanna borrow ma hp.I gt totalli fed-up n borrowd Kakak's fone 2 cal him.He dint even sae "Hello".He dint even sound lyk S if he wanted 2 tok 2 mi.He realli gt mi pissd off dhere.Tol him dat I was makin a move frm kllg 2 c him..

Den wen on ma wae dhere,oreadi in e bus,he msgd sayin dat I dint hafta come dwn 2 c him.Ma blood rushd up 2 ma brain.He doesnt xpect mi 2 turn bak rite?!Piece of shit!So I juz continued on wif e journey.Calld him wen I've reachd e lift lobby.He came dwn.Stood in fronta mi n walkd all e wae in fronta mi,nt sayin anitin.So I occupied maself wif ma hp.Thank God Kakak calld so I had compani 4 a few mins..

Hung up on Kakak.Turnd 2 luk @ him,sittin nxt 2 mi.Askd him watz e matter bt he dint answer.So I gt e msg dat he dint wanna tok.Minded ma own business n turnd awae,njoyin e wind..

Nt long afta,e silence between us seemd 2 b killin mi.Stood up in fronta him,grabbd his chin n askd him,"Do u wanna tok or don u?If u don feel lyk tokin,u cn go bak up 2 ur plc n I cn make ma wae bak 2 kllg.Quick!Don waste ma tym here.Buang current aku je trn umpe ko kalo ko tknk bobal ngan aku."Stil,he kept quiet.Man!Was I pissd!He was realli testin ma patience sia!So I said,"If u realli get mi pissd off 2nite,Im juz gonna walk off,leavin u here n u cn drm off eva seein or hearin frm mi again."In oder wordz,I was askin 4 a break up.I was shockd @ maself 4 sayin such tingz.I dint mean it,seriousli.Itz juz in ma nature 2 sae tingz which I myt regret wen Im angri @ dat person.He suddenli lukd up @ mi,wide-eyed.I knew dat he was shockd hearin dhose wordz comin out frm ma mouf..

Bt ma pride n ego was ova-powerin mi.Den I said,"Chooz between dis 2 optionz.Change ur god damn attitude RITE NW n evryting wil work out fyn between us or stae e wae u r nw n lose mi."Yeap2!Anoder smthg I said dat I regretted sayin.Gosh Hani!Watz e matter wif u!Felt lyk bangin ma head on e wall sia!Bof were raisin dheir voices @ each oder.Our voices pierced thru e silent of e nite.Apologies 2 e residentz dhere..

Afta much argument,evryting was settled.I coold dwn n he was able 2 make mi stae.So we went 2 chil under blk 56.So glad dat evrytingz ova!It was lyk a livin nightmare 4 mi.Itz ma firz tym havin sucha huge argument wif him..

Waited 4 Kakak n Abg 2 arrive.Dey were stil @ kllg wen I left.Mi n ma honey under e blk wyl Kakak n Abg were sittin @ e bbq pit.Den ma honey n I went 2 join dem.Dint feel lyk goin hm so Kakak calld Mama 2 tel her dat we were gonna spend e nite out.She agreed so we continued 2 chil..

Ard 2:45am,ma honey wanted 2 go up n slp cx e nxt dae he was workin.Walkd him 2 e lift n gav him his Gdnite cum Gdbye kiss n watchd him walk into e lift..

Went 2 join Kakak n Abg.Den e 3 of us went 2 adventure @ Boon Keng.Seriousli,e plc was freaky in e wee hours of e mornin.Walkd all e wae 2 kllg n had som drinks @ som 24-hr coffeeshop dhere.Den ard 5:05am,we made a move n walkd all e wae bak 2 Sims.We had alotta fun,crackin jokez n gettin fascinated by snakes.Seriousli,in e 16yrs of ma lyf,yest was e firz tym dat I eva saw snakes face 2 face!Hahz!..

Walkd 2 e busstop @ geyalng lor 21A n tuk bus no.2 hm.Kakak n I alighted @ Eunos MRT wyl Abg continued on wif his trip 2 Changi..

Had a real long bt fun dae out... *winkz*
posted by your fashion icon ;
at 1:47:00 AM

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Ma bloggie is abT ma lyf,ma feelingZ n ma world.By readin Thru ma daily rantZ,u myT even geT 2 noe e Type of person I m.If u don lyK waT i sae or hv smThg againsT iT,Kindly juz clicK on e exiT buTTon on e Top righT hand of ur screen aiteZ!!

AbT -BaBy MisTeeQ-

*simple n undasTandin Kinda babe *swT n cheerful *happi-go-lucKi *happily aTTachd 2 her dearesT HuBbY

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