Memoirs of a Geisha...

WaT Do I Do 2 Make U Love Mi?

2007-01-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

Itz 2007 oreadi!Hw fast tym fliez huh?2006 was a great yr 4 mi,full of bof gd n bad memoriez.Bt it seemz dat 2007 isnt gonna b ani betta.A few minz into 2007,I oreadi fought wif B.Wat a bad wae 2 start a new yr,I noe.Bt it dint stop dhere.We've had many other squabblez as daez passd by..

Once,we quarrelled abt his ex's pic.I don mind him kippin his ex's pic actualli cx all dhose r juz 4 memoriez ryt?I maself do kip pics of ma exes.In fact,I hv picz of evry single 1 of dem.Bt e part dat realli tickd mi off was e fact that he cud whack mi juz cx of her pic!I mean,I was juz holdin e pic cx I wanted 2 take a luk @ it.Nv did it croz ma mind 2 throw it awae.Bt he was juz over-reactin ova a small ting.Nyt n dae,he tellz mi dat he lovez mi.Bt hey!Juz luk @ e wae he reacted!Obviousli,he's stil hung up wif her ryt?Gosh!I noe gerlz out dhere wil undastan hw I feel abt dis.Bt I trusted him n had faith in us.So I juz dismissd e issue..

Bt S daez pazd,e pic was stil in his wallet.Wtf!I tol him soo many tymz abt hw I felt abt e whole ting bt he juz tuk it so lightly,takin 4 granted dat no matter wat he does 2 hurt ma feelingz,I'll orwaez b dhere 4 him.He juz nv listens 2 wat I sae.So I decided 2 do e same.I tuk ma pic wif Sajui we tuk a long2 tym ago n put it into ma wallet.E nxt dae wen I met B,I purposeli tol him 2 take out $2 frm ma wallet.He saw e pic,he gt super pissd off wif mi.Hakz!Nw he noez hw I feel huh?He tol mi 2 throw e pic awae.Bt wen I tol him dat I'd onli throw dat pic awae if he threw his pic of his ex firz.He dint wanna do it!He kept on sayin dat he has been kippin dat pic even b4 he was wif his ex.4 hell's sake!I've been kippin ma pic wif Sajui since 2004!Yet I dint complain abt havin 2 throw it awae!Y is he sooo into dat pic 4?Honestli,dis issue has realli caused a huge crack in our rltnshp.It made mi tink twice abt bein wif B n it questioned his love 4 mi..

Cnt he c dat I don nid him 2 sae dat he lovez mi?Ani1 cn sae it bt do dey realli mean it?I nid him 2 prove 2 mi n show mi dat he realli meanz wat he saez!Bt sadli,he has been provin mi oderwise.I dunno hw much more of dis i cn take.Itz realli breakin ma heart weneva I tink abt it.Hu does he realli love nw?Mi or her?I don wan him 2 b wif mi phisically yet his heart is stil wif her 4 all dhese tym dat Im wif him..

Hez done sooo many tingz 2 hurt ma feelingz.Nt once did I feel special 2 him.He'd praise evry single gerl out dhere n it made mi feel lyk S if Im e worse gerl he's eva known n bein wif.Hez nt supposed 2 put mi dwn!S ma bf,hez supposed 2 make mi feel lyk S if Im e onli gerl in dis world dat he sees!I dunno wat elz 2 sae 2 him cx it seemz dat he'll juz nv undastan...

We Made It!!...

2006-12-30T23:17:00.000+08:00

Firzly,I'd lyk 2 sae HaPpI 11mThZ AnNiVeRsArY,ma dearez DarL!Im so thankful dat we've made it dis far.I nv anticipated dat our rltnshp wud laz dis long.Bt wateva it is,I nv regret bein wif u,nt even 4 a sec dat i tot twice abt us.I realli2 love u alot,ma dear..

In a few hrs' tym wil b Hari Raya Haji.It wil b e firz Hari Raya Haji witout Papa ard.Datz soo sad.Hez awae in Mecca nw doin his Haj.I realli2 mish him alot especialli wen I heard e takbir juz nw.Haiz!Wonderin wen he'd b bak.I juz hope dat he'll b bak soon..

2007 is juz ard e corner.Soon,b4 we know it,we hafta sae gdbye 2 2006.Haiz!I orwaez get soo emotional wen it comez 2 sayin hello 2 a new yr.2006 has brought bof gd n bad tingz 2 ma lyf.Letz start of wif e gd tingz firz yea?Firzly,I met ma HuBbY n Im eva so thankful 4 it.I met new frenz in ma new skl n I love dem soooo much!I started workin dis yr n I met ma dearest fren,Amin.Love him soo much (S a fren)!..

Abt e nt so gd tingz,Papa had 2 leave 4 Saudi Arabia.Bt it wont b 4 long..

I realli hope dat 2007 wil b a greater yr 4 mi,ma whole family n 4 ma B oso...

2006-12-26T02:43:00.000+08:00

WatZ Changed...

2006-12-26T01:20:00.000+08:00

[Gerl]
Hey baby,oh tel plz
Y u wanna plae dhese gamez wif mi
Tot u orwaez wanted 2 b wif mi

[Boi]
U were e firz gerl I wanted too
Bt tingz hv changed between mi n u
Datz y I don noe wat Im gonna do
Lateli,u sae Ive been actin kinda strangeli
Like I don love u no more
U say cal mi
Bt I juz cnt Xplain it so crazee,between mi n u baby
Oh even tho @ firz u meant e world 2 mi
Tym has come 2 spread ma wingz n b set free
So I cud figure out a plc where I belong
2 find ,a wae hm nw dat love's gone

[Gerl]
I'll b singin y don u cal mi no more
It was evry nyt u were callin mi b4
If u had e chance u'd b knockin @ ma door
So tel mi watz changed
Y don u gimme som tym?
Tel mi cx I cnt get u outta ma mind
Ryt up til nw we've been doin juz fyn
So tel mi watz changed

[Boi]
Baby,since we met Ive treat u lyk a lady
Nw I dunno wat 2 do
I tink mayb
Itz juz dat ma wil 4 u has run empty
Wat m I gonna do baby
Even tho @ firz u made mi so happi
Ma love 4 u has changed so put e blame on mi
Under pressure itz too hard 4 mi 2 stae
I feel so guilty wen u page mi evrydae

[Gerl]
Y wun u ans ma page?
It was u hu said tingz were nv gonna change
N it seemz lateli ur actin kinda strange
So tel mi watz changed
Y cnt u even pass by?
Spend som of ur tym even juz sae 'hi'
Ur nt e type of guy hu wud ma a gerl cry
So tel mi watz changed

[Boi]
Gerl I noe
It seemz lyk I don care
Afta all e tingz we used 2 share
Nw I noe it feelz lyk I done u rong
Bt e pain wil heal sooner dat Im gone

[Gerl]
I'll b singin y don u cal mi no more
It was evry nyt u were callin mi b4
If u had e chance u'd b knockin @ ma door
So tel mi watz changed
Y don u gimme somtym
Tel mi cx I cnt get u outta ma mind
Ryt up til nw we've been doin juz fyn
So tel mi watz changed

Y wun u ans ma page?
It was u hu said tingz were nv gonna change
N it seemz lateli ur actin kinda strange
So tel mi watz changed
Y cnt u even pass by?
Spend som of ur tym even juz sae 'hi'
Ur nt e type of guy hu wud make a gerl cry
So tel mi watz changed

[Gerl&Boi]
Gerl I nv meant 2 make u cry
Bt itz so hard 2 find e wordz 2 sae
Tho I nv wanted 2 hurt u
Oh no gerl plz believe mi...

Juz luk @ e lyricz of e song.It realli feelz lyk a song mi n B wud b singin 2geder.I dunno watz changed or wat made tingz change.Izit ma fault dat it went soo bad or was it juz e wae itz supposed 2 b?Did I do smthg rong 2 deserve dis or izit him huz pullin himself awae?Luk @ e wae we r nw.We've drifted 2 far apart.Dunno if we cn find our wae bak.Itz sad juz thinkin abt hw much we've changed ova e paz 10mthz.Juz thinkin abt e old daez made mi smyl.Love was soo strong bak den.Nw itz near zero.Wat wud it take 2 b lyk b4?Datz all i eva wan 4 us..

2 sae dat he lovez mi,im nt dat sure he does.2 sae dat he doesnt love mi,Im sure he does.Wel,@ leaz a lil somwhere deep insyd of him.I dunno wat 2 believe.Y is he orwaez findin faultz wif mi n doin tingz dat I don lyk him doin?Is he purposeli doin dhese 2 make mi hate him n finalli ask 4 break?Does he actualli wan a break bt is waitin 4 mi 2 sae it?Datz y hez purposeli hurtin mi?..

I juz wanna noe 4 sure.I don wanna b kept hangin on e lyn.So dat I cn make a decision n stand firm by it.B n I hv gt a realli serious ting 2 tok abt.We nid 2 sort tingz out.I hope we cn work tingz out @ leaz.If we cnt,den a break up wud b e bez solution 2 evryting.Don get mi rong by thinkin dat imma coward n I juz wanna walk awae.Cx im nt in ani wae lidat.Wen u gtg,u juz gtg...

Wat A Slut!!...

2006-12-20T01:40:00.000+08:00

Rememba dat bitch I've been mentionin in ma previous posts?Shez realli gettin on ma nervez man!Shez actualli turnin e tables on mi nw n sayin dat Im e bad 1 here.Itz all ova her frenster!Gosh!Wtf!She saes dat Im stupid,naive n irritatin.Does she noe exactli hu shez messin ard wif?She juz awakend a slpin tiger!Hakz!Shez gonna get wat she deserves.Im nt gonna kip mum abt dis matter cx she has definitely crossd e line.Sucha small matter,she wanna make it big.Fyn!Since she wanz it dat wae,I shall plae by her game.Bt in end,I'll make sure she loses dis game.I hate bein e loser.2 bad dat 1 of has 2 b e loser n it wil DEFINITELY b her!..

Hw dare she call mi ugli?Lyk EXCUSE MI!Im nt ugly k.Shez e 1 huz ugly.Doesnt her mirror werk @ hm?Gosh!Luk @ e amt of pimples on her god damn face!I tink ma butt lukz a thousand tymz betta den her face ah!Hu is she 2 judge mi?She doesnt even noe mi!Shez a minah tudong yet shez much meaner den all e typical minahz out dhere!Her tudong is juz a facade 2 show hw 'gd' n 'pure' she is.Lyk EWWWWW!!I tink im lyk wae betta n purer den her ler!..

Shez lyk sooo super childish by tellin e whole world hw much she hatez mi.Nt happi wif mi?Y type on frenster?Y nt get ma hp num or type mi a personal msg on frenster n mit up wif mi?Dat wae we cn settle our dispute face 2 face ryt?Sucha coward she is!Of cx ler on frenster she cn sae anitin she wanna sae abt mi.Wait til she comez face 2 face wif mi.Letz c whether she cn even arrange her sentences properli.Mayb she myt nt even sae a single ting..

I make sure I get her on e fone or betta stil,face 2 face.Wanna put her all e wae dwn,where she realli belongz.Gonna teach her lesson.2 bad dat she messd wif e rong person dis tym.Her bad luck ah.Im nt gonna let her off e hook.Im gonna hunt her dwn no matter wat i takez.Im nt gonna rest til she getz wat she deservez..

Hey slut!U betta watch ur bak k.U myt b brave thru e comp.I mean,hu wudnt ryt?Letz c if ur S brave wen u cum face 2 face wif mi.U bloody whore!...

Xpressin e un-Xpressd...

2006-12-17T01:06:00.000+08:00

Nuttin much realli happend e few daez bak datz y I havent been bloggin.Nuttin much 2 sae except dat I met abg again.Gd 2 finalli c him cx itz been mthz dat we havent met each oder.He dint even noe dat I cut ma hair mthz bak.Wen he finalli sees mi again,ma hair has grown bak again.Hakz!Cn imagine hw long he hasnt seen mi sia!Hakz!..

He said dat I've changed alot since e laz tym I met him.Hmm..2 mi,Im stil e same bt Im nt sure ah.Mayb I've changed a lil here n dhere bt no drastic changes made so far.Hakz!..

Btw,Im stil soo fuckd up wif dat Bitch!Shez lyk sooo gettin onto ma nerves!I feel lyk juz smackin her bloody face sia!Step ane nye minah tudong jek.Kalo ati bersih,tkpe.Ni minah tudong nk mengutok org sak!Cam nk maki jek muke die 2!Step ane nye lwr jek!Relek suar ah gerl.Pelan2 kayuh ah lu!Aku agik ketok ko brape tiang ah.Ko nmpk asap jek.Jgn nk step jambu ah kt sini.Tk dpt ah sia!Kalo mmg jambu,tkpe ah.Ni muke cam taik sak!Tong sampah pn agi mulia ah.Ko jgn nk maen2 ngan aku ah eh.U'll soon regret it.I'll make sure of it.Juz get e hell awae frm mi ler!U God damn slut!...

Im Headin DwnTwn!...

2006-12-11T00:26:00.000+08:00

Yest noon,I wenT 2 Escape wif B n Wawan.Had a blast of a tym.Tix were @ $6 each.Gt a locker 2 put all ma stuff in n enterd Escape.B wanted mi 2 try e Inverter wif him bt sadli,yest e Inverter was under maintenence..

We tuk a ride on e Rainbow.It cn hold many ppl @ once n it turnz all e wae round.Up 2 e sky n bak dwn 2 e ground.Freakin scaree,I tel u.Wawan sat wif B n I had 2 sit alone.So sad!I was sooo afraid.Nv tried such tingz in ma entire lyf.Nv dared 2,aniwae.Dis ma firz tym n I had 2 sit alone.Damn!Nvm den.B4 I knew it,we were flung high up into e sky.It was damn freaky!Felt lyk S if ma heart was gonna jump out thru ma throat!All I cud tink abt was ma mum,ma hm n abt gettin dwn.It was lyk e end of e world man,lyk S if ma heart was gonna stop beatin anitym.Finalli,e moment dat I've been hopin 4 came.E ride ended n I cudnt b happier bt 2 get dwn n feel e ground beneath ma feet again..

Den I accompanied Wawan up dis veri childish roller coaster.Hakz!Small bt I had alotta fun.Hekz!Den we accompanied B 2 Q-up @ go-kart station.B was e onli 1 goin 4 it cx I hv no idea hw 2 operate e bloody ting.Hakz!So b4 I made a fool of maself,I'd rather nt go on it.Hekz!

Finalli,we tried dis water ride.I've 4gotten wat itz cald.Hakz!Dis tym B sat alone.I was sittin @ e front of e log n Wawan was bhynd mi.E highest drop was 15m.Quite scaree man!I was damn freakd out!A damn steep slope added 2 ma fear of heightz.Once again,I feltlyk dyin rite on e spot.Hakz!..

Juz nw we went dwntwn again.Bt dis tym 2 Wild Wild Wet (WWW).Juz e 3 of us again.Gt our Funkey card,den went 2 eat @ McD again.Enterd WWW,gt ourselves a locker den went 2 change.Den we went straight into e pool.Dipd into e pool,grabd a float each n off we went!Hekz!Super fun man altho I cudnt swim.Den we went 2 e Tsunami.Stayd dhere 4 quite awyl den we went on e Ular-lah ride.Super fun man!Quite scaree e firz tym bt wen we went on it e 2nd tym,it wasnt S scaree.B wanted 2 try e Slide-Up.I dint wan 2 cx it lukd super scaree esp wen Im afraid of heightz.Bt since he wanted 2 go soo much,I dint wanna disappoint him.Itz onli meant 4 2 ppl so mi n B went up.Wawan waited 4 us dwnstairz..

We were off!Gosh!Ma heart was abt 2 fling out frm ma throat man!It felt lyk S if ma heartz gonna stop beatin ani minute!It was e scariest ride I've been on!B had a shock of his lyf!Even wen I clozd ma eyez,I felt lyk dyin man!Fuyoh!I juz wanted 2 get bak dwn asap!Cudnt take it animore..

By den,it was alreadi 4+pm.We went on a few more roundz round e pool den we headed 4 hm.Gt changed,den we tuk a bus 2 Pasir Ris Int.Had an earli dinner @ Food Point @ White Sand.Den we tuk a train bak 2 Aljunied.I fell aslp in e MRT.Was realli beat man.Damn tired!..

Had a real fun tym wif B on bof daez.Nv been 2 such plcs b4.Was a real nice xperience 4 mi..

Hmm..Juz wan B n I 2 b bak lyk laz tym.No fightin,happi orwaez.We nv yelld @ each oder,orwaez smylin n jokin ard.Nw,e tablez hv turnd.We r no longer dat wae.We quarrel ova e slytest ting n we fight EVRYDAE.Im sick n tired of fightin!I've tokd 2 him abt ma opinion.He 2 shares e same opinion.We promiz dat we'd try 2 change e wae tingz r.We wanna change b4 our 1yr anniversary (dat is,if we eva make it dat far).Nevertheless,I stil love him alot!...

Shoppin Spree!!

2006-12-09T02:24:00.000+08:00

Yest noon I went 2 mit B @ his plc.Waited 4 him 2 drez up n den we headed dwn 2 Peninsula Plaza cx B wanted 2 buy som stuff.Walkd ard dhere.He gt himself a real nice belt wif marijuana leaves printed all over e belt.Lukz cool!Hekz!..

Den we took a slow stroll 2 Raffles City.Wanted 2 find som plc 2 eat cx our stomachs were grumblin.I suggested eatin @ Burger King bt B doesnt wan 2 cx he said he dint wanna eat fastfood.Haiz!So we walkd thru CityLink Mall 2 get 2 Suntec City.Stumbled upon the Polar Puffs kiosk n we bof were cravin 4 e hotdog roll.Been a long tym since we had it.Hakz!Bought 2 of it n indulged!Hakz!..

Reachd Suntec City n we were thirsty.Walkd 2 Carrefour 2 get drinkz den we went up 2 Toys 'R' Us cx I wanted so much 2 luk 4 a carebear.Bt 2 ma disappointment,dey don sell it animore.Nt even 1 of it!Sooo sadded sia!By den it was 3pm.Wanted 2 take e escalator dwn.Pazd by som shop sellin babies n toddlers accessories.B wanted so much 2 buy 4 his younger bro a Power Rangers t-shirt.Bt dis 1 was much2 betta.It was lyk a whole suit!It was soo irresistable.B bought e red suit 4 Hambali n I gt e blu 1 4 his oder bro,Wawan.Each suit costs $22.90.Expensive,I noe bt dey were gorgeous!Had 2 hv it!Hakz!Den we bof tuk a taxi bak 2 B's plc.Hambali was sooo excited 2 c his costume.Tol him 2 try it on bt he wudnt take it out afta which.Hakz!Bt he lukd real adorable in it.Glad he lykd it.Made mi feel so satisfired..

Waited 4 Kakak 2 wake up cx promizd her dat I wud accompani her 2 watch a movie yest.B wanted 2 come along.So I decided dat we went 2 Vivo City since we've nv been dhere.Met Kakak @ Dhoby Ghaut MRT station ard 6.30pm.Headed 2 Vivo..

Damn was Vivo HUGE!I mean realli HUGE!Sooo many shopz n gettin 2 e cinema itself was quite a distance.Hakz!Bought 3 tix 2 Dejavu @ 21:20.Had abt 3hrz 2 kill.Bought slurpeez n went out 2 had ciggyz.Hekz!Went 2 Toys 'R' Us again.Stil nuttin nice.Dropd by Charles & Keith.Kakak gt herself a pair of sandals n I bought a white bag 4 $33.90.B wanted mi 2 buy it soo much.Hakz!Den we walkd 2 Esprit where Kakak bought a maroon sweater 4 $49.90.Enterd Topshop n Forever21.Dint find anitin nice dhere.Walkd ova 2 Adidas.Kakak bought a pink bag 4 $50.I was soo attracted 2 dis light blu adidas sweater.It costs $80.Dint hv e $$ 2 buy it cx I was stretchin ma $$ til pae dae.Kakak bought it 4 mi.Thx alot man,Kakak!Realli appreciate it.Hekz!Afta doin lotsa shoppin,we headed 2 Hall10 4 our movie..

Movie ended ard 23;40.Mizd e laz bus n dint wanna take e bus hm.2 long a ryd ah.Hailed a cab.Dropd B off @ his plc den we headed hm.Had a realli2 fun tym sia!Itz been quite long since e 3 of us hung out 2geder.Had a blast of a tym!..

Realli love ma deareZ B soooo super much!Hope he noez it.Hakz!...

Im BaK!...

2006-12-07T01:38:00.000+08:00

Gosh!I dinT realiZe daT itZ been ages since I updaTed ma sTuff man!hakZ!Sori dearieZ!Been realli bZ ler.JuZ cnT find e Tym 2 siT dwn n updaTe ma bloggie.Bt Im here @ lasT ryT?So waTcha guyZ waiTin 4?Read on!HakZ!..

Hmm..where shld i sTarT ar?kk.. Ma dad is awae @ saudi werKin.He'll b dhere 4 2yrZ bT comin baK evry 6mThZ 2 c us.So e nxT Tym I'll b seein him wil b lyK March 2007.HaiZ!Sad2!Realli2 mish him,u noe!..

Im sTil werKin @ ma currenT plc.ItZ been 2mThZ daT im dhere n dey haven up ma pae yeT!!Wtf!IrriTaTin isnT iT?Hmph!Aniwae,PuTri wil b werKin wif mi.She sTartZ nxT wed!Yeeha!ItZ gonna b fun man havin B's sis werK wif mi.HekZ!Im sooo exciTed!HahakZ!..

B n I r sTil on.We made iT 10mThZ!Wooo!Im sooo happi!DinT anTicipaTe us 2 laZ dis long 2geder.Bt we sTil fighT evrydae man.DhereZ nT a dae we r nice 2 each oder.SoundZ paTheTic,I noe.I TinK so 2.Bt hu careZ!S long S we lasT long,Im fyn wif iT.WatZ impT is ma happiness ryT?We've been Thru sooo much 2geder.Thru e gd n bad TymZ,we sTil remaind sTrong.I hope daT our bond wil nv b broKen despiTe all e probZ daT we myT come across in e fuTure.B,I realli2 love u!I hope daT U'll nv leave mi.Promish mi daT u'll b myn n I'll b urs 4eva..

Enuf abT e mushy2 sTuff oreadi.HakZ!Nw Im gonna scream n shouT!I wanna venT ma anger n feel lyK smashin daT biTch's head!SheZ e 1 hu made mi mad n nw she wanna Tel e whole world abT mi.Her MSN nicK n her frensTer profyl is all abT mi.Wtf!..

Hey gerl!Ur Tellin evry1 n porTrayin e image daT Im e 1 huZ bad here.Bt hello!Ur e 1 hu sTarTed iT k.I don hv a prob wif ma B chaTTin wif u ova MSN.So waT ryT?I oso do chaT wif guyZ ova MSN.Bt ur e 1 huZ planTin seedZ in his brain.U made him ignore mi wyl chaTTin wif u ryT?Hey biTch!HeZ usin ma lapTop 2 chaT wif u!I cn juZ snaTch e lapTop awae n dhere goeZ ur chaTTin rendeZsvouS wif him.Wateva iT is,I noe ma B veri wel.Go ahead n maKe him chooZ beTween mi n u.DefiniTely,he'll chooZ mi ova u!WiTouT a doubT man!He doesnT love u.He loveZ mi!IsnT iT preTTi obvious oreadi?Ur juZ a fren.Im his gerl!So u cn juZ buZZ off!Kip on drmin abT e dae daT u'll hv him.Cx even Tho mi n B breaK up,I'll maKe sure daT u will nv geT him.Cx he deserveZ a much beTTa,preTTier n more inTelligent gerl den u!...

A Comebak...

2006-10-24T19:50:00.000+08:00

Here i am again afta a long tym nt updatin ma blog.Sori guyz!Been realli2 bz wif werk n skl evrydae.Cnt find e tym 2 log on 2 e net.Wel,even if i do,i stil don hv e tym 2 update ma bloggie..

So much has been happenin.Im no longer werkin @ TCC.Gt som probz wif ma bloody captain huz a goddamn biatch!Nw im werkin @ Maestro Bistro.Itz nt S fun dhere bt im gettin used 2 it ah.Adaptin maself.Made new frenz here @ ma new wrkplc..

Enuf abt mi.Black Diamond left us juz a wk b4 ari raye.Gosh!Im so upset.I loved him dearli.Nw ma baby BD is gone.I miz him sooo much!Wel,mae is soul rest in peace..

Papa is in Saudi nw werkin.Hez onli comin bak evry 6mthz.So dat meanz,e nxt tym i'll c him is somwhere ard march 2007.Gosh!Datz a long2 tym don u tink so?Haiz!Im gonna miz him sooo much!..

Tingz between B n I are oarhk.Sure we hv our ups n dwns.More dwns den ups actualli recentli.I hv no idea y oso.We juz kip on quarrellin non-stop.Mayb I juz gotta put an end 2 all dis quarrels somhw..

N 2 ma dearez frenz out dhere,CMT ARI RAYE!Maaf zahir & Batin.I miz u guyz soo much!Wish I cud mit up wif u guyz bt itz juz dat i've been realli bz.Hope 2 c u guyz soon!...

Get Wel Soon,Black Diamond!!...

2006-09-04T03:51:00.000+08:00

No skl 4 dis comin mon n tues cx lecturer's goin on a holidae 2 HK.Wth ryt?I noe.Seriousli hope dat e internal exam wil b postponed.If nt,dhere'd b nt enuf tym 4 us 2 prepare 4 it.Gonna do ma proj tml.Gotta finish it cx we delayd it oreadi.N e lecturer aint happi.Wateva ler k?Bleahz ler all dis ppl!..

So aniwae,Kakak n I applied 4 a job @ TCC n guez wat?WE GT E JOB!Yeeha!Startin dis comin Wed.Gtg 2 e HQ @ beach ctr firz 4 orientation n den we r off 2 our FIRZ job eva!Excited n nervous @ e same tym.Itz onli part-tym,nt 2 wori so I stil hv tym 4 ma studiez.Bt on fri n sat,we myt b workin til late ah.Gonna b bz wif work n skl evrydae.Gotta forgo ma social lyf somhw.Bt stil,@ e end of e dae,$$$ is comin in man!Woohoo!Finalli cn buy ma own tingz wif ma own $$!Sooo excited!Cnt wait 4 pae dae.Hakz!..

BD is stil @ e vet.Hez been dhere 4 ova a mth plus oreadi.Wat a pity.Cn wait 4 him 2 come bak.His ear infection is gettin betta,actualli.Bt he contracted som flu virus n nw hez dwn wif slight feva n nt wantin 2 eat n drink.E doctor said dat he dehydrates veri quickli.Haiz!Complicationz!I juz hope dat we cn take him hm soon.N dat he'd b wel juz lyk b4.Wanna bring him out 4 a walk ard e neighbourhood juz lyk b4.Get wel,DarL!We all mish u bak hm!!...

Ma Heart Bleedz Juz 4 U...

2006-08-24T13:59:00.000+08:00

Oarhk I realise dat itz been ages since I last updated ryt?Sori.Been 2 bz.Aniwaez,here I m nw.So here goes..

Alot has been happenin lateli.Lukin 4 a job ryt nw.Went 2 apply 4 a job S a waitress @ Forbidden City by Indochine @ clarke quay yest 2geder wif B n Kakak.E plc lukz real cool sia!Heheh!Bt dey hv yet 2 contact mi again.So hopefulli,I get e job ler.If nt,we shall try som oder plc den.Heheh!..

Dat dae went 2 som sec skl 2 accompany ma fren take som documentz.(I shant name e skl,tho).Had 2 cal dis teacher out frm e staff rm.Dey hv e intercom system dhere.Wel,so did ma sec skl.Frm wat I cn recall,bak in ma sec skl daez,e teacherz in ma skl wud help e studentz cal e teacherz out frm e staff rm cx studentz werent allowd 2 enter e staff rm.So @ ma fren's skl,I askd dis young female teacher 2 help us cal out Mdm ____.Den she said,"Use e intercom.E instruction r dhere".So we tried it out.Waited 4 30minz n e teacher dint appear.By den,e skl bell rang,indicatin e end of anoder skl dae.Teacherz were all passin by n I spotted anoder young female teacher n askd her 4 help.She said,"E intercom is dhere 4 a reason,Miss."Xcuse mi!Im nt a student here in ur skl.Im a visitor,lukin 4 a fellow collegue of urs.Cnt u juz cal her out frm e staff rm 4 mi?Sucha simple ting 2 do yet u choz nt 2 help.N her studentz were all lukin @ mi.I was sooo paiseh oarhk!Wel,bein e person dat I m,I hv xtremeli lil respect 4 teacherz lyk her n of cx I challenged her bak wif wordz.Gosh!Wat kinda teacherz does dat skl hv man?If e teacherz r oreadi S rude S dat,cn u juz imagine hw dheir studentz wil b?Urgh!Im super disgusted.I'll make sure dat I wun send ma child 2 dat skl in e future.(if it stil exists ler.lol).Such proud teacherz!Makez mi wanna puke!..

Kk.Enuf of criticizin dat skl.So here I m @ hm wif nuttin 2 do cx I mizd skl.Woke up late again.Bleahz!So typical of mi ryt?I noe..

I mish him alot,u noe.Realli2 mish him.Argh!!Y must he b sooo far awae?I sooo wanna c him!Ma heartz achin bt nobodi noez hw I feel ryt nw.Love him 2 bitz!If onli he noez dat.If onli he knew exactli hw Im feelin ryt nw den he wun b angri wif mi.Juz wanna b nxt 2 him ryt nw 2 tel him dat evrytingz gonna b alryt.Juz wanna hold him in ma armz n lend him ma shoulder 2 cry on.Juz wanna b dhere 2 cry wif him.Juz lukin @ his face n comfortin him givz mi pure satisfaction.Wanna hold him tight n nv let him go eva again.Wanna let him noe dat Im ORWAEZ dhere 4 him despite wat happend b4...

It Touchd Ma Heart...

2006-08-06T02:03:00.000+08:00

Had a blast of a tym on ma bdae.Went 2 mit ma sklmatez in e noon.Supposed 2 mit Mama n Kakak afta dat bt had a change of planz.So I reachd hm ard 9+ @ nyt.Saw a bdae cake on e table plus a present each frm Mama n Papa..

Papa gav mi a gold pendant worth $438 plus a bdae card.Super swt ryt of him?Heh!Thx alot aite,Daddy!Mama gav mi a Perlini black leather pouch.Thx alot,Mummy!Realli njoid maself on ma bdae.Hehehe!..

Ma BRD frenz lyk Elias,Yi Sin n Nabil cald 2 wish mi happi bdae.Thx guyz!Ur realli swt!Heheh!Nt 4gettin Shazana hu msgd mi 2 wish mi 2.Thx,gerl!I realli mish u guyz alot seh!Wish we were stil bak in BRD.Mish e gd old daez.Haiz!..

Aniwae,woke up ard 12 noon yest.Sent Mama 2 e door cx she was goin 2 work.Papa,Kakak n I were left @ hm.Aite ma bdae cake n den tuk a bath.Was @ hm e whole dae.Contemplated on goin out.Finally juz dismissd e idea.E comp technician came 2 check our lappie n computer.He left ard 5+ in e evenin.Den Papa tol Kakak n I 2 get dressd cx he was gonna bring us out 4 dinner.Finalli get 2 go out!Heh!..

Dint noe where 2 eat.So Kakak n I juz 4llowd Papa.He brought us 2 e Malay Village.Ate @ som Peranakan Restaurant dhere.Had Tom Yam soup,black pepper beef n fish sambal.Nt S hot S I xpected it 2 b aniwae.Bt e food was oarhk.It cost Papa a bomb.All in all,e bill was $81++.Wtf!Haiz!Bt I realli njoid ma dinner.Heh!..

Papa said dat hez goin 2 Saudi Arabia 2 work in a few wk's tym.Haiz!HE said hez gonna b dhere 4 3yrz!3yrz?Itz sucha long tym!Haiz!By e tym he comez bak here 2 s'pore,I'd b 20 oreadi.Probabli workin by den.Hmm..

Guez Im realli gonna mish him loadz...

Single Lyf ROX!!...

2006-08-02T01:13:00.000+08:00

So I've been quite bz lateli.Been 2 skl evrydae n den out wif ma frenz juz 2 chil ard n all.Guez Im juz indulgin in single lyf once again.Cn sae dat I realli miz it alot.Been quite somtym bak dat I was single.Hmm..lemme c.I tink it was abt 2yrz bak.So here I m once again wif ma frenz n all.Sooo happi,u noe?!..

Yeah.@ tymz I do tink abt him n hw hez doin n all.U myt sae dat we cn stil remain frenz afta evryting.Yeah we r!Bt itz juz dat we arent in contact dat much.Mayb e pain stil gripz bof our heartz n e cut is stil fresh n it nidz tym 2 heal.So mayb somtym apart wud b a gr8 idea.Guez ovatym wen e pain subsidez,we'll b in contact S frenz again (dat is if hez stil usin e same num).Mish him alot ler..

Aniwaez,been lukin ard 4 job vacancies in hotelz.Wanna work ler.@ leaz I get 2 occupy ma free tym n @ e same tym,earn som $$.Heh!@ leaz wen Im workin,I'll 4get abt Him n leave a;l ma probz bhynd.I tink workin is e bez wae 2 start afresh.hope Im doin e ryt ting.tho..

Wel,datz all dhere is 4 mi 2 update.Mayb more nxt tym ya peepz?Adios!!...

A Fresh New Start...

2006-07-19T11:56:00.000+08:00

So ma presentation's tml.Omg!Dherez stil quite a bit 2 b done.Plus,ma exam's dis fri.Wonder if I can finish studyin on tym..

Aniwae,wat cn I sae.A simple phrase,'2 heartz beatin individualli'.Get wat Im tryna sae here?Ma baby's gone!Yepp!He left 4 gd dis tym.5mthz of rltnshp gone dwn e drain.@ firz,I dint mind cx I felt dat it was realli tym 4 mi 2 go,aniwae.Bt afta a few daez has passd,Im beginnin 2 feel e pinch.Reality is startin 2 sink in dat hez gone.@ tymz,I do feel upset.Bt wat cn I do.Evrytingz said n done.Dherez no turnin bak nw.Hez moved on.I shld 2.Dherez no point holdin it bak.If I don move on nw,wen elz ryt?..

Yeah he did ask 4 a patch yest.Tho I wanted sooo much 2 sae 'YES',I cnt.Cx I noe Mama wun lyk it.Lyk it anot,I hafta sae 'NO'.U hv ani idea hw painful it was 4 mi?Dat was e saddest part of evryting.Im lettin go of evryting,evryting dat I once built soo hard.Im tryna pretend dat evrytingz fine n dat I cn deal witout him.Yes,I cn deal witout him bt evrytingz nt orite.I cnt trip lyk I used 2.Im older,wiser nw.I hafta deal wif dis calmly n maturely.I hafta c e bright side of tingz..

I juz hope dat tingz wil b oarhk 4 mi soon.I wanna bounce of e wall fast.I cnt let him bring mi dwn.Im strong enuf 2 pull thru,I noe.I wil make it witout him..

Nw ma lyf's abt ma family n frenz.Boifrenz?Hmph!Nt til I finish njoyin maself.Dherez stil soo much 4 mi out dhere.I wanna njoi 2 e max.Clubbin again!Omg!Heaven sia!Hehehe!Ma schedule wil b tight,goin out wif frenz n all.Im soooooo lovin it!!!...

Where Do Broken Heartz Go?...

2006-07-06T15:20:00.000+08:00

Been 2 skl n bak dis morn.Woke up late bt managed 2 get 2 skl on tym.Was rainin veri heavily.Felt so lazi 2 go 2 skl bt ultimately,I juz dragd ma feet..

Aniwae,gt bak ma Front Office Operationz exam resultz.Scored a distinction 4 it!!Yeeha!Heh!Den came our grp presentation resultz.Gt 7.5/10 4 it.We were e bez grp!Heh!So Mr Isaac,u promizd us breakfast ryt?Wen?Cn we each hv mcdonalds breakfast?Hehehe!Nt 4gettin a prezzie each 4 us.Cn get mi a pack of Winner Menthol?I'd b e happiest person.Heh!Ya2.Drm on,hani!Lyk datz eva gonna happen.Hahz!..

Aniwae,haven seen B in 2daez.Dunno where he is.Dint bother 2 contact him cx of som conflict dat we r facin ryt nw.Bt aniwae,he msgd mi yest,sayin dat he has resignd.I was lyk wat e hell!!Oarh man!!Nt again,plz!..

Somhw,deep dwn insyd,I stil love B alot.I mean,hw cn I nt love him ryt?We've been thru soo much,considerin e fact dat ma mum disagrees on our rltnshp bt we stil managed 2 stae strong n go on.I cn n I wil go on in dis rltnshp bt under 1 circumstance:dat we b bak 2 wat we were mthz bak.So cloz 2 each oder n super lovin.Bt where is all dat nw?Tingz juz seemd 2 take a turn soo fast.I juz cnt seem 2 let reality sip into ma head.Mayb I've changed,mayb nt.I dunno wat it is dat made tingz turn soo sour between us.Hw come ur nt dhere 4 mi animore lyk u used 2 b?Hw come weneva we sae 'gdnite' via SMS,we nv sae e 3 magic wordz ('I Love You')?Where's all dat nw?..

Somtymz I tink we r juz frenz.Bt @ tymz,I cn c dat we r stil 2geder.I nid a definite ans!I cnt stand ard,makin ma own assumptionz abt tingz.It takez 2 handz 2 clap.If Im e onli 1 workin hard 4 dis rltnshp,we stil wun work out..

B,do u hv ani idea hw much I mish e old us,e old u?U nv hurt ma feelingz,orwaez knew hw 2 make mi smyl even wen im @ ma lowest point.Bt nw,u juz don seem 2 giv a damn abt evryting.Itz lyk S if u don care animore.Bt weneva I ask 4 a break up,u don wanna let mi go.So wat izit nw between us?R we JUZ frenz or r we stil a couple.Itz ur decision 2 make.Wateva it is,I'll accept it n learn 2 deal wif it..

All dat I wanna sae 2 u is dat I realli love u alot.If tingz juz cnt b betta between us,den I'd prefer 4 us 2 b apart.Tho it hurtz,itz 4 e bez.If u eva read dis,I juz hope u undastan wat Im tryna sae.Im orwaez lovin u n I hope u feel e same wae 2...

Juz A Plain Update...

2006-07-04T15:47:00.000+08:00

Here we go again.. Anoder anniversary 4 B n I.. HaPpI 5mThZ,DarL!!..

Tingz hv changed alot between us.We arent S happi S we used 2 b mthz bak.E love is fadin?Mayb.I hv no idea.I cnt seem 2 find e reason y we r lyk dis nw.Evry lil ting I sae or do,he'd get angri.Itz lyk S if nuttin I do pleases him.It hurtz somtymz e wae hez treatin mi.R tingz gonna remain dis wae or is dis juz 4 awyl?Wil we even laz til e end of dis mth?Onli God noez e ans 2 dat.Nevertheless,I'll try ma bez 2 make tingz work out between e 2 of us.If we realli arent meant 2 b 2geder animore,den all I hafta do is juz let go.Tho itz gonna hurt alot,itz e bez wae out 2 evryting.U myt sae dat Im a coward,tryna run awae frm all e probz.Bt I juz cnt take it animore ler.C hw.If he givz mi a reason 2 stae,I wil.If nt,I'll juz walk awae kippin onli e swt memoriez we share 2geder in mind..

Nuttin happend much lateli.Juz dat I had ma Front Office Operationz exam juz nw.Gosh!It was kinda difficult.Hmm..Haiz!Bein to n bak frm skl evrydae.If nt hm straight,I'd b mittin B.Bt we rarely mit up nowadaez.Cx I hv an exam 2 studi 4 n he has a hectic work schedule.If nt,@ nyt I'd go down wif Kakak 2 mit e boiz n juz hang out 2 e playground,juz lafin our asses off ova e smallest ting.Itz fun!Heh!..

Diddy went bak 2 Aussie laz Sundae.Hw sad!Realli mish him alot.Hope he comez bak soon,safe n sound.Don 4get 2 contact mi wen ur bak aite!..

Feelin kinda bored @ hm.Dunno wat 2 do.Wanted 2 go watch a movie bt Kakak has an exam comin up tml so had 2 abandon e plan.Haiz!So here I m stuck @ hm.Thank God Atiqah calld mi 2 hv dinner wif her n e rez l8r!Thx gerl!Ur ma boredom saviour.Heh!Lurbfe2!..

Where's The LOVE?...

2006-06-26T02:45:00.000+08:00

U said u'd stae 4 gd dis tym.Hw happi I was wen u came bak into ma lyf afta 6 veri long mthz.Bt den again,u dint contact mi wen u said u wud.Itz e 25th 4 hell's sake!Doesnt it even mean a ting 2 u animore?Don tel mi u don rememba cx I noe dat u do.I dunno wat elz 2 sae.Waited n waited yet no calls or msgs frm u.Sik n tired of waitin again lyk I used 2.If u tink dat u realli cnt b wif mi,den u shudnt hv askd mi 2 b bak wif u again,ma dear.Itz realli up 2 u nw.I noe dat I've waited 4 u b4 bt dat doesnt mean dat Im gonna do it again.Im sori bt tym n tide waitz 4 no man,sweetie..

Wel aniwae,ma B has been tellin mi dat I've changed alot lateli.Hmm..in wat sense,i dunno.I cn feel dat Im nt dat cloz 2 him animore or izit dat ma love 2wardz him is fadin?Hmm..cnt b.Itz impossible.Bt I dunno y lateli weneva I go out wif him,I barely hold his hand animore n e wae I tok 2 him is lyk S if Im tokin 2 a fren.Y m I dis wae nw?I maself hv no ans 2 dat qn.Mayb itz juz e tingz he saes n does has finalli gotten 2 ma head..

Dherez soo many tingz I don lyk him doin yet he stil does it even tho he noez dat I don agree wif it.Plus,dherez soo many tingz he's said dat realli pierced thru ma heart.@ firz,all dis tiny tingz dint affect mi @ all bt ovatym,I realize dat itz realli gettin 2 mi.Mayb dis is exactli e reason y I feel lyk S if Im pullin maself awae frm B.Nt dat I deliberately do it bt it juz happend naturally..

I realli treasure our rltnshp cx we went thru soo much 2geder.Bt I juz cnt b wif som1 hu tinkz dat all e oder gerlz out dhere r wae betta den I m.Hellloooo!Im his gf 4 hell's sake.Shudnt he b makin mi feel special instead of puttin mi dwn?Hmph!I dunno la.Itz difficult 2 sae..

Nevertheless,I'll try 2 work tingz out between B n I.Hopefulli,we cn resolve tingz n b bak 2 wat we were lyk b4.Miz dhose tymz soo much!Hope he wun take wat Im gonna sae 2 heart.Hopefulli,he'll undastan...

Wonderful Ting Calld 'LOVE'...

2006-06-21T15:36:00.000+08:00

Wel firzly,I'd lyk 2 sae dat Im super happi dat tingz between ma B n I is much betta ryt nw.I managed 2 cool him dwn.It tuk quite alotta effort,actualli.Xavier,Kakak n I went 2 sims drive dat nyt cx Xavier wanted mi 2 accompany him c Hambali @ B's plc.Tho I dint wanna go,I juz forced maself 2.Met Xavier @ aljunied mrt station ard 8:45pm.Den e 3 of us walkd all e wae 2 sims drive.Halfwae thru,Xavier suddenli tol mi dat he dint wanna c Hambali,actualli.He wanted mi 2 sort tingz out wif B.I was lyk wat e hell!!..

K.nvm.Since we were oreadi dhere,I went 2 c B.Contemplated alot b4 knockin on e door cx I was feelin xtremeli nervous 2 c him.Walkd 2 e door n walkd bak 2 e staircase evrytym we heard B's mum raise her voice.Hahz!We were practicalli spendin 20mins @ e staircase,perspirin n sweatin lyk a mad dog.Hahz!Finalli,Kakak went 2 knock on e door n I went in.B was pretendin dat he was aslp wen actualli he was playin wif his PSP.Hahz!Tokd nicely 2 him n comforted him n he finalli coold down.Phew!Wat a relieve!Gd job,Hani!Hehehe!..

Aniwae,went 2 mit Diddy @ woodlands yest noon.Kakak came along.So Kakak n I tuk bus no.966 all e wae 2 woodlands.It tuk us abt 40mins 2 reach woodlands interchange.Reachd dhere n haad 2 wait 4 Diddy n his fren.Den e 4 of us walkd ard Causeway Point.Diddy's fren went hm 2 change firz so e 3 of us walkd ard e neighbourhood,lukin 4 SKL ciggyz.Heh!..

Tuk a bus 2 Vista Point n ate @ Banquet.All was on Diddy.Thx,Dy 4 e food n drinkz.Heh!By dat tym,Diddy's fren had oreadi joind us.So afta eatin,e 4 of us went 2 lepak under 1 of e blkz dhere n spent som tym chattin,lafin n catchin up on old tymz..

Realli missd Diddy alot.Itz been 6mthz since I laz saw him.Den ard 10pm,we made our move n tuk bus no.900 bak 2 e int.Dhere,Diddy kizd mi gdbye.Kakak n I tuk 966 bak hm..

Hmm..finalli get 2 c Diddy again.Realli mizd e old tymz we shared.Pretti gd memoriez,I muz sae.Haiz!Bt itz gd 2 noe dat Diddy n I r @ leaz stil in contact wif 1 anoder...

*~Jika teringat tentang dikau,jauh di mata dekat di hati.Sempat berfikir utk kembali.Walau bedah akan ku jalani.Tk ada niat utk berpisah denganmu.~*

Plz Sae U Love Mi...

2006-06-17T10:20:00.000+08:00

Nuttin much has been happenin lateli except dat Diddy enterd ma lyf again.Dint tink dat I'd eva see him again.We met a few daez bak @ tamp juz 2 catch up on old tymz.He hasnt changed a single bit since e laz tym I met him,which was lyk ormoz 9mthz bak.We cud get along juz fyn,jokin ard n havin a gd tym.He said I've changed alot.Realli marh?Heh!Dunno la eh.Aniwae,we juz lek under 1 of blkz opposite tamp mall.He bought mi a box of Winner Menthol ciggyz!Hey!Thx alot!U rememberd watz ma fav!Heh!Hw swt of him ryt?I noe.Hahz!Wel aniwae,he sent mi 2 e busstop ard 10.15pm n wen e bus came,he gav mi a kiz on e cheek.Heh!Hw swt!Waved him gdbye..

Yest went 2 send a box of ciggyz 2 ma B's workplc cx he was runnin out of ciggyz.Chilld dhere 4 awyl.Was supposed 2 mit mama afta dat @ Toa payoh.I tol him oreadi b4 I came.He said ok.Den wen e tym came dat I had 2 leave 4 Toa Payoh,he gt pissd off wif mi,tellin mi nt 2 go.Bt hw cn I busted ma mum ryt?Sae 2 her suddenli dat I cnt go.I had no choice.Whether he liked it anot,I stil had 2 leave cx mama was waitin 4 mi oreadi..

Wanted 2 kiz him gdbye bt he juz tol mi 2 go off.He shouted @ mi seh!I felt so embarrassed wen his frenz n ma frenz were lyk starin @ us.I tried 2 calm him dwn by sayin dat I'd c him again dis comin mondae n dat I'd pik him up @ work.Bt he was 2 heated up 2 even listen 2 wat I said.So I tol him dat I was sori bt I had 2 go.So I walkd off.Was waitin 4 e bus @ e busstop wen I realised dat his box of ciggyz were stil wif mi!So I turnd bak 2 luk 4 him.I squatted nxt 2 him 2 paz him e ciggyz bt he was soo stubborn n tol mi dat he dint wan it.I kept tellin him 2 take it den he walkd off,leavin evry1 2 stare @ mi.Fuckin paiseh sia!..

I waited 4 quite awyl 4 him 2 come again n wen he finalli did,he pretended dat I wasnt dhere.U noe hw pissd off I was,standin dhere lukin @ him lyk som stupid fool?!Suddenli ma pride n ego was tellin mi 2 juz throw e ciggyz on e table n walk off.N datz exactli wat I did.Dint turn bak 2 luk @ him..

Msgd him ard 7+ @ nyt bt he dint epli.So I calld him n his hp's off!Tried callin him soo many tymz bt itz off.Hw was I eva gonna tok 2 him?HaiZ!Tried callin him again dis morn bt S usual,itz off..

Im regrettin wat I did.I noe hez angri @mi n I cnt blame him 4 dat.Guez e 2 of us juz has a high level of pride n ego.Bt y must he switch off his fone?Hw m I 2 contact him again?Does dis mean dat he wanz a break up?I dunno man.I dunno hw elz 2 luk 4 him.Ma heart's breakin.Altho we fougt b4,it was nv dis serious.We wud solve evryting within a few hrs.Bt dis is draggin on.Wen wil it stop?Wen wil he contact mi again?Wil he eva contact mi again?Wil I eva c him again?Watz gonna become of our rltnshp?..

I realli love him alot.I don wanna lose him...

~*I don wanna run awae.Baby,ur e 1 nid 2nyt.No promises.*~

Notti Mi...

2006-06-09T11:07:00.000+08:00

So I mizd skl 2dae.Yupp!Dint feel lyk goin.Sik n tired of e presentations n quizzes we hv.Studyin evrynite is a HUGE chore,u noe.Cnt believe dat itz more stressin den sec skl.Examz evry 13th lesson?Im realli gettin extremeli strezd out here!Halooo!Sombodi plz help!Ya,skl myt onli b 3hrz evrydae bt e amt of info we learn within dat 3hrz is tremendous,I muz sae.So many tingz 2 stuff into ma brain.Dunno if I cn rememba evryting @ e end of e dae.Itz pretty exhausting.Haiz!..

Alone @ hm ryt nw.Kakak is awae @ skl n ma parenz r @ work.Aint gt nuttin 2 do nw.Wanna go out bt 2 where,wif whom?hmm..myt S wel stae hm sia lidat.Save som $$ 4 tml..

Hw fast!Itz fridae oreadi so dat meanz im mittin B tml!!!!yeeha!!!i cn hardli wait sia!Muz wear nice2.Heh!If onli nw is Sat oreadi.Haiz!Mish u sooo much,ma HuBby!..

Been dwnloadin songz into ma mp3 cx B wanna borrow it 2 bring 2 work.Den wat mp3 m I gonna use?Haiz!Nvm la.Giv n take la eh?...

Clubbin Again Plz!!!...

2006-06-08T16:51:00.000+08:00

Nuttin much has been happenin lateli.Juz been out 2 skl n bak.Yepp2!I've been hm straight afta skl.Doesnt sound lyk mi ryt?Cx B has started workin nw.No choice.Gotta go hm straight.Bsydz,ma 'Introduction 2 Hospitality' exam's nxt wk oreadi.Gotta start muggin lyk shit again!Hw 2 finish 1 whole bk seh?Hmm..wel,im sure i cn do it!Yeah!U go,hani!Hehehe!..

Been missin B alot lateli.Used 2 seein him evrydae afta skl.Nw i cn c him onli once a wk since he started workin.Sadded sia!Bt wat cn I do.I gotta sacrifice ryt?Aniwae,Im seein him dis Sat afta work.Heh!Realli2 cnt wait 2 c him seh!Feelz lyk ages since I laz saw him.Im gonna giv him a HUGE bear hug!!Hehe!!Wel,thank Allah dat we r stil S cloz S b4 despite e distance.Hez ma fav boi!Heh!..

Skl's gettin pretty interestin.Frenz r crazier den I tot dey r.Tho im e youngest in claz,I cn get along wel wif e oderz.Cnt stop lafin weneva im in claz.New found frenz!YEEHA!..

Heard dherez anoder underage parti 2 MOS dis 18th.Shld i go?Hmm..stil contemplatin.Cx itz on a Sundae n e nxt dae's a sklin dae 4 mi.Mayb I cn skip skl again bt e qn is,dherez certainly an overwhelmin crowd lyk e firz tym.Dunno if I shld go.Mayb I shld juz go clubbin wif ma frenz dis 14th afta ma exam.Shld b a hell of a blast sia!Heh!...

Let Ur Hair Dwn!...

2006-06-03T14:39:00.000+08:00

Gt bak me exam resultz n guez wat??I PASSED!heheh!I gt a distinction 4 it!I was kinda shockd cx firzly,I dint xpect 2 paz,much less get a disticntion 4 it.Guez it was juz pure luck.Hahz!..

So I went clubbin.Had a great tym.Went wif Kakak n Xavier,a fren of myn.We partied til late.It was super fun,bein ma firz tym 2 e club.Felt awkward @ firz.Dint wanna get 2 e dancefloor bt afta I 'warmed-up', I cudnt stop dancin.Hahz!We left e club ard 2+ in e morn den we went 2 eat @ Shah Alam,somwhere @ Boat Quay.Den we tuk a cab.Dropd Xavier off @ sims drive firz den Kakak n I headed 4 hm.Was realli beat sia.Went straight 2 bed n woke up ard 11am.Obviously,I mizd skl.Heheh!It was pre-planned,actualli.Heh!Notti mi,I noe..

E nxt dae,I went 2 skl S usual.B pikd mi up @ skl dat dae.Hw swt of him,I noe.Heheheh!We walkd ard bugis firz den we walkd all e wae 2 Sim Lim Tower juz 2 browse ard.Walkd ard sungei rd den we went 2 eat @ Raffles Hospital's Banquet.By e tym we left,it was rainin.Made a dash 2 e mrt.Alighted @ aljunied n waited 4 Kakak dhere.Walkd all e wae 2 sims drive.Relaxed 4 awyl n den Xavier askd us 2 accompany him 2 twn 2 plae billiard.Tuk e train dhere.Playd billiard til 7+pm n we walkd all e wae 2 Plaza Singapura 2 take bus no.64 bak 2 sims.Kakak was walkin wif Xavier all e wae wyl I was wif B..

Grabbd a slurpee n a choc bar @ e 7-11 n wiated 4 e bus.Headed 2 B's plc,relaxed n walkd all e wae 2 geylang 2 get ciggyz.Den Xavier n B waited wif us.Kakak n I boarded bus no.51 bak hm wyl e boiz headed bak hm 2...

A Movie Again Nxt Tym??...

2006-05-28T10:37:00.000+08:00

Here we go again.Anoder anniversary 4 ma B n I.. So,HaPpi 4mthz AnNiVeRsArY,dArL!!..

Watchd X-men wif Kakak n som1 special 2 mi(nt ma boi ah) on e 25th.Heh!So we met @ Tampines Mall n caught e 3.40pm show.Had soo much fun!Itz been a long tym since e 3 of us were out 2geder again.Joked ard lyk we used 2.Added 2 dat,e movie was fantastic tho it had a sad endin.Haiz!Had 2 rush hm afta dat 2 studi cx e nxt dae,I hv an exam 2 sit 4.We tuk bus 65 bak 2 ubi den he tuk anoder bus 2 somwhere.Btw,thx 4 agreein 2 watch e movie wif us eh (u noe hu u r)!Been missin u lotz lateli.Frenz 4 eternity ya?!!..

So e nxt dae I had ma firz exam in skl.Food & Beverage Operationz.I did studi it 4 it,tho.Bt sadli,I tink I screwd it up big tym.Juz cnt seem 2 rememba wat I studied!God dammit!!..

Wel,aniwae afta 2 agonizing hours of completin e damn paper,I finalli gt outta claz n headed straight hm.Changed n went out again.Headed straight 2 sims drive 2 mit B.Met him @ blk60 den we walkd all e wae 2 get ciggyz.Den walkd again 2 aljunied mrt 2 book NDP tix @ e SAM machine.Afta all dat is done,we headed 2 geylang east lbr cx he wanted 2 waste som tym.Browsed thru stuffz n we walkd all e wae 2 aljunied.Felt a lil hungri bt he insisted on goin bak 2 sims.So we crozd e bridge..

Stomach cudnt stop grumblin n sims dint hv ani excitin food 2 eat.So we decided 2 walk 2 boon keng 2 get smthg 2 eat.Otw dhere,bumpd into Zul.Hey dhere!Heh!..

We had Mee Hong Kong 4 lunch.Dunno y dat dae he cudnt stop starin @ mi.Itz lyk S if he hasnt seen mi 4 mthz lidat.Hahz!So we walkd bak 2 sims.Joked ard all e wae.Had soo much fun..

Relaxed @ e bbq pit b4 goin up 2 his plc.Watchd anak mami e movie @ his plc.Nuttin much afta dat.So ard 9.30pm,I left sims drive 4 hm...

A Recent Update...

2006-05-21T02:33:00.000+08:00

Hmm..Dint notice dat itz been a mth plus since i updated ma bloggie.Sori ppl.Been 2 bz lateli wif skl n all..

Yepp!I've started skl oreadi.2 b exact,skl started on e 8th of may.Hafta wake up earli evry morn yet again juz 2 get readi 4 skl.Haiz!Itz become ma daily routine.Skl's onli 3hrz 4 mi.9am-12pm daily.Bt seriousli,dherez nuttin much 4 us 2 do in skl.No facilitiez,no nuttin.We come 4 claz n we leave straight afta.Itz lyk an office buildin,u c.Sucha small plc.No space 4 anitin elz.Gosh!Y cnt dey juz get a bigger buildin?!Wel,hotel management is fun.Rite nw,im on ma firz module.Dat is, Food & Beverage Services.Nt bad ah.We get 2 learn hw 2 make wine n all.Pretti intrestin,I muz sae..

Ma clazmatez r frenly.Except dat dey r all older den mi.I feel lyk S if im e moz childish in claz,added 2 e fact dat I oreadi m.Heh!Onli 3 malayz.E rez r chinese.No maly boiz.Haiz!Soo borin!Oopz!Heh!..

Cnt wait 4 e 30th!Under age parti @ MOS!!Ma chance 2 hit e club!Yeeha!Itz on a skl nite,tho.Bt wat e heck!Im sooo goin 4 it man!It wun hurt 2 skip skl 4 juz 1dae,wud it?Heh!Im sure Im gonna hv a hell of a fun tym dhere.Tym 2 PARTIIIIII!!!Cnt wait sia!..

Tingz between mi n ma honey r ok,I tink.Tho I admit we've been facin alotta obstacles lateli.Itz difficult,u noe.Realli2 difficult.Ma mistake,I muz sae.Comtemplated a break up,actualli.Bt Im glad dat we dint.Realli2 love him alot.Cnt c maself witout him.Tho tymz r tough 4 us rite nw,I hope dat we cn hang in dhere n go thru dis 2GEDER...

Lovin U Orwaez,Hubby!...

2006-04-29T17:16:00.000+08:00

HaPpi 3mthz AnNiVeRsArY,ma dear!!I love u sooo much!!U hv no idea hw happi I m 2 hv met u.I cudnt ask 4 a betta B.Thank u,Allah!!..

Tingz hv been e same 4 e paz few daez.Nuttin much happend ah.Been @ hm since yesterdae.2 tired 2 go out.Onli mittin ma B again on Mondae.Cnt wait 2 c him again!Missin him soo much seh!..

Wel,earli dis morn,went dwn 2 'lepak' wif Batu n Amy.Firdaus joind us later.It was quite fun ah..

Skl startin on e 8th.Gotta buy UNIFORM!Oh man!Dint noe dat I had 2 wear a certain kinda uniform.Long-sleeved white blouse n black skirt.Doesnt dat make mi luk soo formal?Heh!..

Til den,nuttin much 2 sae.Catch up wif u guyz again nxt tym aite...

Nuttin Much...

2006-04-25T15:13:00.000+08:00

Sori haven been bloggin 4 quite somtym.Juz cudnt find e tym 2 do so.Usualli nt @ hm ah.Heh!..

So here goes..
Nuttin much has been happenin,actualli.Tingz r stil pretti much e same.Been hangin out wif ma frenz @ nite.Somtymz,we go ridin n somtymz we juz 'lepak' @ e void deck.Itz fun!Heh!..

In e dae,either I stae hm or I go 2 B's plc juz 2 hang out.Wel if ur wonderin,tingz between B n I r stil goin smoothly.We juz had anoder huge argument yesterdae.He even askd mi 2 get out of e hse n nv come bak 2 c him again.He tol mi 2 take bak e hp dat I lent 2 him.Itz heart-breakin 2 hear him sae all e tingz he said.I cudnt help it.Tearz juz rolld dwn ma cheekz.I've nv been soo sad in ma lyf b4.Tried so many tingz 2 calm him dwn bt he juz kept pushin mi awae.Felt lyk juz walkin out n nv comin bak bt den again,wen fire n oil come 2geder,itz onli gonna make tingz worse.So I juz forced maself 2 b patient n 2 put up wif his attitude..

Ova tym,he kinda coold dwn.Thank God!Den tingz went on smoothly again 4 us,jokin ard S usual,playin wrestlin n punchin each oder.Heh!So e main point is,we r stil 2geder n I realli2 thank Allah 4 dat.Don wanna b apart frm ma B..

I gotta blog dis.. Kakak n I went ridin wif e ubi boiz.It was realli fun.E firz nite,we went 2 Kubur Kassim somwhere @ Siglap.I 'tumpang' Magrib.Kakak 'tumpang' Batu.I tink abt 9 of us went.Afta dat,all of us rode 2 Geylang 2 watch e prostitutes.It was realli2 fun.Heh!Den abt 5+ in e morn,we made our wae bak..

E nxt nite we went ridin,Magrib dint come along.So I 'tumpang' Batu n Kakak 'tumpang' Amy.Dis tym,onli Batu,Amy,Muadz,Zul,Kakak n I went ridin.We rode all e wae 2 Downtown East.It was realli fun tho ma butt hurt alot.Heh!We went 2 xplore e Pasir Ris swamp.By e tym we reachd hm,it was comin 2 6am in e morn.B was quite pissd off @ mi cx I went ridin wif e boiz.Hahz!Bt aniwae,he was quite ok wif it ah...

A Wonderful Dae!!...

2006-04-05T14:29:00.001+08:00

Went out wif Kakak n ma B yest.B brought along his younger bro,Hambali.Heh!Dat lil boi is soo adorable,I tel u.So e 4 of us went 2 Queensway cx B wanted 2 luk 4 som stuffz dhere.Tuk bus no.100 dhere.Was a rather long ride dhere..

Reachd dhere n it raind so we walkd ard in e shoppin centre.Tot B wanted 2 buy smthg bt he dint.Wel,Hambali was runnin all ova e plc n poor Kakak n I had 2 go ard chasin afta him.Heh!He touchd ormoz evryting dat caught his eye..

Wen e rain stopd,e 4 of us walkd 2 e busstop outsyd,thinkin of goin 2 Tampines.Bt dhere wasnt ani direct bus frm Queensway 2 Tampines.Wanted 2 take a cab bt no taxi drivers wanna take us dhere cx Tampines is lyk soo far away frm Queensway..

Walkd 2 e oder busstop 2 take a bus 2 Queenstwn MRT station.Kakak calld Wati n she said 2 take bus no.64.We boarded e bus n ended up somwhere elz.Heh!Thx alot!We had 2 walk dhere.Tuk e train 2 Tampines..

Walkd ard TM.Hambali was runnin ard,S usual n we were runnin afta him.Duh!Hahz!Went into toys 'r' us.Hambali dint wanna get out of e shop!Heh!He was attracted 2 e toyz dhere.I had 2 carry him outta e shop.aHe was kickin mi,wantin mi 2 put him dwn.Heh!..

B's mum wanted him 2 bring KFC food hm.So he decided dat he'd pack hm e family feast so dat all of us cud eat 2geder.Ma stomach was grumblin sia!Heh!Haild a cab hm cx evryting was 2 heavy 4 us 2 carry up e bus.B,maself n Hambali were @ e backseat.Gosh!Hambali cudnt sit stil.Heh!..

Reachd sims ard 8+pm.Went straight up 2 B's plc.Relaxd dhere 4 awyl.Den we realised dat we 4gt 2 buy drinkz.I volunteered 2 go dwn n get it.B accompanied mi.We joked ard.B carried mi n he ormoz fell.Heh!He said dat I was 2 heavi 4 him.Idiot!Hahz!..

Den we ran all e wae up 2 his plc.Itz fun 2 b childish @ tymz.Heh!We had alotta fun disturbin each oder..

We all ate @ B's plc.He was supposed 2 go 2 work bt he said he was 2 tired n decided nt 2 go.Den we all went 2 Grandlink 2 plae CS.Had a gr8 tym dhere n B fell off his chair twice!!So funni sia!Hahz!Instead if helpin him up,I was lafin @ him.I noe,I noe.Im veri mean.Bt I cudnt help it.It was soo funni!Hahz!..

We left Grandlink ard 12:20am.Walkd 2 e busstop n Kakak n I tuk bus no.51 hm.B tuk a cab,I tink...

Juz Dat...

2006-04-01T02:34:00.000+08:00

Haven seen ma honey since laz mondae.Missin him soo much oreadi.Nw I cn onli c him once a wk cx hez workin @ nite n he nidz his rest n all.Sadded!Cnt c him S often S laz tym.Oarh wth!@ leaz I get 2 c him once a wk rite?Itz betta den nuttin.Cnt wait 2 c him l8r in e dae!Yay!Heh!Realli mish him sia!!..

Tingz r goin gr8 4 mi n ma honey.Mayb we've clarified alotta tingz n dis has helpd us alot in undastandin each oder.Somhw,I trust him more nw.Itz gr8 2 b in dis rltnshp.I hope Im rite ah..

Aniwae,juz nw,went 2 7-11 wig Kakak n Mama 2 register our ppd cardz.Firdaus was dhere 2.Heh!Registerin ur card 2 huh?Hahz!Had a shot chat wif him.Nice 2 c u again,pal!..

Walkd bak hm.Mama went up wyl Kakak n I waited @ e staircase 4 Abg.He said he was comin ova.Den suddenli,wyl waitin,Maghrib ma heart throb zoomd past on a bicycle.Gt a shock of ma lyf sia!Heh!Den witout mi noticin,he turnd bak n emergd bhynd mi,givin mi a fright.Hahz!Chatted n chatted n he tol us 2 sit under e blk near e lift dhere.So we went dhere..

Itz ma firz tym realli chattin wif him.Hez frenly ah.We joked ard n lafd.Den Abg came.Kakak went 2 tok 2 Kakak wyl I was left tokin 2 Maghrib.Wanted 2 ask 4 his num bt den he showd mi a pic of his gf.Haiz!Spoil ma chance onli.Damn!!..

Den Abg went hm n Kakak joind us bak again @ e table.Amran came cx he n Maghrib were supposed 2 go ridin wif e oder boiz.Dey sat 4 awyl b4 leavin.Heh!Hw cute!!Gosh!Wat a heart throb Maghrib is!Itz a pity dat hez oreadi attachd.Damn!Im sucha bitch!Heh!!...

Happi Anniversary,Baby!!...

2006-03-28T04:28:00.000+08:00

HaPpi 2mthz AnNiVeRsArY,hOnEy!!.. Finalli,we r 2mthz 2geder.Im soo glad dat we've made it dis far 2geder.Sure we had our ups n dwns bt Im glad we overcame it n we r stil 2geder 2dae..

Yest noon,met ma darlin @ sims ard 2:30pm.I was half an hr late,actualli.Heh!So,calld him dwn wen I reachd.Kakak was ova @ Chinatwn wif Abg..

Ma honey n I lepak-d under e blk wyl waitin 4 e rain 2 subside.Den we went up 2 his plc 4 awyl cx he nided 2 take cigarette.Came dwn n Xavier was dhere.So we hung out wif him wyl waitin 4 ma honey's sis 2 come dwn.She brought dwn e adorable Hambali wif her.So e 4 of us,2geder wif Hambali went 2 e coffeeshop 2 grab som drinkz n fud.Wel,it was all on Xavier.Thx aite,bro!Heh!..

Afta eatin n jokin ard,we all went up 2 ma honey's plc.Dint wanna go in @ firz.Felt veri shy ah.Hahz!Den afta much persuasion frm ma honey's sis n Xavier,I finalli went into e hse.We all watchd som malay movie.Den ma honey's mum came hm frm fetchin Ridzuan frm skl.Hung out @ ma honey's plc til nite.I tink it was ard 11:10pm dat I left his plc 4 hm cx Kakak was oreadi otw bak hm frm Yishun.Had 2 mit her @ ubi so dat we'd go hm 2geder.Hahz!..

So ma honey accompanied mi 2 e busstop n I tuk e firz 51 bak hm.Kizd ma honey gdbye n dat was e end of yet anoder dae..

O ya!Ma honey showd mi a pic of his beloved X,Ikin.K ah.Nt bad ah eh.Bt itz juz dat I feel a lil insecure.I mean,I noe dat he stil lovez her.I juz wonder where I stand in his heart.So many qnz hv been goin thru ma mind.Wat if I cnt b S gd,if nt betta den his X?Wil he eva get ova her?Wil he eva love mi more den her?Wat if 1 dae she comez bak,wil he accept her bak?Im AFRAID.I dunno wat 2 sae or do.Onli he has e ans 2 all ma qnz.Wel,even tho he givz mi e ans,is he truthful?I dunno.Im confused rite nw.Im juz scared...

Juz A Fantasy...

2006-03-24T14:24:00.000+08:00

L-O-V-E.. Wat exactli is e meanin 2 dat word aniwae?In dis world,in dis tym,dherez juz no rm 4 love no more.Wen u tink ur in love,tink again.Cx by e tym u finalli c tingz clearli,u'll realise dat u've juz fallen outta love.Itz juz a fantasy,a fantasy u cnt help fallin into.If u fall outta love,was it love dat u felt in e firz plc?I wish I knew e ans 2 dat.Itz smthg so beautiful @ firz bt wen it turnz 360 degreez ard,itz tym 2 call 4 SOS..

Itz hard 2 believe dat I love Ijal.Cx rite nw Im thinkin,do I realli love him at all?I shuda known betta den 2 take him bak cx 4 mi,a patch up orwaez doesnt work out no matter hw hard u try.Itz nt e same S b4.E feelin aint dhere no more.If I sae I stil love him,hu m I foolin here?Im onli foolin maself..

Yes!I said dat I'd 4giv him 4 treatin mi lyk a dirtbag dat dae.Bt cn I eva 4get?Nah!Don tink so.Wat happend dat dae is stil so vivid in ma mind.E hurt dat he put mi thru.E pain I felt dat dae is stil bein felt 2dae.Im wif dis heck care attitude.A feelin I shudnt b feelin.Dherez so many tingz unsaid between us.N e feelin is no longer real n alive.I guez e flame has died n we r juz tryin 2 hard 2 ignite it again.Bt wat cn u do if dherez no oxygen left 2 kip e flame burnin?Itz juz tym 4 us 2 sit n watch e flame die veri slowli.It comez dwn 2 e fact of,huz gonna sae it firz.Im certain dat neither of us is gonna sae dat taboo word.Mayb we r juz gonna sit n wait.Let tym do itz job..

I've gt nuttin 2 sae nw.I've xpected dis.I noe dat ma rltnshps nv last longer den a mth or so.Im sik of bein in dis situation.I dunno wat 2 feel.Breakin up has been a norm 4 mi.Yeah it hurtz wen e person u love juz walkz awae frm u.Bt u gotta move on wif or witout him.Mayb u juz gotta pik up where u left of b4 u met him.Itz either u go bak 2 ur lyf laz tym or start afresh..

Itz gonna b difficult 2 4get him juz lidat.Onli tym cn heal all woundz.Dherez no point forcin urself 2 4get him cx itz onli gonna b even more painful.Bt den again,doez tym realli heal all woundz?N do all memoriez realli turn 2 dust?Itz hard thinkin dat hez gone 4 gd.Bt cn u do anitin abt it?Dherez no point in tellin him nt 2 go,no point in holdin him bak onli 2 feel e hurt all ova again.Izit realli worth it den 2 giv e rltnshp a 2nd chance?..

Seriousli,a patch up shudnt happpen @ all.If u realli wanna break up,let it b e firz n e last.Cx a patch up onli spells 4 worse situationz in e future..

*i'll walk on n nv luk bak.i'll let e tearz fall 4 u.i'll let ma heart bleed juz 4 u.itz e pain im readi 2 go thru 2 4get u...*

A Whole Lot Of Fun...

2006-03-21T02:32:00.000+08:00

Sori 4 missin bloggin dhese paz few daez.been bz wif alotta stuffs.So here goes..

18 March:
Went dwn 2 twn.Watchd "Date Movie" @ Cineleisure.E movie was funni.Realli2 funni.Bt it doesnt make sense.2 b frank,it was kinda silly 2 a certain extent.Certain partz of e movie wasnt practical @ all.Yeah!I had a gd laf wyl watchin e movie.Bt afta a wyl,it seemd nonsense.Nt e type of movie,I'd watch.Bt since ma fren pikd dat movie,we all juz had 2 go wif e flow..

So afta dat,I bumpd into ma honey,his sis n her boi.He yelld ma name n askd 4 mi 2 join dem.So I said 'ok' n 'separated' frm ma frenz.Walkd ard Orhard wif dem.Kakak was ova @ Haig Rd wif Hafiz.So e 4 of us chilld outsyd Paragon.Dunno where 2 go.In e end,we headed ova 2 HMV cx ma honey wanted 2 buy som Bob Marley cd.Afta all dat is done,we walkd all e wae 2 Orchard Tower.Dropd by e 7-11 dhere.Den rested @ a nearby busstop.By den it was 10:30pm..

Ma honey n I went 2 e oder busstop 2 take bus no.7 bak 2 sims drive wyl adk n her boi went off 2 where dey parkd e byk.So e 2 couples finalli split up..

Arrived @ sims drive ard 11;15pm cx we had 2 walk all e wae in.Mizd e stupid busstop.Hahz!So ma honey n I went 2 chil near e bbq pit.Chatted n joked ard.Checkd e tym n it was 11:50pm.Saw a police patrol car enter e estate so I decided 2 walk awae,afraid of bein screend cx bof of us r still under 17 n we arent supposed 2 hang out afta 11pm,accordin 2 e 'new' law.Blah3!..

Ma honey wanted 2 go hm 2 change.So we went up.I waited @ e staircase 4 him wyl he went in 2 change.Met his mum 4 awyl n kissd her hand n left.By den it was 12:45am n dhere was no more buses.Ma honey gav mi som cash 4 taxi fare.We went lor 21 2 get smthg den walkd all e wae bak 2 blk 54 2 grab a cab.Kizd ma honey gdbye n finalli Im on ma wae hm..

Reachd ubi ard 1:30am.Met Kakak n Abg @ e playground.We were supposed 2 ton dat nite.Went hm 2 change n came out again.Chilld @ e playground,bein childish n msgin ma honey @ e same tym.Ard 5:50am,we went 2 e busstop 2 send Abg up e firz bus.Den Kakak n I went hm 2 take a gd long slp..

19 March:
Dint hv ani planz of mittin ma honey dat dae.Went dwn 2 kllg 2 mit Abg.Lepak @ e sk8wave 4 awyl den walkd all e wae 2 towner rd 2 jeff's plc 2 get Abg's board.Den Kakak n I accompanied Abg sk8.We were sittin dwn @ e ramp wyl he was sk8in.Ma honey msgd,sayin dat adk's boi wanted mi 2 come ova n lepak wif dem @ sims.Tol him dat I'll b reachin dhere ard 9+ cx I had 2 wait 4 Abg 2 finish sk8in..

I fell aslp @ e ramp.Yah.Wat an odd plc 2 fall aslp on rite?Hahz!Bt it was realli comfortable n coolin dhere.Woke up wen I heard ma fone beepin wif a msg.It was frm ma honey.He was askin mi if he cud go drink wif adk's boi.I was furious.Of cx I wun allow him!Isnt dat pretti obvious oreadi?Y muz he stil ask 4 ma permission.Stupid rite?Haiz!Changed ma mind of comin ova 2 sims.Dint feel lyk goin dhere cx I was stil soo mad @ him.Drinkin!Hmph!I hate ma boiz drinkin!Im sure he noez dat by nw!..

Kakak,Abg n I walkd all e wae 2 sims 2 get a bus hm.Tot of seein ma honey 4 awyl.Calld his hp bt adk said dat he was aslp oreadi.Haiz!Nvm den.So e 3 of us went 2 e busstop 2 take e bus hm.Met Farehan dhere.Hez eva soo cute n cool.He saw mi n smyld.Aww..Hw cute!Heh!He wwent up 2 bus so I waved him gdbye..

Tuk e bus hm ard 11:15pm.By den,I was dead tired.Fell aslp S soon S I reachd hm...

If Onli I Knew...

2006-03-17T02:11:00.000+08:00

Went 2 sims drive yest noon 2 c Ijal.Said he wanted 2 settle tingz.Haiz!Hw worse cud it get?Reachd dhere ard 3:40pm.Calld him dwn.N S xpected,dhere was cold treatment all e wae.Dint tok much.Dint even luk @ each oder's face.Bof of us were stil veri heated up..

Den suddenli he walkd off AGAIN.Tried stoppin him bt he juz kept on walkin.Difficult 4 mi 2 catch up wif him.Den he walkd straight 2 e lift n clozd e door in ma face!Yelld his name bt he plainly ignored mi.Fine!2 cn plae e same game..

Gt a cal frm Mdnoh,sayin dat he wanted 2 c mi.Gd tymin,ma dear boi!So I headed off 2 e busstop 2 take 40 2 Bdok int 2 c Mdnoh.Dint feel lyk goin hm.Was 2 stressd up.I felt soo disappointed in Ijal.Hw did he hv e heart 2 do dat 2 mi?Hw dare he!!..

So I walkd off,nt lukin bak even once.Hung ma head low all e wae.I was havin mixd feelingz abt evryting.Wyl otw outta e estate,I received a msg frm Ijal.He was apologisin abt wat he did n he tol mi nt 2 bother him animore.Veri wel den!Dint feel lyk replyin his msg aniwae.2 angri @ him.So I juz walkd on..

Wyl @ e busstop waitin 4 bus no.40,anoder msg came in.Itz frm Ijal again.It read,"hate mi huh?"Ignored it again,plannin 2 epli him once I gt up e bus.Nt long,40 came n I was on ma wae 2 Bdok.Ijal calld askin mi where I was.Blah3!Dint feel lyk tokin so I juz allowd him 2 get his msg acroz 2 mi n hung up on him witout sayin gdbye.Replied his msg.Den he went on sayin dat he stil loves mi n all bt itz juz dat we cnt b 2geder animore.Wtf!Hw lame cn dis b?I don even noe y he wanz a break up..

Tearz juz came rollin dwn ma cheekz.Dunno whether ani1 in e bus noticed mi cryin.Bt wth.Msgd Ijal all e wae wyl in e bus 2 Bdok..

Arrived @ Bdok int ard 5pm.Made ma wae 2 blk 425 2 mit Mdnoh.Stil feelin veri dwn n upset.Saw Mdnoh dhere.He was super frenly 2wardz mi.Wel,I c hez gt new piercingz.Cool2!Hahz!..

We chilld @ e playground wif 3 of his frenz.Was gd seein him again afta all dis tym.We've known each oder 4 quite som tym oreadi.Finalli I feel a lil comfy ard him.We were jokin ard n whackin each oder.Hez funni ah.Hahz!..

Had 2 rush hm cx Kakak wanted mi 2 buy her hair bleach.Tuk bus 25 hm n e bloody shop was clozd.Haiyo!Waste ma energy onli.Hahz!Bumpd into ma fren n tokd 2 him 4 awyl n reachd hm an hr later.Muahaha!..

Ijal's askin 4 a patch up rite nw.Ma heartz stil achin,thinkin abt wat he did juz nw.I was soo disappointed in him.I dunno wat 2 do - 2 take him bak or juz let us b frenz.Hmm..Im stil confused rite nw...

If I Had One Wish...

2006-03-16T03:02:00.000+08:00

Went dwn 2 c ma honey yest.He was lazi 2 go 2 work so he calld mi dwn 2 c him..

Had alotta fun irritatin each oder,lafin our arses off @ each oder.Nv tot dat e dae wud end up in a nightmare 4 mi.Hmm..

Suddenli,he tuk ma hp n saw a msg frm Mdnoh,askin mi 4 a patch up.Of cx I said NO 2 Mdnoh cx I oreadi hv a boi.I don wanna b plain tymer,wud i?Bsydz,I love ma honey lotz.I don wanna do anitin 2 hurt him or 2 jeopardise or rltnshp in ani wae..

He flared up wen he saw e msg.Mdnoh was callin mi 'syg' in e SMS.Bt I swear dat I realli2 dint take Mdnoh bak.Appararentli,ma honey doesnt believe mi.4 e firz tym,I saw him gt angri @ mi.Dis tym itz ugly.Tried 2 tok 2 him abt it bt he juz doesnt wanna listen.I noe he doesnt trust mi animore,nt even a single bit.Haiz!..

He suddenli said "cpt ah.alek."Darn!He walkd off all e wae in fronta mi.I cnt sae anitin.He juz doesnt wanna listen.He forced mi up e bus n dhere wasnt a kiz gdbye frm him.Hmm..Felt soo disappointed in him.Tearz were rollin dwn ma cheekz.Dint bother 2 luk bak @ him.Dint wanna let him c mi cryin.POS!!..

Nightmare again 4 mi.Felt lyk S if im drownin.Dunno wat 2 do.He tol mi 2 go bak 2 Mdnoh cx he nidz mi.Wait a min!Mdnoh nv nided mi.Bsydz,we broke up a long2 tym ago.Cx of dat simple msg,he wanna break up?Wat happend 2 all e promises he made 2 mi earlier on?Dat he'd nv leave mi despite e probz dat we'll be goin thru.Den y is he so quick 2 quit suddenli??..

I dunno wat 2 believe in animore.Askd him whether he realli2 wanna let mi go,he dint epli.Hmm..I'll giv him som tym 2 tink abt it.Weneva I feel dat e tym n mood is rite,I'll ring him up again.Nt nw ah.Bof of us r stil burnin wif fury.Ma phoenix is stil flyin high in e sky n burnin wif large flamez rite nw.If I were 2 msg him tml or wat,itz gonna make tingz worse..

Itz hard bt if he realli2 wanna walk awae,I wun stop him.Dherez no wae I cn,aniwae.Nevertheless,I'll try veri hard 2 change his mind.Til den,Im juz gonna chil n let tym handle evryting.Perhapz ova tym,he'll change his mind n cool dwn...

Hmmm...

2006-03-14T15:52:00.000+08:00

Been outta e hse lateli.Seen ma honey 4 5daez in a row.Hahz!Been doin Kakak's video shootin n ma honey was wif us all e wae.Dint do much lateli.Juz walkin ard n passin tym.Met ma honey again yest @ sims.Kakak dint come along cx Wati was comin ova 2 our plc.So I left hm ard 2:15pm n arrived @ sims ard 2:45pm.Ma honey came dwn n we chilld out @ blk 56,S usual.Hahz!It was juz e 2 of us bt we realli had fun,jokin ard n irritatin each oder.Muahaha!..

Saw Abg walkin.Calld out 2 him bt he dint realise it was mi.Apologized 4 nt replyin his msg e dae b4 yest.Askd him where he was headin 2.Said dat he was goin 2 sk8 @ kllg.Tol him 2 tkcr n datz it.Wel,somhw,Abg seemd so cold n distant 2wardz mi nowadaez.Dunno y,tho.Hmm...

Wel,been in contact wif Mdnoh again.Dint mean 2 msg him bt wen I switchd on ma old fone,dhere was a msg frm som1 sayin,"Hi.ngah uat pe?".Apparently,I dint hv his num.Thinkin dat he was 1 of ma frenz,I askd him hu he was n apologized cx I lost his num.Den he went lyk,"Ni Matnor bedok twn la.tk ingat pe syg?"Hmm..Since wen Mdnoh changed his num?N since wen Mdnoh's name was spelld S Matnor?Smthg juz dint seem rite abt dis person.E style of msgin is totalli diff frm e Mdnoh dat I noe..

Den I tuk e initiative 2 msg e real Mdnoh n askd him if he had a new num or smthg.2 ma surprise,he said he dint even change his num.Hmm..Den hu cud dat guy b?Den I askd e fake Matnor a qn dat onli e real Mdnoh cud ans.I askd him where we firz met n wen.I noe e real Mdnoh noez e ans 2 dat.Obviousli,dis poser went lyk,"U step tk tau je syg.I pn dh tk ingat ah."Hahz!Stop pretendin dat u don rememba wen u actualli dunno la!Wahlau eh!!..

Aniwae,Mdnoh n I were msgin each oder.Den he tol mi dat lateli,hez been dreamin of mi.Hmm..Hahz!Hez soo cute!So funni sia he!Im happi dat Mdnoh n I stil cn remain S frenz even tho we've broken up a long2 tym ago.Among all ma oder Xs,Mdnoh is e onli 1 huz stil in contact wif mi afta ormoz a yr we've broken up.Cool huh??..

Aniwae,yest I calld e fake Matnor's hp usin ma oder num.Itz a guy!I askd him hu he was n he askd mi bak hu I was.I was quiet 4 awyl,thinkin of som name 2 sae.Den suddenli he said in Malay,"Is dat Hani?Hani eh?"B4 I cud sae anitin,he hung up on mi.Obviousli,dis person recognises ma voice wel.Meanz itz som1 I noe.Hmm..Bt hu cud it b?None of ma frenz r S sick S dat.Haiz!In e firz plc,y muz he use Mdnoh's name 2 msg mi?Y Mdnoh?Meanz dat dis person noez dat I used 2 b wif Mdnoh n he noez Mdnoh's frm which skl.Hmm..Seemz lyk he noez bof of us realli wel.His voice sounded lyk Amy's.Bt cnt b wat.Amy's nt S immature S dat sia!He'll nv plae ard,pretendin hez som1 elz.Hmm..Til nw,I stil wonder hu dat person is...

Datz All Dat Eva Was...

2006-03-11T12:54:00.000+08:00

Hmm..Haven been bloggin 4 a few daez nw.Cnt seem 2 find e tym 2 go online ah.Hahz!Been bz lateli,helpin Kakak wif her video shootin.So we've been round practicalli round e whole of S'pore.Hahz!Nw Im exaggeratin.Heh!..

Cnt rememba in detail wat we did 4 e paz few daez.All I cn rememba is,we went 2 Youthpark 2 watch e sk8rz dhere n waitin 4 Abg @ e same tym,went dwn 2 kllg 2 video e sk8rz dhere,went bak 2 sims 2 mit ma honey n so on n so forth..

Wel yest,Kakak n I were supposed 2 mit Abg 4 sk8 vid.He was supposed 2 cal ard 1+ bt he dint.Instead,he calld ard 4:30pm n tol mi dat he was otw 2 sims 2 get his board n dat we were 2 mit him @ kllg.Wen I askd him wat tym he wanted us 2 c him,he said 4:30pm.I was lyk wat e hell?Isnt it 4:30pm nw??Thinkin dat ma clock was an hr fast,I askd Abg wat tym it was den.He said it was 3:30pm.I was stil puzzled.Ok den.Since he said mit an hr later,Kakak n I gt drezd.Wel,somhw Abg's clock was 1 hr late.Hahahz!..

Tuk bus no.61 2 kllg.Arrived @ Mike's shop n met Hambali cx Kakak wanted 2 borrow his cam.Saw Ayid.Itz been a long tym since I laz saw him.I tink it was b4 ma Os even started.Hahz!Dint realise dat it was soo long ago!Hahz!Wel,he dint change alot bt I heard dat he has a gerl nw.Congratz,pal!At least he smiled n nodded his head @ mi.Heh!..

Wel aniwae,Abg wasnt dhere.Where e hell is he??Shldnt he b @ kllg oreadi?Hmm..Kakak n I went 2 get chocolate waffle @ e nearby confectionary n sat under 1 of e 'pondoks' 2 indulge.Hahz!Den wen went 2 7-11 2 get a can of redbull.Stil,Abg was nowhere ard.Itz gettin dark.Seemz lyk he 'bubble' us AGAIN.Wonderd where he cud hv been.Dherez no point hangin ard.Kakak wanted 2 head ova 2 Bedok 2 film e arcade n som peepz hangin ard.So we tuk bus no.26 n headed ova 2 Bedok..

Went ard Bedok.Den som so-nt-ma-type mats were lyk callin ma name.I tot it was som1 I knew so I turnd ard.Bt it turnd out 2 b som boiz I don even noe.I 4gt dat I was wearin ma claz jersey.It bore ma name in bold @ e bak.Hahz!So datz where dey gt ma name frm.Hmm..Askd 4 ma num bt 2 bad.I wasnt intrested.Hahz!Sori boiz!I oreadi hv a boi n I don wanna get 2 noe u ppl.Hahz!So Kakak n I buggd our earz wif our mp3s n headed straight 4 e foto shop.Turnd ard n e stooges were practicalli followin us all e wae.Don u guyz get e msg dat neither of us r intrested in ani of u?Hw desperate cn u guyz b?Haiz!So we continued on,mindin our own business.Tuk a rest outsyd e jewellery shop.Tot we lost dem.Den suddenli dey appeard rite in fronta us.Haiz!Nt again!Ignored dem n pretended 2 b bz wif ma hp.Hahz!Wel,I was bz actualli,msgin ma honey.Hahz!Dey stood dhere,lukin @ us.Dint wan dem 2 approach us so Kakak n I gt up n walkd awae.Hahz!Mayb dey FINALLI gt e msg n dint '4llow' us animore..

Headed 2 e int.Dint noe where 2 go.Juz walkd where our legz brought us.Hahz!Was walkin slowli cx dhere wasnt a reason 2 b rushin.Den suddenli Kakak slappd ma shoulder.I was oreadi irritated cx she gav mi a shock.Den suddenli som1 knockd ma left shoulder.I was abt 2 flare up cx I was f***in annoyd!Turnd ard 2 glare n 2 pass som sarcastic remarkz 2 e 'culprit' n suddenli realised dat it was Penyu.Yeah!Itz Penyu.He was wif his present gerl.Haiz!..

Dey were headin ova 2 his hse.So I chatted wif him wyl waitin 4 his bus 2 come.Kakak stood quite a distance awae frm us.Penyu n I joked ard juz lyk old tymz.Askd him hw tingz were goin 4 him n e rez of e DK gang.Seemz lyk evrytingz fyn 4 dem.He askd mi hw Kakak n I was,whether we r doin fyn n he oso askd mi abt Ijal n I.Hahz!..

Tokd abt e paz n all e fun we used 2 hv 2geder.Realli gt e bof of us lafin our arses off.His gerl was obviously lost,nt knowin wat e hell we were tokin abt.Honestli,I dint lyk his gerl @ all.I noe I don usualli click wif e minahs out dhere bt @ leaz,cnt she try 2 smyl @ mi cx Im her boi's fren?I don xpect her 2 shake ma hand our smthg.Bt she dint hafta kip on starin @ mi rite?Ma gosh!She shld b thankful dat shez Penyu's gerl.If she was juz a stranger,I wud hv walkd up 2 her n askd her wat e hell is her prob n mayb paz som realli sarcastic n insultin remarkz rite in her face!!If shez a pretty gerl,nvm ah!Shez nt even near e description of 'sweet' sia!.Haiz!She doesnt even hv e body!Aiyo!Ni case prasaan cantik ah ni.Muahaha!Den y e hell is she so proud 4?She has nuttin 2 b proud of!!No offence ah bt I dunno wat Penyu sees in her sia!!..

Den dheir bus came so Penyu shook ma hand n tol mi 2 tkcr.I tol him,"No more tattoos plz,Penyu."Den dey walkd off.Kakak n I headed 2 e end of e int.Dheir bus pazd us n I waved 2 him.He waved bak.His gerl was lyk starin @ mi.Eee!If onli I cn whack her oreadi-ugly face!!..

Den S we were walkin ard e int,we bumpd into Penyu's dad.Kakak dint notice him.He was walkin straight in fronta mi.So I smyld @ him n kizd his hand.Dat was e firz tym he eva smyld @ mi sia!Hahz!..

Den ma honey tol us 2 come dwn 2 sims 2 chil wif him.So we tuk bus no.40 2 sims frm e int.Arrived @ sims ard 10:30pm.Calld him dwn n waited under his blk.He came dwn n we chilld under blk 56 again.Chilled 4 awyl n den we spotted a police car enterin.We quickly walkd off,afraid of bein screend.Den we chilld @ e playground.Ard 12:10am,Kakak n I had 2 make a move.So ma honey walkd us 2 e busstop.Tuk bus no.51 hm.Kizd ma honey gdbye n gdnite n boarded e bus...

Dedicated 2 Ma Syg...

2006-03-08T13:24:00.000+08:00

Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and you changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now,I see,what love means.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.

In my heart,in my head,it's so clear now,
Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you've rescued me somw how-.
I'm alive,I'm in love you complete me,
And I've never been here before.
Now I see,what love means.

When I think of what I have,and this chance I nearly lost,
I can't help but break down,and cry.
Ohh yeah,break down and cry.

Now I see,what love means...

-Unbelievable by Craig David

Nightmare's Ova!!...

2006-03-07T13:44:00.000+08:00

Was feelin bored yest noon wif no planz of where 2 go.Abg dint cal 4 sk8in so Kakak n I were stuck @ hm yet again wif nuttin 2 do.We went 2 e kitchen 2 cook up smthg 4 ourselves.Nw,dat was a lil fun.Heh!..

Came bak into e rm.Dunno y bt I suddenli went 2 check ma fone 4 ani msgs or calz.Yeah!2 msgs.Wonder hu it was frm.Checkd ma inbox,bof e msgs were frm ma honey!!I was a lil excited.Den I checkd e miz calz list n dhere was a miz cal frm ma honey so i calld him bak.He askd mi where was I n wat I calld him 4.I askd 2 mit him l8r in e noon @ sims ard 6pm.He said ok.I was sooo happi!Finalli Im gonna c him again n honpefulli,we cn work tingz out..

So I left hm ard 5:30pm.Kakak dint wanna come along.So I was off 2 sims drive on ma own.All e wae in e bus,ma heart was thumpin so fast!I was nervous!I dunno y I felt dat wae,tho.Hahz!..

Reachd sims drive ard 6:10pm.Waited 4 him under e blk,@ e lift lobby.Abt 10mins l8r,he came dwn wif his baby bro,Hambali.Dat lil boi is adorable,I muz sae.Somhw,he remindz mi alot of maself wen I was a toddler.Hahz!Soo adventurous n orwaez runnin ard on his own.Heh!..

Den his mum came dwn so ma honey n I,2geder wif Samad went 2 relek2 @ e bbq pit.Dey were tokin abt smthg.Dint feel lyk listenin 2 wat dey were tokin abt so I juz buggd ma earz wif ma mp3.Den Samad went bak hm 4 a lil wyl 2 bathe.Ma honey n I had all e tym 2 tok tingz thru.Somhw,I dint realli tel him wat was e prob.I tink he guezd it 4 himself.Ova tym,tingz between us was bak 2 laz tym.I was soo happi.We joked ard n I juz felt gd havin him nxt 2 mi..

Ard 11:30pm,he sent mi 2 e busstop 2 take a bus hm.Cudnt go hm dat late cx I was alone,witout Kakak.All e wae,neither of us mentioned abt wat happend e paz few daez.I mizd e firz bus cx it was a single deck.I wanted a double deck bus.Hahz!Aniwae,nt long afta,ma bus came so he juz kissd mi gdbye n he walkd hm wyl I boarded e bus..

He msgd mi wen he gt hm.Onli den did he apologise abt wat happend e paz few daez.He said dat he realli2 cudnt c mi e dae b4 yest cx he was bz n had smthg impt 2 attend 2.N dat he dint ans ma calz n msgs cx he wasnt hm n dat e fone was on silent mode n so,his mum dint notice dat it was ringin..

I apologised 2 4 yellin @ him thru SMS n sayin som harsh wordz 2 him.I mean,I dint mean 2 get angri @ him.Itz juz dat I was soo worried abt him dat I became xtremeli angri @ him.He somhw understood n dat he was e 1 2 b blamed cx if he dint do wat he did,I wudnt get mad @ him n start yellin.He promizd nt 2 repeat his mistake again..

Im juz sooo glad dat evrytingz ok.E paz few daez hv been a livin nightmare 4 mi.Im glad dat evrytingz bak 2 hw itz supposed 2 b.I hope dat Ijal n I cn continue bein 2geder 4 quite somtym...

Wun U Come Bak 2 Mi??...

2006-03-06T14:03:00.000+08:00

*Ijal n Hani:the happiness dat we used 2 hv*

Been feelin miserable e paz 72hrs.Yest,waited 4 Ijal 2 msg mi wen he gt bak frm work.Fell aslp n 4gt 2 transfer SIM card.Woke up @ 9pm n panickd,thinkin dat he myt hv been tryin 2 reach mi.Quickly changed SIM card n 2 ma disappointment,nt a single msg frm him..

Pluckd up enuf courage 2 ring him up.Gav him 6 calz frm ma fone n nt a single 1 of dem was answerd nor rejected.He juz let it ring on n on.Borrowd Mama's hp 2 cal him n it wasnt answerd either.Haiz!Where e hell is he?Sent him 2 msgs bt neither was replied.Ma heartz realli broken.Dunno wat 2 do.I felt lost,lyk S if Im drownin..

Mama said mayb dat hez nt hm.So I tuk comfort in dat.Woke up dis morn n dhere was a msg frm Ayie,nt ma boi.Sooo disappointin.Tot he shld b off 2dae.Tot of seein him 2 solve dis once n 4 all.I askd Mama 2 cal his hp cx I was afraid of callin him.Dunno y,tho.Mama said dat he switchd off his hp.N wen he does dat,hez @ work.Hmm..So Mama cald Uncle Roy's hp instead,askin 4 Ijal.Uncle Roy said dat Ijal's @ work nw n dat he cnt come 2 e fone cx hez bz.Hmm..Mayb he is bz,mayb he juz wanna avoid ma cal.Either waez,I'll nv noe.Mama tol Uncle Roy 2 tel Ijal 2 cal mi bak bt I doubt dat he wil.I mean,isnt it pretty obvious dat HEZ AVOIDIN MI?..

I cnt reach him!I dunno hw elz 2 get 2 him.Feel lyk juz goin dwn 2 sims n cal him wen Im dhere n ask him 2 come dwn.Bt wat if Im dhere oreadi n he doesnt pik up ma cal?Den I'd b waitin in vain,feelin stupid.Bt hw in e world M I supposed 2 get 2 him?Msgd Afad,Ijal's bez fren bt he dint epli ani of ma msgs.Haiz!Gosh!I realli nid som1 2 help mi get him!!..

Ma brainz messd up!Dunno wat I shld do 2 solve dis prob.2 add 2 e oreadi rotten situation,ma hp is wif him.I lent him ma oder hp so dat he cud get in contact wif mi.Bt nw,hw cn I get ma hp bak wen I cnt even get in contact wif him?!Wel,1 ting's 4 sure,I wan ma hp bak b4 Mama makez a huge fuss abt it.Haiz!..

Dhere muz b smthg or som1 dat made him turn awae frm mi.Bt I don tink dat som1 came between us.I don tink he'd do sucha ting.Mayb itz smthg.Bt wat??I cnt seem 2 b able 2 pin-point 2 smthg.Was it smthg I said dat made him turn awae,dat made him walk out n leave mi cold?I totalli hv no idea!E laz tym we met was on e dae dat Kakak,Abg n I tawnd.Bt I cnt tink of anitin dat I did or said dat nite 2 make him angri @ mi.Yeah e dae started of kinda shaky 4 Ijal n I bt we resolved e differences.We were ok afta dat,bak 2 normal.Mayb closer den eva..

I even apologised 4 sayin all e tingz I said wen I was angri @ him.He tol mi 2 4get abt it n pretend dat it nv happend.So I assumed evrytingz fyn!Bt hw cn it turn dis sour between us?Im confused!!I dunno wat 2 do,I dunno wat 2 sae.Im juz in dis alone!No1 cn help mi nw.Itz either I kip drownin in dis or surface up n do smthg abt it.Bt I totalli hv no idea wat 2 do!!...

All That I Eva Wanted...

2006-03-05T14:24:00.000+08:00

Sooo much has happend within e laz few daez.Feelingz I tot I had r suddenli fadin awae.E person I tot I loved is suddenli walkin awae.I guez I was in fantasy world wen I was wif him.Nw reality shook mi hard n Im finally awake.Im seein tingz clearly nw.Itz juz puppy love.Datz all dat ever was between us.Hw cn he walk awae nw dat I nid him more den eva??Isnt a boifren supposed 2 b dhere 4 u n support u in tymz of difficulty?Bt where is he?..

Evryting elz seemz 2 b wae more important 2 him den I m.I noe dat hez gt plenty of probz in his head rite nw.Bt I realli wanna help!I wanna b dhere 4 him!Bt hw M I 2 do dat wen hez pushin mi awae incesantly?I cnt get thru 2 him no more.Itz amazin hw a few hrs cn realli turn our rltnshp 360 degreez ard.I don rememba gettin into a fight wif him or doin or sayin smthg dat made him angri..

Mayb he juz doesnt love mi animore.Maybe he nv did,aniwae.I noe dat I loved him alot once.Bt if u were 2 ask mi nw whether I stil love him,I dunno wat 2 sae.I realli don hv e ans 2 dat animore.I dunno watz rong wif mi.Hw cn ma feelingz fade juz in an instant?Datz soo unlike mi..

I tot dat he'd b e 1 2 change mi n dat we cn work 2geder 2 create e rite rltnshp.Nw all ma drmz,ma hopez went dwn e drain 2geder wif e rltnshp dat I tot I built so wel.Smthg went rong,I noe bt I juz cnt seem 2 find wat it was dat wreckd e rltnshp.Izit som1 dat came between us or izit smthg dat made him fade into e distance??..

Wateva e ans may be,I noe 4 sure dat he aint hangin ard much longer.If we survive e whole of e nxt few daez 2geder,I tink Im considerd lucki.Haiz!Dherez stil sooo many tingz 2 b workd out between us n if we realli wan 2 b 2geder,alotta patience is nided cx solvin our probz n gluin bak e rltnshp isnt an easi task.Mayb we'll nt make it thru,mayb we wil.Hw I wish dat it wil b e latter bt somhw,smthg's tellin mi dat it wil b e former..

Ma faith in us is realli shakin rite nw.We r standin on super shaky groundz.Dunno if we'll make it thru.Even if we do,I don tink our rltnshp wil b e same S wat it used 2 b.E cloz bond we shared is destroyd.Itz pretty obvious nw.Nevertheless,I'll try 2 remain strong 4 e sake of our rltnshp,4 him,4 us.Bt dhere aint no guarantees.Im prepared 2 face e dae wen e word BREAK myt juz come out frm either of our mouths..

I don even noe y Im serious wif him.Cx no matter hu Im wif,b e guy gd or bad,ma rltnshps nv laz long.E longest mayb 2mths.Datz all.Bt usualli e rltnshps nv survive longer den a mth.I shuda seen dis comin.I shuda known betta den 2 put ma 100% into dis rltnshp.Somhw,I've broken ma own rule n nw I hafta face e music...

Semoga Cinta Kita Abadi...

2006-03-04T17:39:00.000+08:00

Kau datang bagaikan mimpi
Kau hadir daku sedari
Sekian lama ku nanti
Kau di sini

Mungkin kehendak Illahi
Segalanya ku jalani
Biar lelap tidurmu
Di pelukku

Cinta ini
Ku persembahkan
Setulus hati kasih
Kepadamu
Seandainya engkau mengerti
Hanya kau yang aku miliki
Dalam hidupku

Kasih sayang ini
Semoga abadi
Kan ku bawa sampai akhir nanti...

-Semoga Abadi by Misha Omar

Is Dis The End?...

2006-03-04T14:57:00.000+08:00

Haven been out 4 3daez in a row nw.Dunno y bt I don feel lyk goin out..

Dherez soo many tingz Ijal said 2 mi yest thru SMS dat realli2 hurt mi.He suddenli said,"B,wat if I wil leave u 1 dae?".Nw..Wat do u make out frm dat?Frm ma opinion hez lyk sayin dat he WIL leave mi 1dae.Yeah I noe dat nuttin lasts 4eva n dat gd tingz orwaez come 2 an end somhw.I wun deny e fact dat our rltnshp myt nt work out somwae or anoder.I noe dat 1dae,I'd hafta face e dae dat Ijal myt walk out on mi.Bt itz a risk Im willin 2 take..

I noe i hafta b open 2 possibilities.Bt y did he hafta sae such tingz?Doesnt he noe dat hez hurtin mi soo much?Itz lyk S if hez havin 2nd totz in e rltnshp.We've gone 2 far 2 turn bak nw.Im afraid thinkin dat he myt leave n I'd b facin anoder heartbreak again.Bt hey!I love him alot n Im willin 2 work doubly hard on our rltnshp.Bt if we stil don work out in e end,I'd b happi enuf 2 noe dat I've tried ma bez 4 us.Cnt he do e same?..

He den went on 2 sae dat all gerlz r e same,juz dat dey hv diff attitudez.Hez comparin mi 2 his Xs!Sayin dat gerlz r full of swt tok.No offence ah!Bt arent guyz e onez hu r full of swt tok?Gerlz usualli don hv e tym 2 swt tok.We get straight 2 e point n we r honest.He has known mi long enuf 2 noe ma character.Hw cn he sae dat Im e same S all his Xs?!Hey!I don busted ppl lyk hw dey busted u k?Im soo disappointed 2 hear him sae dat.I've been his gerlfren 4 more den a mth nw n we've been frenz since I was stil wif Diddy.Imagine hw long dat was!N nw hez tellin mi dat he doesnt noe mi wel enuf?Don crap ard here,boi!..

Den he said dat hez been hopin til nw dat nuttin comez between us cx he doesnt wanna lose mi n dat Im his onli 1.Hez soo contradictin!Den if he doesnt wanna lose mi,hw come hez nt puttin in alotta effort 2 make our rltnshp work out?I don undastan.Im tryin ma bez here 2 b a gd gerlfren 4 him,som1 whom he cn confide in n cn depend on 4 juz abt anitin.Bt hez juz nt havin enuf faith in mi!Hez nt lettin mi in!I noe hez afraid 2 admit dat he lovez mi cx he noez dat hu eva hez wif,e rltnshp wun last long.Hez stereo-typin here!Cnt he gimme e benefit of e doubt n stop comparin mi 2 his Xs?..

He dint even sae dat he loves mi,lyk he usualli did @ e end of e msg.Nw hez gt mi crackin.I feel super insecure rite nw.Im suddenli afraid 2 love him whole-heartedly lyk I used 2 cx somhw,I cn sense dat hez gonna leave mi SOON.I hafta bak off a lil so dat wen he finalli does walk awae,I wun feel so hurt.I nv imagined dat our rltnshp wud b on shaky groundz so soon.I dunno.Itz all up 2 him nw...

ANGER...

2006-03-03T15:15:00.000+08:00

Awoken by Charm's cal dis morn.Tol mi dat she dint get e course she wanted.Tol mi 2 go check ma postin resultz.Guez wat I gt?Ma 5th choice!Damn e asses!MEDIA STUDIES N MANAGEMENT @ NYP.Nt e course dat I wanted.Dint get ani of ma tourism courses.Super pissd off!Started yellin n cursin earli in e morn.Found out dat many of ma frenz dint get dheir firz choice 2.Haiz!Watz happenin here?..

Tired of gettin angri,I went bak 2 slp.Woke up again wen Mama was goin off 2 work n went bak 2 slp again.Felt so lazi.Dint feel lyk wakin up bt forced maself 2 cx I tot we were supposed 2 go dwn 2 kllg 2 film dem sk8in again.APPARENTLY,dhere were som changes of plans which I wasnt informd of til afta I tied ma hair.*rollz eyez*..

Kakak was on e fone,chattin happily 2 som1 on e oder lyn.I assumed dat it was Abg cx if nt,Kakak wudnt b soo happi n entertaind..

Den I heard Kakak sayin "bt monay ijal off,u noe... Haha... Watz rong between e 2 of u?".Frm dhere I cn tel dat Abg said smthg abt Ijal.Hey nt dat Im angri or wat la.Ppl hv dheir own opinionz of each oder rite?Bt e prob is,I've been hearin 2 many negative stuffs abt Ijal frm Abg.I kinda don appreciate it..

Abg,if Ijal wasnt a gd boi 4 mi,u wudnt hv given him ma num cx u promizd mi long tym ago dat u'd find mi a gd guy.Den wen u were stil workin wif him,u encouraged mi 2 kip in contact wif Ijal wen u knew dat I was stil wif Diddy @ dat tym.Nw dat Im wif Ijal,ur tellin mi all e stuffs abt him,hw much u don lyk bein ard him,blah3..

Im tryin ma bez here 2 work tingz out between Ijal n I.I'd veri much appreciate it if u juz kip mum abt evryting n juz let mi b wif Ijal.It hurtz mi soo much 2 hear u sae dhose stuffs cx if u havent noticed,Im e 1 huz affected here.Nw e 4 of us cnt hang out 2geder cx u apparently cnt get along wif him.Itz difficult 4 mi.I don wanna hafta chooz between either of u.It seemz dat u dislyk hu eva Im wif.Y?I don get it.U used 2 hate Diddy soo much,pesterin mi 2 break up wif him.Plz don do it again dis tym..

Hw M I supposed 2 set asyd tym 4 u n den 4 Ijal?Im soo stressd up rite nw.Yall xpect mi 2 b dhere 4 yall ALL e tym.N datz exactli y yall hate mi havin a boi rite?Cx den,I cnt b wif yall evrytym.Don tel mi cx of dis,I cnt hv a boi?Gosh!Dis is insane!I dunno wat elz 2 do.Bt 1 tingz 4 sure,Im nt gonna giv up on ma rltnshp wif Ijal juz cx of wat u tink abt him.I wanna make it work out between us n even if we do break up 1 dae,I don wan it 2 b cx of u...

A Dae Wif Mixd Feelingz...

2006-03-03T01:47:00.000+08:00

Woke up ard 2+pm.Kakak had oreadi left 4 skl in e morn.Sent Mama 2 e door den I went straight 2 bathe.Stayd on e comp,editin ma frenster n stuffs.Den Kakak gt bak nt long afta dat.Had ma lunch n den suddenli Abg Hafiz msgd.He tol us 2 come dwn 2 Changi 2 fetch him den accompani him go sk8in cx Kakak wanted 2 shoot a vid of e Kllg Sk8rz 4 her Grad Project..

So I gt drezd n we left hm ard 5:30pm.Tuk bus no.59 all e wae 2 Changi Village.Met Abg dhere den we tuk bus no.2 all e wae 2 Aljunied.Alighted n walkd all e wae 2 Sims cx Abg had 2 go take his sk8board frm his fren's plc.E journey 2 Aljunied was a rather long 1 n ma bladder was darn full!I had 2 visit e toilet urgentli!Hahz!So cx of mi,all e 3 of us had 2 stop by dis veri old coffeeshop.Ma gosh!E toilet was disgustin bt I had no choice..

So afta dat,we walkd 2 Sims.Waited @ e busstop wyl Abg went 2 his fren's plc.Tuk bus no.64 all e wae 2 kllg.Itz been mths since Kakak n I stepd foot into dat plc.Evrytingz stil e same.Nt many changes except 4 a lil upgradin here n dhere..

Went staright 2 Mike's Shop 2 shoot Abg n e rez of e kllg crew sk8in.Was supposed 2 mit ma honey ard 8:45pm @ Sims bt I tol him dat I was gonna b a lil late cx I was stil @ kllg filmin dem.He seemd pissd off @ mi n all he said was "Suke ati u arh".Haiz!Hey!@ leaz I did tel u beforehand dat I was gonna b late wat.Watz e biggy nw?Y u pissd off 4 aniwae?I calld his hp bt his mum answerd ma cal n said dat he went dwnstairz.Hmm..Dat realli gt mi crackin.Bt Kakak tol mi nt 2 tink 2 much so I juz dismizd e tot..

Was supposed 2 mit him 2 lend him ma 2nd hp cx his sis wanted 2 borrow his hp 4 a few daez n he wun b able 2 contact mi.Den suddenli he msgd sayin dat he doesnt wanna borrow ma hp.I gt totalli fed-up n borrowd Kakak's fone 2 cal him.He dint even sae "Hello".He dint even sound lyk S if he wanted 2 tok 2 mi.He realli gt mi pissd off dhere.Tol him dat I was makin a move frm kllg 2 c him..

Den wen on ma wae dhere,oreadi in e bus,he msgd sayin dat I dint hafta come dwn 2 c him.Ma blood rushd up 2 ma brain.He doesnt xpect mi 2 turn bak rite?!Piece of shit!So I juz continued on wif e journey.Calld him wen I've reachd e lift lobby.He came dwn.Stood in fronta mi n walkd all e wae in fronta mi,nt sayin anitin.So I occupied maself wif ma hp.Thank God Kakak calld so I had compani 4 a few mins..

Hung up on Kakak.Turnd 2 luk @ him,sittin nxt 2 mi.Askd him watz e matter bt he dint answer.So I gt e msg dat he dint wanna tok.Minded ma own business n turnd awae,njoyin e wind..

Nt long afta,e silence between us seemd 2 b killin mi.Stood up in fronta him,grabbd his chin n askd him,"Do u wanna tok or don u?If u don feel lyk tokin,u cn go bak up 2 ur plc n I cn make ma wae bak 2 kllg.Quick!Don waste ma tym here.Buang current aku je trn umpe ko kalo ko tknk bobal ngan aku."Stil,he kept quiet.Man!Was I pissd!He was realli testin ma patience sia!So I said,"If u realli get mi pissd off 2nite,Im juz gonna walk off,leavin u here n u cn drm off eva seein or hearin frm mi again."In oder wordz,I was askin 4 a break up.I was shockd @ maself 4 sayin such tingz.I dint mean it,seriousli.Itz juz in ma nature 2 sae tingz which I myt regret wen Im angri @ dat person.He suddenli lukd up @ mi,wide-eyed.I knew dat he was shockd hearin dhose wordz comin out frm ma mouf..

Bt ma pride n ego was ova-powerin mi.Den I said,"Chooz between dis 2 optionz.Change ur god damn attitude RITE NW n evryting wil work out fyn between us or stae e wae u r nw n lose mi."Yeap2!Anoder smthg I said dat I regretted sayin.Gosh Hani!Watz e matter wif u!Felt lyk bangin ma head on e wall sia!Bof were raisin dheir voices @ each oder.Our voices pierced thru e silent of e nite.Apologies 2 e residentz dhere..

Afta much argument,evryting was settled.I coold dwn n he was able 2 make mi stae.So we went 2 chil under blk 56.So glad dat evrytingz ova!It was lyk a livin nightmare 4 mi.Itz ma firz tym havin sucha huge argument wif him..

Waited 4 Kakak n Abg 2 arrive.Dey were stil @ kllg wen I left.Mi n ma honey under e blk wyl Kakak n Abg were sittin @ e bbq pit.Den ma honey n I went 2 join dem.Dint feel lyk goin hm so Kakak calld Mama 2 tel her dat we were gonna spend e nite out.She agreed so we continued 2 chil..

Ard 2:45am,ma honey wanted 2 go up n slp cx e nxt dae he was workin.Walkd him 2 e lift n gav him his Gdnite cum Gdbye kiss n watchd him walk into e lift..

Went 2 join Kakak n Abg.Den e 3 of us went 2 adventure @ Boon Keng.Seriousli,e plc was freaky in e wee hours of e mornin.Walkd all e wae 2 kllg n had som drinks @ som 24-hr coffeeshop dhere.Den ard 5:05am,we made a move n walkd all e wae bak 2 Sims.We had alotta fun,crackin jokez n gettin fascinated by snakes.Seriousli,in e 16yrs of ma lyf,yest was e firz tym dat I eva saw snakes face 2 face!Hahz!..

Walkd 2 e busstop @ geyalng lor 21A n tuk bus no.2 hm.Kakak n I alighted @ Eunos MRT wyl Abg continued on wif his trip 2 Changi..

Had a real long bt fun dae out... *winkz*

Finalli.. An Anniversary!!...

2006-02-28T17:05:00.000+08:00

HaPpi 1mth AnNiVeRsArY,bAbY!!!.. Yupp2!2dae's ma 1mth anniversary wif ma baby Ijal.Heez!Love him lotz!..

So yest I met up wif ma honey @ Sims since he was off frm work.Went dwn 2 mit him under his blk @ ard 2:30pm.I tink I was a few mins late again.Hahz!Hey!It wasnt ma fault.E bus tuk ages 2 come!Hahz!Kakak dint come along cx she had 2 go ova 2 Bdok 2 mit Penyu n she wanted 2 get smthg frm e interchange,aniwae.So 4 e firz tym yest,I had 2 mit honey alone n kakak had 2 mit Penyu alone.Hmm..Wel,luckily tingz went fyn 4 bof partiez..

So ma honey n I juz walkd ard e estate.I was supposed 2 wait 4 kakak's cal.We were supposed 2 go ova 2 YouthPark 2 film e kllg skate crew sk8in..

Juz chilld under blk 56 wif ma honey.Joked ard n I was punchin him S orwaez.Hahz!He kept on pesterin mi 2 ask kakak 2 come ova quick.Haiz!It seemz dat kakak n Ijal cnt live witout each oder.Dey love 2 gang up against mi n bully mi,u noe!Hahz!So funni!..

Aniwae,Hafiz calld 2 cancel on yesterdae's filmin cx he cudnt make it.Kakak came ova 2 Sims ard 6+ in e noon.Met under blk 56.Chilld 4 awyl den e 3 of us felt hungri.So we walkd 2 e nearest McDonalds @ Aljunied.Dint feel lyk eatin coffeseshop fud..

Came bak 2 Sims ard 7+ comin 2 8 lidat. Ma honey went up 2 his plc firz 2 get cigarettes den e 3 of us walkd 2 Aljunied MRT cx kakak wanted 2 get smthg frm 7-11 n I nided 2 top-up ma ez-link card..

Upon reachin Sims again,e 3 of us chilld under blk 56 again.Seemz 2 b our fav hangout.Hahz!Enjoid e wind dhere.Kakak was bz msgin som peepz wyl ma honey n I were bz irritatin each oder.Muahaha!Den suddenli kakak had a cravin 4 Chupa Chups.Hahz!So we walkd 2 e provision shop 2 get 3 sticks of lollipops.Hahz!..

Chilld @ e seatz near e playground @ blk 55.Ma honey fell aslp on ma shoulder.Hahz!Hw cute!Den his fren came ova 2 chat wif him..

Nt long afta,we had 2 make a move.Dat was ard 12:30am.Gave ma honey a copy of ma pic wif him.He cudnt stop starin @ it.Heh!Huggd him gdbye n kakak n I boarded e bus..

Missin ma honey lotz rite nw.Haiz!Bt 1 ting's 4 sure,I love him sooooo much!Glad dat we made it 1mth 2geder.Hw tym fliez!Hahz!Hope dhere r many more anniversaries 2 come 4 us 2 celebrate 2GEDER...

I Juz Don Fit In Animore...

2006-02-26T14:52:00.000+08:00

Dint mit up wif ma honey yest.He was workin aniwae.Kakak left hm ard 4:30pm 2 mit Wati 2 return her vid cam.I stayd hm cx I was feelin lazi.Went on e comp bt I gt bored soon afta.Hahz!So kakak tol mi 2 mit her @ Bdok 2 hang out wif Penyu..

Left hm ard 6:30pm.Otw out 2 e busstop,met Firdaus,1 of e takraw boiz here.So we chatted n he tol mi smthg veri2 intrestin.He walkd mi 2 e busstop n watchd mi get up e bus.Hahz!Thx 4 accompanyin mi,pal!Hurhur..

So I met kakak @ e fb,S usual.Went 2 e foto shop 2 get ma pic wif ma honey printed out.Den e 2 of us walkd all e wae 2 Penyu's blk frm e int..

Felt a lil weird walkin ard Bdok.Dint feel lyk S if I belong dhere animore.Nuttin's changed bt e atmosphere seemd so cold n un-welcomin.Kinda regret steppin foot into dat plc again.Nv tot dat I'd b dhere again afta kakak n Penyu split up..

Aniwae,walkd thru His blk 2 get 2 Penyu's blk.Mizd e old tymz we used 2 spend chit chattin under His blk wif Him n e rest of e gang.Felt sooo sad suddenli.Bt I juz ignored ma feelingz cx I noe I hv a boi oreadi.Closed ma eyez n juz dismissd e tot.Walkd ova 2 Penyu's plc..

Wen we arrived,he was sprayin his skim board.So we juz hung ard @ e staircase,kippin him compani.We joked ard n I helpd wif e paintin of his board..

Den kakak went dwnstairs,4 god noes wat.She bumpd into His gerl!She calld mi n I rushd dwn.Wanted soo much 2 c His gerl.I noe her,actualli.Came up frm bhynd her 2 sae Hi.A part of mi juz wantz 2 slap her face cx til 2dae,Im stil soo angri @ her 4 comin between mi n Him.Bt I managed 2 control maself.Cx I knew if I did slap her face,He wil hv ma head n I dint wan Him n I 2 b enemies.She said she was mittin Him!Dat part realli gt ma blood rushin 2 ma brain.I used 2 love Him n He used 2 love mi.Im supposed 2 mit Him,nt u!Hey bitch!If onli u knew e whole truth!U'd betta b thankful 4 ma oh-so-kind heart.Oderwise,I cn wreck ur rltnhsp wif Him anitym.Betta don get onto ma nerves or u'll wave Him gdbye soon.Cudnt stik ard ani longer cx ma eyes were all fiery oreadi.Cnt stand her face!Dint wanna argue wif her.Had 2 put on e moz plastic smyl I had n tol her dat I had 2 go.Insyd mi,I was cursin her lyk shit!She tuk Him awae frm mi!Daughter of a gun!..

K2.Letz put dat asyd.Went bak up 2 Penyu's plc.Penyu calld Him.Penyu put Him on loudspeaker.Oarh!I mizd His voice soo much!I beggd Penyu 2 let mi tok 2 Him bt he dint allow.Haiz!Nt long afta,kakak n I left 4 hm..

Den dis stupid prob came up.Cx of smthg I said,Hez lukin 4 mi.Penyu tol mi 2 cal Him wen I reachd hm.Bt I cnt cal!L8r ma bil 'poof!'.So I juz msgd Him.Dis tym,Hez usin "engkau" n "aku" wif mi.Felt soo sad.Nv did he tok 2 mi dat wae.So I juz 4llowd suit ah.Go wif e flow.Bt I managed 2 settle e prob wif Him.So evrytingz fyn nw.Thank God!..

O ya!He tol Penyu dat He saw mi n kakak wif ma honey @ Grandlink.So dat dae was Him la!I dint mistaken Him.He was lyk,"Hani dh de jantan aru ah".Y did He care if I hv a new guy anot?I mean,He oreadi has a new gerl rite?I heard dat He loves her alot n dat dheir rltnshp is lyk super glue,u noe.So strong..

I regret soo much 4 steppin into Bdok again.I promizd maself dat I wun go bak dhere bt I juz did!Haiz!Bdok onli remindz mi of Him n e happi tymz we used 2 share S a grp.Bdok holdz alotta memories 4 mi.Swt onez,dat is.Datz y it hurtz mi soo much wen I tink abt it.Itz amazin hw so many tingz changed ova a short period of tym.E ppl I tot I knew soo wel,hv changed soo much!I feel lyk S if I dunno dem animore.Itz sad.All e 6 of us r headin 2wardz our own separate paths.Dis is e shortest frenship I've eva had.We shared soo much 2geder S frenz n nw itz all gone.Im trippin ova Him again.I miz Him soo much!I hate dis kinda feelin cx I noe Im nt supposed 2 feel dis wae.I hv Ijal n I MUST concentrate on him,on us.I cnt throw awae ma rltnhsp wif Ijal juz cx of Him.Itz nt worth it.Nevertheless,I'll continue 2 pray dat 1 dae He'll c dat I truly love Him.He'll orwaez hv a special plc in ma heart.Destiny calls n Im forced 2 take on a separate path.Bt S I move on,I'll orwaez luk bak evry 5mins 2 check if Hez doin fyn.N Im willin 2 run all e wae bak 2 rescue Him if dherez a nid 2...

Cn It Get Ani Crazier?...

2006-02-25T16:56:00.000+08:00

Hey!Check out e date!Itz e 25th!If Diddy n I were stil 2geder,we wud b celebratin our 8th mth anniversary 2dae.*sobz*..

Aniwae,went out 2 mit ma honey yest noon.Dint intend 2 mit up wif him,actualli.Was supposed 2 accompani kakak 2 mit Sufiyan,her fren @ tampines ard 12:30pm bt he came ova 2 our plc instead so e plan was canceld..

Was gettin bored @ hm wif nuttin 2 do wen suddenli ma honey msgd mi,askin mi 2 mit up wif him.Apparently,he tuk an off dae yesterdae.Kakak wanted 2 mit Wati @ her plc cx kakak wanted 2 borrow Wati's vid cam.So we went 2 fetch ma honey @ sims n den e 3 of us headed 2 tamp via MRT..

Tuk bus no.18 frm e interchange 2 Wati's plc.Gt lost dhere!Hahz!Kakak tot dat we were supposed 2 alight @ e 4th busstop wen we were supposed 2 alight AFTA e 4th busstop.C e difference?Muahaha!So we all had 2 walk 2 e nxt busstop which was quite far awae.Hahz!Upon reachin e busstop,Wati tol us 2 walk 2 her blk..

So we had 2 luk 4 her blk.E plc lukz kinda weird wif e blk numberz all jumbled up.Afta a 15 or 20 min walk,we reachd her blk.Dat was wen I realised dat we had walkd 1 whole big round ard e estate!Muahaha!Wen we cuda walkd straight frm e bridge where we came frm.Sooo funni sia!I was soo draind off ma energy.Felt so dehydrated n all sweaty.Eww!..

Found her plc n kakak went in wyl I sat @ e staircase 2 accomopani ma honey.Waited 4 kakak 4 quite awyl.Ma honey was bz smokin wyl I was bz gettin bored..

Den finally Wati n kakak came out.We tuk a slow stroll 2 e bridge again.Kakak,ma honey n I tuk bus no. 28 bak 2 e int.Den we went 2 eat @ LJS.Afta dat,went 2 get a cassette 4 e vid cam.We dint noe where 2 go.Kakak had 2 film som stuff so we decided 2 head ova 2 City Hall..

Tuk bus no. 10 frm e int.Was a rather long ryd 2 Suntec.I was soo slpy.Arrived @ Suntec ard 8pm.Headed 4 e toilet.Den we walkd ova 2 Peninsula Plaza.Walkd ard 4 awyl,lukin @ intrestin stuffs in e shops den we headed 2 Esplanade.E environment was sooo romantic sia!Hahz!Kakak cudnt find anitin newsworthy dhere so we headed 4 Marina Square..

Went into Mac 2 get som drinks n 2 take a rez.All of us were feelin tired.Den we tuk bus no. 70 bak 2 sims.Had 2 walk thru geylang lor. 12 n I saw realli intrestin stuffs dhere.I shant describe in detail here.Hahz!It was kinda amusin 4 mi cx it was ma firz tym walkin thru dat plc n seein all dhose stuffs..

Finalli arrived @ sims.Ma honey went up 2 his plc 2 get som cigarettes wyl kakak n I waited dwnstairs.Den we headed 4 blk 56,which is our fav hangout.E wind dhere is super shiok!Heh!Chilld dhere wyl kakak was bz tokin on e fone wif soo many diff ppl.Hahz!..

Ard 12:10am,we tuk a slow stroll 2 e busstop,nt wantin 2 miz e laz bus.Den ard 12:44am,our bus came so I waved ma honey gdbye..

Reachd hm n ma honey was msgin mi all e wae.He went 2 slp firz.Nt long afta,I dozed off 2.Was a real tirin dae 4 all of us.Esp e 'gettin lost' part.Muahaha!...

I Hope Dis Wil Last 4eva...

2006-02-24T02:01:00.000+08:00

Somtymz,I wonder 2 maself.. Cn Ijal n I last long 2geder?I noe many of ma frenz hu hv been in a rltnshp wif dheir bfs or gfs 4 sooo many 'donkey' yearz.So a long-term rltnshp realli isnt impossible @ all.4 dem,dat is.Bt 4 mi,I totalli hv no idea.Ma longest rltnshp dint even last 4 a yr n dat was 2 or 3 yrz bak..

2 ppl hu knew mi throughout secondary skl lyf,yall noe hu I was wif.2 dhose hu dunno,I'll juz refer 2 him as J in ma post here..

I orwaez wanted a long-term rltnshp.I tot I wud hit @ least e 1-yr mark wif J.We were realli happi 2geder.Nt onli was he ma boi bt he was ma bestest fren!We wud go 2 e MP library evrydae afta skl 2 studi n wud onli head hm ard 9pm.We grew up 2geder n we faced many ups n dwns 2geder.Nv did I anticipate dat Hari Raya Puasa 2004 wud b e dae I've been dreadin e moz.Yes!J askd 4 a break-up.God noez y.Haiz!..

Since den,I nv found a guy S gd S J.All e guyz I've been wif were matreps.Been in n outta rltnshps sooo many tymz,I cnt even count.Been breakin up wif 1,patchin up wif anoder,breakin up again,findin anoder guy.Blah3!U get e picture rite?..

I orwaez hope n prae dat I'd get into a long-term rltnshp.Dunno y bt it has orwaez been ma drm.I c ma frenz celebratin dheir 1yr or 2yr anniversaries wif dheir boo.Mi?Im celebratin ma 1 MONTH anniversary!Wth!I juz wanna b able 2 tel som1 dat I've been wif som1 4 __yrs.Nt mths!..

Been thru 4 faild rltnshps dis paz 3yrz.Don wish 2 b in anoder..

Finalli 2006 brought mi Ijal.Was wif him on 28 Jan,which was oso ma mum's bdae.Cute huh?Heh!Ijal n I cn get along veri2 wel.Hez soo much lyk J except dat hez wae more matured.Allah has brought mi a fantastic guy n I thank Him alot 4 dat.Itz lyk a drm come tru on ma part.Nw Im prayin dat Ijal n I cn make it thru 1yr 2geder.Which meanz,ma mum's nxt bdae wud b our 1YEAR anniversary.Datz all I wan 4 us rite nw.I hope dat we cn overcome all obstacles along e wae.I juz wan e happiness we bof hv in e rltnshp rite nw 2 stae n perhapz,along e wae,our bond wil b stronger..

I feel lyk Im askin 4 2 much @ once.Bt gosh!I juz wan a perfect rltnshp n I hope dat ma rltnshp wif Ijal rite nw wil b THE 1...

*Love is nt abt findin e rite person,bt creatin e rite rltnshp.Itz nt hw much love u hv in e beginnin bt hw much love u build til e end...*

Our Crazee Escapade...

2006-02-23T15:46:00.000+08:00

Went 2 Parkwae 2 walk ard wif kakak.Wanted 2 pass e tym cx we were onli mittin ma honey @ 8:45pm.So kakak n I went 2 get som stuffs @ Chamelon n den we went 2 buy our favourite bubble tea.Tuk a slow stroll 2 e busstop bhynd roxy square.Along e wae,camwhorin S usual.Heh!..

Bumpd into Wee Yong.Is dat hw u spell his name?Aniwae,dint notice dat it was him walkin bhynd us all e wae @ bridge n into roxy square.Dint even recognize dat it was him!He changed alot sia!Betta lukin nw.Heh!Turnd ard n lukd @ him den he stared @ mi.Gt a lil pissd off n juz gav him dat luk n turnd awae.Buggd ma earz wif ma mp3.Den suddenli kakak went lyk "Eh!Hi!".So I turnd ard.Wee Yong said Hi 2 mi.Bt I went lyk "Huz dat?".He went dwn e escalator n den I realised dat itz Wee Yong!Argh!Felt soo bad 4 juz starin @ him wif e dao luk.So I shouted frm upstairs,"Hi Wee Yong!".Dunno if he heard mi cx he was on e fone.Haiz!Aniwae,Wee Yong,if u happen 2 read dis,Im sooo sori.Heh!Dint recognize u la.Paiseh2!..

So we walkd 2 e busstop.Camwhored again wyl waitin 4 e bus.Den suddenli ma honey calld askin mi where we were.Den I realized dat we were late.Oopz!Hahz!Boarded e bus n we were on our wae 2 Sims Drive 2 mit ma sweetiepie!..

Calld him wen we arrived.Den e 3 of us headed 4 Grandlink cx he wanted 2 plae CS wif his fren.Tuk bus no. 155 2 Singpost n we had 2 walk all e wae 2 Grandlink.Itz quite a distance ah bt it felt lyk miles awae 4 mi cx I realli nided 2 visit e toilet.Felt so uncomfortable all e wae.Felt lyk heaven sia wen we finalli reachd Grandlink n enterd e toilet!Hahz!..

So kakak n I accompanied dem playin CS.We dint feel lyk playin so we juz watchd dem plae.Saw a grp of mats enter n 1 of dem lukd sooo much lyk Amy sia!Ma heart was in ma throat 4 awyl.Hahz!..

We left Grandlink ard 11pm.Tuk bus no. 40 bak 2 Sims Drive.We bought fud @ e coffeeshop.Tuk a few pics wif ma honey wyl waitin 4 e fud 2 b prepared.Den e 3 of us headed 2 som void deck 2 indulge in our fud.Heh!..

Saw a police car parkd @ e carpark.All of us panickd.I panickd cx I dint wan a letter 2 reach ma parenz,ma dad esp,tellin dem of ma whereabouts.E rulin is such nw,esp 4 kids lyk mi hu r stil under e age of 17.HaizNt onli wil dey screen u bt dey wil send a letter 2 ur parenz in a few daez tym.Datz wat I hate.Aniwae,ma honey started 2 panick cx he 4gt 2 bring his IC.Kakak orwaez hated gettin screend.So each of us were feelin insecure.Den suddenli e lift door open n out came 2 police officers!Oh shit!Ma heart was in ma throat!I turnd ma bak 2 dem.Dey lukd @ us n juz walkd awae.THANK GOD!Mayb dey tot dat we were waitin 4 e lift 2 go hm.Heh!..

Wif e police officers gone,we headed 4 blk 56 2 eat.Den we went bak 2 e coffeeshop 2 get drinks n tuk a slow stroll 2 e busstop.Tuk e last bus no. 51 bak hm.Waved ma honey gdbye n off we went..

Missin him lotz oreadi.Heh!Hope 2 c him again soon.Mayb dis wkend,mayb nxt Mondae.Nt sure yetz.Smthg abt ma honey makez mi trust him alot.E rltnshp dat Im havin nw is somwat lyk e rltnshp I had wif Joe yearz bak.Dherez soo much trust in dis rltnshp n bof parties r happi.We entertain each oder wif our own craziness.Heh!Dis is e kinda rltnshp dat I've been lukin 4,4 a long2 tym since Joe n I broke up.Finalli,Allah has answerd ma prayers.Amin!...

Love Ma Honey Bunny!...

2006-02-22T02:40:00.000+08:00

Went 2 mit ma sweetiepie @ sims juz nw wif kakak.Went 2 Aljunied MRT 2 get smthg frm Cheers n tuk a slow stroll 2 sims drive cx he wanted 2 bathe firz.He juz came bak frm work,u c.We occupied e tym by camwhorin under e blks..

Den went 2 "preet!" him out.He came dwn shortli.Smellin gd,S usual!Hmph!Hey!Im supposed 2 smell betta den him,nt e oder wae round!Wel,aniwae,we chilld under e blk.S usual,Im makin e moz noiz.Hahz!E 2 of dem r sooo quiet dat I felt S if I was crazee.Muahaha!He kept on starin rite into ma face seh!Made mi feel soo awkward n uncomfy..

Den we walkd ard e estate.Gt som drinks n went 2 chil out @ e playground.He was sittin nxt 2 mi.Heh!..

Den kakak n I had 2 make a move cx we were afraid 2 miz e laz bus AGAIN.Heez!He walkd us dhere.It was e firz tym eva dat he held ma hand.Yeeha!Sooo cute seh!Bt stil,we were feelin a lil awkward.He ormoz slipd.Sooo funni dat I cnt help bt laf.Muahaha!Im soo mean,I noe..

Aniwae,Im mittin him again l8r.Cnt seem 2 get enuf of each oder huh?Missin him oreadi.Love him lotz!Hahz!K.Gtg nw.Til nxt tym!Toddlez!...

Am I Doin The Rite Ting?...

2006-02-20T14:26:00.000+08:00

Haven been goin out 4 e past 2 n a half daez since we gt hm frm e tawn nite.Haiz!Missin ma honey loadz.He callz n msgs mi ocassionalli.He msgd mi yest sayin dat he misses mi soo damn much.I noe dat 2dae is his off dae n dat he juz gt his pae.Den hw come he dint ask mi out?Hmm..Dat realli pisses mi off sia!I cn onli c him once a wk cx hez workin.Nw he dint even ask mi out on his off dae!Wth..

So here I go again,blabberin abt boiz.Dis is e exact reason y I don wanna b attachd 2 som1 or even love som1.Cx wen I love dat som1,I tend 2 b sooo into him dat ma world is juz abt him.I DON LYK DAT!..

Yeah I noe som ppl myt sae dat life witout love is borin.Bt 2 mi,I'd rather b witout love.All I nid is love frm ma dearez family n frenz.Nuttin more den dat.Cx fallin in love wif som guy onli bringz alotta disappointmentz.I don wanna go thru all dat again..

Somtymz Im askin maself,hw come Im sooo into Ijal.Hw come I accepted him?Hmm..I don even hv e answers 2 dat.I noe hez a real nice guy n he lovez mi 4 hu I m.He doesnt even try 2 change mi a single bit.He doesnt hv a prob wif e wae I drez n he doesnt hv a prob wif ma childish attitude.He doesnt even get angri wif mi.Datz e part dat I realli2 lyk abt him.Cx nt all guyz r dat patient.I wanna b wif him n hope dat our rltnshp wil last long.Bt Im sooo afraid 2 face all e setbacks n disappointmentz along e wae.I've had enuf of dhose..

Aniwae,I wil nv undastan y He did e tingz He did.I've askd som of ma guy frenz 2 evaluate His character n y He did dis n dat.Dey tol mi dat He loves mi alot,datz y.Certain partz of it,I do believe.Bt moz of it,I tink itz bullshit!Cx hw cn som1 hv e heart 2 do smthg,knowin dat his beloved 1 wil b hurt wen she findz out abt it rite?He doesnt love mi enuf la.Datz all I hafta sae.Cx if He realli did love mi S much S ma frenz tot He did,He wud hv tot ova it twice or thrice b4 doin it.Case closed.Im done n ova wif Him.I gotta move on frm here n Im takin e firz step.I noe hez wif his new gerl oreadi.So I juz gotta wave Him gdbye frm afar n walk awae.Hopefulli,dis tym,I wun turn bak.Hopefulli His new gerl,I shant name hu,cn tkcr of Him wel...

Wat A Blast Of A Tym!...

2006-02-19T02:49:00.000+08:00

Dint blog 4 quite awyl oreadi.Been bz wif stuffs.Nw here's an update of e paz few daez I've mizd..

15th Feb:
Dint plan 2 go out.Woke up S usual.Went online 4 awyl.Chat wif ma dearest Charm on MSN.Miz her lotz!

Den suddenli ma fone rang.ABF HAFIZ calld!I was kinda shockd ah.Dint xpect him 2 cal afta nt bein in contact 4 a few wkz.Or shld I sae mthz?Hmm..Nt 2 sure maself.Aniwae,I askd if we cud go dwn 2 mit him.He said ok.So I woke kakak up n she went straight 2 e toilet 2 bathe.Den we had our lunch @ hm n went 2 drez up.Tuk bus no 59 straight 2 Changi Village 2 mit Hafiz.We were supposed 2 mit him ard 5pm.Tink we were a lil late ah.Typical of us,tho.Hahz!..

Was in e bus.It was a rather long ride dhere.Kakak n I bof stuffd our earz wif mp3.Den suddenli Penyu calld.Kakak n him had an argument,S usual.*rollz eyez*Penyu was all flared up cx kakak was goin 2 mit Hafiz.Hello!We r juz mittin Hafiz wat.No biggy.Hez in trouble here n we wanna help.Y r u stoppin us seh?I noe ur jealous,Penyu n I wun balme u 4 dat.I noe hw it feelz bt chil la!Im dhere wif ma sis wat.Wat cud possibly happen seh?Haiz!Cnt u trust mi @ leaz a lil?Hmm..I was so pissd off dat I was raisin ma voice in e bus.Ma red bull is emergin out frm ma bodi oreadi.Sooo pissd off!..

K.Dat we put asyd k?Gt dwn frm e bus n met Hafiz @ e busstop.We chilld @ e basketball court.Itz been a long tym since we met n he kinda changed a lil ah.We chatted S usual n he was irritatin mi S per normal.Mizd e old tymz!..

Den we went 2 get som fud @ e hawker centre.Ijal msgd mi wantin mi 2 go dwn 2 Simz drive 2 c him.He wanted mi 2 ask Hafiz along cx itz been a long tym since he saw Hafiz 2.Dey used 2 work 2geder,u c.Hafiz refused 2 go dwn 2 sims drive bt in e end,he did.Yay!So we tuk bus no 2 all e wae 2 sims drive..

I was nervous ah.Ma firz tym mittin ma honey.Dunno if we cn get along anot.Lucki ma fren calld so I wasnt sooo nervous.Nt long afta,Ijal came dwn.He smelld gd n he was kinda cool ah.Wif bling2 earringz n all.Hez soo ma type of guy!Heez!Chilld 4 awyl den kakak,Hafiz n I tuk e bus hm.Had a real fun dae out!..

16th Feb:
Met Penyu @ fb ard 1:45pm.Den e 3 of us headed 2 Sentosa in bus 30.Penyu was stil fed-up wif kakak.Haiz!Finalli persuaded him 2 tok 2 her.I stuffd ma earz wif mp3 all e wae.Dint wanna hear dem yellin..

Walkd along Palawan Beach 2 Billabong.All e wae,kakak n Penyu were arguin.Haiz!No commentz,realli.Juz e norm between dem.2 b honest,dheir rltnshp is oreadi broken beyond repair ah.I cnt help dem out animore.So I juz minded ma own business.Was in ma own world.Den e 2 of dem realli2 argued.Dis tym,Penyu flung his hp in e air n walkd off.I was juz sittin dhere lukin @ e drama.Haiz!Nt long afta,he came bak 2 take smthg frm mi n walkd off n came bak again.Haiz!..

He wanted us 2 go 2 e tower cx he wanted 2 sort tingz out wif kakak.So I juz taggd along.Went 2 e top of e tower alone 2 snap som picx n I cn hear kakak yellin frm dwnstairz.Haiz!Came dwn n dey were stil arguin.Frankly,I was pissd off.E argument seemd 2 last a lyftym.Haiz!He persuaded us 2 leave him dhere alone.So we walkd off.Turnd ard,n dhere he was runnin afta us.Haiz!NT AGAIN!Anoder drama in e makin.Haiz!Afta much tok,we left witout him.Waited 4 e shuttle bus n he suddenli emerged.He pretended he dint noe us.We juz stuffd our earz wif mp3 n minded our own business.In e bus,ma fone rang.HE calld.Haiz!Wanted mi 2 sit nxt 2 him.He kept on persuadin mi 2 make kakak change her mind.Bt cnt he undastan dat love cnt b forced?Kakak juz doesnt wanna b wif him animore!Haiz!..

He taggd along all e wae wen we were @ Harbourfront Centre.Wanted 2 paz e tym cx we were supposed 2 mit Hafiz n Ijal @ simz drive again dat nite @ 8:45pm.Den Penyu was persuadin kakak all e wae!Mak engkau!Irritatin seh!Bt I juz kept ma cool ah.He wanted us 2 go plae pool 4 awyl.I tol him dat we cnt cx if we did,we'd b late 2 mit Ijal.Bt he said 4 awyl onli.Fuckin shit!Haiz!I noe he purposeli did dat cx he dint wan us 2 go mit Hafiz n Ijal.Haiz!K nvm den..

Den finalli kakak said 2 him,"I stil love Hafiz la!"Dat realli made him walk awae 4 gd.We were lyk birdz bein let outta e cage seh!So relieved!Den we tuk bus 100 2 sims.Met Hafiz n Ijal @ e playground.Den e 3 of us went 2 Grandlink 2 plae CS where kakak n I lost lyk hell 2 dem!Argh!So frustratin seh!Den Penyu calld,wantin 2 speak 2 kakak.I tol him dat kakak was bz wif CS bt he insisted.Haiz!Den he hung up.Aiyo!..

Afta e game,Ijal,Hafiz,kakak n I tuk a cab bak 2 sims.We chilld dhere again.Supposed 2 take a bus bak 2 Changi 2 tawn wif Hafiz bt we mizd e last bus.Haiz!So we were stuck @ sims.Ijal came dwn again 2 mit us.Yay!I was sooo happi 2 b able 2 c him again..

Chilld under e blk.Was freezin cold bt Ijal snuggled up wif mi.DInt feel so cold afta all.Heh!Den wen it was 7am in e morn,e 4 of us went 2 e market hawker centre cx dey wanted 2 eat.Den we chilld @ e playground.Playd catchin wif Hafiz.Heh!I noe.We r childish.Was fun bt I was soo outta breath.Den Hafiz playd ard wif wormz n I was so grossd out!Was screamin!Heh!Abt 12+ in e noon,we tuk a bus bak..

I cud get along wif Ijal.I was sooo happi.Hez a nice guy ah.I've decided 2 b faithful 2 him.So gdbye 2 ma oder 2 bfs.Hahz!Tataz!I hope Ijal cn make mi happi n dat our rltnshp cn last long.I realli3 love him alot!...

Hmmm...

2006-02-15T01:49:00.000+08:00

13th Feb:
Went dwn 2 twn wif Penyu 2 get kakak smthg 4 Valentinez Dae.So I woke up earlier den usual 2 mit Penyu @ fb ard 2:15pm.Den e 2 of us walkd ard Bedok Central firz.Ard 3+pm,we made our wae 2 Orchard 2 mit Along.We tuk an MRT dhere.Headed straight 2 Pacific Plaza where we were supposed 2 mit Along.Penyu n I spent som tym walkin in n out of e surf shopz dhere wyl waitin 4 Along 2 arrive.Den e 3 of us proceeded 2 Far East Plaza..

At first,dhere was a lil tension between Along n I cx it was our firz tym mittin each oder.S usual,e cousins were havin a gd tym,makin a fool of demselves.I gotta admit dat I was havin fun watchin dheir sillyness.Heh!Ma gosh!E silly tingz dey did were god damn funni sia!Heh!..

Den I realised ma sandal was gonna giv wae.Oh shit!I was lyk prayin sooo hard dat e sole wun come off cx den e boiz wud b havin a gd laf @ mi.Hahz!I had 2 control e wae I walkd.I had 2 practicalli drag ma feet so dat e sole wun come off!Gosh!Walkin ard e whole of twn e wae i did was super tirin sia!Ma leg was achin n I was dead tired..

E 3 of us had late lunch @ Mac.E boiz did e moz disgustin stuff eva!I totalli lost ma appetite sia!I cudnt even finish ma McSpicy Double burger!Dey put chilli sauce,mayonnaise,milo,coke,curry sauce,barbeque sauce n wateva oder sauces dey cud find n stird e whole ting up 2geder.Woah!Lukd sooo disgustin.Was abt 2 puke bt I controld ah.Heh!Dey cn even eat fries wif it sia!Ewww!Gross!I managed 2 catch it on video.Real cool stuff.Hahz!..

Den we walkd bak 2 Far East.Chilld outsyd KFC b4 headin bak hm.Went bak 2 Penyu's plc firz den frm dhere,I tuk bus 60 straight hm...

14th Feb:
VALENTINEZ DAE!Did I go out on a date?Nah!*shakez head*Soo pissd off wf ma bfs..

Bfs?Yeah!Boifren wif an S.Yupp!U guezd it!Imma bitch!I hv 3 bfs.I noe u myt cal mi mean or a bitch or wat.Cal mi wateva u wan la.Im sik of bein faithful 2 1 ah.It usualli doesnt pae off.U myt nt share e same opinion wif mi bt 2 dhose hu hv been hurt by rltnshps far 2 many tymz,Im sure u'll undastan mi veri wel.Boiz usualli plae mi out.Nw itz ma turn 2 plae dem out.I WAN MA REVENGE.Muahaha!..

Aniwae,bak 2 e story.Yupp!Im pissd off wif all 3 of dem.E 1 I kinda love most,Ijal is workin.So I cnt blame him rite?Tot of seein him afta work.Calld him 4 tymz bt he switchd off his hp.Bummer!K fyn..

So I calld e 2nd 1.I noe hez done wif skl.Calld him 2 tymz,he dint pik up.Fuck it!Calld his fren,his fren said hez @ hm,dwn wif a high feva n flu.K fyn.I calld him bak,he ignored ma cal.Finalli,I used Penyu's fone n he pikd up.WTF!Wanna avoid mi sae la!Wahlau eh!I askd him hw come he nv pik up ma cal,he said "Sori ah syg.I was chargin ma fone outsyd ah juz nw.Lazi 2 walk out.Ma head heavi ah."Den I askd him hw come he cud answer Penyu's cal.He went lyk,"Ma mum said I had a cal.So I went 2 pik it up ah."Piece of crap!Hw cum he cn pik up an unknown cal n he cnt even pik up ma cal?Xcuses!!!Don wanna tok 2 mi juz sae ah.I wun mind aniwae.I cn find anoder guy ah!Wanna break,juz sae la siak!Ur juz wastin bof our tym here.*rollz eyez*..

I dint go lukin 4 e 3rd 1,tho.Cx I don realli noe him dat wel.Don wish 2 hang out wif him.Bt he was e swtest among all ah.@ leaz he did cal mi @ nite wyl I was @ Penyu's plc.E firz ting he said was,"Happi Valentinez Dae,syg!"Awww..Hw swt of him!E 1 I cared abt least was e 1 huz most sincere 4 bein wif mi.It usualli is lidat rite?Heh!Den he tol mi dat our 1mth anniversary was on e 13th.I was taken aback.I dint noe he counted!All ma guyz nv cared abt anniversaries n dis 1 does!Hw romantic!Heh!Woah!So fast sia e 2 of us 1mth oreadi.Hahz!We had a long fone chat.Ma batt was ormoz flat seh!Hahz!I suddenli feel dat I love him more oreadi.Bt stil,he cnt beat Ijal's plc.Heh!Ijal is stil e moz impt 2 mi among e 3 of dem..

So dhere!Datz hw I spent ma Valentinez Dae dis yr.Went 2 twn wif Penyu n kakak n gt pissd off wif ma bfs.Cool rite?Hope u guyz had a betta Valentinez Dae den I did.To Him,Happi Valentinez Dae!...

Charmed Circle Broken...

2006-02-13T01:46:00.000+08:00

Dint go aniwhere yest noon.Woke up ard 1pm afta sendin mama 2 e door.Laid dwn awyl b4 goin 2 bathe.All dae msgd ma dearez adk,Zul.He accompanied mi wyl I was bz gettin bored @ hm..

Dint do anitin much ah.Fell aslp in Papa's rm den wen he came hm,shifted bak into ma rm n continued wif ma slp.Heh!Was so annoyd by ppl msgin mi.Hello!I wanna slp here!4 e firz tym,felt lyk throwin ma fone outta e window.Hahz!U c,wen a new msg comez in n I haven read it,ma hp wun stop vibratin n beepin.It sooo pisses mi off!So in order 2 shut it up,I hv no choice bt 2 open e freakin msg n epli hu eva msgd mi.Haiz!..

Wanted 2 happily go bak 2 slp wen ma old fone rang wif a msg.Ignored it cx I was 2 lazi 2 walk 2 e TV in ma rm where I was chargin ma hp.Dozed off 4 a lil wyl wen suddenli ma fone rang.Woke up lazily n den e blardy person hung up.Itz a miz cal.Was curious 2 c hu.Dragd ma heavy feet 2 ma hp.Opend up e miz calz file n guez hu cald?!MD NOH!Yeah!Md Noh cald!Seein his name suddenli made ma eyez grew wide open n suddenli I wasnt slpy animore.Hahz!..

Check ma msg n it was frm him.Was shockd n surprised by wat he said in e msg.Don wanna sae wat he typed ah.Private n confidential.Heh!Aniwae,was msgin Zul on ma new hp n @ e same tym,msgin Md Noh on ma old hp.Hahz!Bz!!Muahaha!Comez 2 tink of it,I juz dreamt of him yest noon wen I was takin ma nap den suddenli he msgd.Woah!Hw weird cn dat b?Heh!..

Kinda mizd Md Noh actualli.Nv dreamt dat I wud sae dis again bt ya!I do miz him.Bt datz all ah.Nuttin more den dat.Dherez nuttin rong wif missin som1 frm ur past rite?Once in awyl,it does happen.Hahz!Bt stil,no1 cn eva take His plc.Stil lovin Him lotz..

Ijal msgd mi again yest nite.Actualli,he cald firz b4 msgin.So I managed 2 hear his voice!Yay!Heh!Was msgin n msgin him.Suddenli he said he wanted 2 c mi dis aftanoon cx itz his dae off 2dae.I said ok n askd whether I cud bring ma sis along.Den he dint epli.Burgh!Sucha pisser!K fyn la!U nv confirm anitin rite?So I shant spend ma dae wif u den!Wanna ask ppl out bt don wanna confirm.Wtf!Hope he doesnt cal mi l8r n suddenli asks mi out @ e laz minute.Cx den I'll b lazi 2 go out.Haiz!..

Penyu wanted out n he wantz out again.Hw many tymz must he do dis?Sae..Dis e 5th or 6th tym,I tink.Haiz!I hv no idea wat 2 sae animore.Persuaded him tym n tym again bt dunno y suddenli nw I heck care oreadi.Cx I noe if I made him stae nw,he'll simply go awae again.Wun b surprised if itz tml or e nxt min.Haiz!..

E Charmed circle broken?Mayb,mayb nt.Itz juz lyk e Charmed TV serial itself,u noe.Wen Prue,e leader of e 3 sisterz died.Yeah!Itz happenin 2 OUR Charmed circle.Penyu's e leader cx hez orwaez e 1 2 make decisionz 4 us.Nw he wanz out.Hmm..Mayb we'll get a replacement,mayb nt.Juz lyk wen Paige joind dem.Itz a complete circle again.Dunno whether it wil happen here.Dunno whether e circle wil stil exist afta Penyu leaves.Haiz!Wat e heck!..

Im done helpin ppl ard here!Hello!I've gt ma own probz 2,u noe?!I hv ma own rltnshp probz 2 tink abt.Im juz a normal person!Cx I've been helpin oderz 2 much,I abandon ma own probz which usualli nidz immediate attention.Dat was wat happend between mi n Him.I was helpin out oder ppl wif dheir probz dat I neglected us.N cx all ma brain energy has been used up,I cudnt tink straight n askd 4 a fuckin break up.So ppl,plz!Yall must respect e fact dat I've gt probz 2!Nt dat I don wanna help ah.I do.Bt I nid tym.Ma probz aint settled yet.I wil help yall.Don worie.Juz let mi settle ma probz firz k?Haiz!I don wanna lose anoder loved 1 cx of helpin oder ppl wif dheir rltnshp probz.If I kip on helpin oderz,wat abt mi?No1 helpz mi wif ma probz.I usualli hafta face it on ma own.Mayb itz tym u ppl solve ur probz on ur own,witout mi.U ppl gotta learn 2 b independent.Plz!...

Get Dis.. B-O-R-I-N-G!!!...

2006-02-12T15:15:00.000+08:00

Dint go aniwhere yest.Dint feel lyk goin out aniwae.Wanted 2 stae hm n rest.Juz chil.S usual,stayin hm is borin.So moz of e tym,I was slpin.Nuttin 2 do..

2dae is anoder borin dae.Practicalli a repitition of yesterdae's.A dejavu?Mayb,mayb nt.B-O-R-I-N!!!..

Mizd ma honey's msg 2daez in a row.Thx 2 ma slpin habit!Haiz!Lyk nt fated sia e 2 of us.Everytm he msgs mi,I'll b aslp.By e tym I eply him,hez no longer wif his fren so he cnt epli mi.Damn his uncle 4 takin awae his hp.Nw Im havin alotta difficultiez kippin in contact wif him.Haiz!He onli msgs mi once in awyl wen hez wif his fren.Bt he cnt msg mi evrytym or S long S he wantz 2 cx ultimately,e hp belongz 2 his fren n he doesnt wanna make his fren's bil go up cx of mi wat.Haiz!So weneva he msgs,I'll b lyk ova e moon la.Hahz!..

Was on e fone wif Penyu yest noon wen He calld Penyu's hm fone.He invited Penyu 2 som bdae parti.Penyu said dat He was confirmed goin cx dhere'll b drinkz n gerlz.Haiz!So typical of Him.He hasnt changed a single bit since I laz saw him.Juz wish He'd change sia.He has 2 get awae frm His drinkin habitz n His casanova character.If 1 fine dae He does,I'll b e happiest person in dis whole world sia!Apart frm His drinkin habitz n His casanova self,He makez a splendid boifren,I tel u.Bt I juz cnt ignore e bad traitz in Him.It annoyz mi sooooo much!Miz Him lotz.Wish Hez thinkin of mi lyk I'm thinkin of Him...

Woohoo!...

2006-02-11T00:25:00.000+08:00

Sori mizd bloggin yest.Had a real long dae n was bz wen I gt hm so dint hv e tym 2 blog..

So e dae b4 yest kakak n mama accompanied mi 2 ICA 2 get ma new IC.Yeeha!Finally!So we left hm ard 3pm n went straight 2 Eunos MRT DBS Bank cx mama wanted 2 withdraw som cash.Den we tuk e MRT straight 2 ICA.Bumpd into Azmil otw out.Wonder wat hez doin dhere.Hmm.. Afta we collected ma IC which onli tuk a few mins,we calld papa 2 ask him whether he'd allow kakak n I 2 sign up 4 new starhub 2yr contract under his name.We said we'd b payin e billz n dat e subscription fee is all on us.So he doesnt hv 2 come out wif a single cent.Muahaha!He agreed.Yeeha!Kakak n I were bof jumpin 4 joy sia!Finally a new fone!I've been usin ma current fone 4 ormoz 2yrs oreadi.Cn imagine hw old it is oreadi.Tym 4 a change..

Afta callin papa,we tuk e MRT 2 Somerset MRT station cx mama wanted 2 go 2 e Sing Post @ Kiliney Rd.We each hv no freakin idea where e hell is e sing post so we decided 2 try our luck,walkin ard e area.Yeah!Put 3 gundus 2geder n u get xtremeli crappy ideaz.Hahz!Walkd @ Somerset MRT station n noticed a grp of sk8rz sittin dwn dhere.I was oreadi feelin realli umcomfortable cx Im sure dey'll b passin som stupid remarkz.Tru enuf.Dey were lyk callin kakak n I "mah".Wat e hell sia!Hahz!Bt dey were realli cute ah.So we finalli found e bloody sing post.Gt wat mama wanted 2 get n headed 4 Orchard Cineleisure 4 lunch.We were all soo hungry sia!Had a quick lunch n tuk e MRT 2 Juroung East 2 mit papa 2 get e fone.I gt a Samsung E350 wyl kakak bought e Motorola L6.Bof r super cool in dheir own waez.Reachd hm ard 9+,feelin xtremeli contented!Heh!..

Yest morn,woke up @ 6:50am.Ya.Freakin earli rite?Sian!Kakak wanted Penyu n I 2 send her 2 skl.She had skl @ 10am.So e poor us had 2 wake up earli juz 2 send her 2 skl.Bt itz ok ah.Met Penyu @ fb ard 9:10am.Headed straight 4 Queenstwn via MRT.Sent kakak off n we went bak 2 Bedok.Chilld @ Penyu's crib n den met kakak again @ e fb somwhere ard 1pm.Walkd ard Bedok Central.Changed into ma uni,readi 2 go 2 skl.Resultz tym!E moment I've been dreadin all along!..

Reachd skl ard 2:25pm.Charm,Dori,Hui Ping,Wan Shan n Jenny were oreadi @ busstop.Waited 4 Tonia den e 3 of us enterd skl 2geder..

Wanted 2 enter e hall.Den dis teacher,I shant name hu,stopd mi n Charm.S usual,e 2 of us gt scolded 4 short skirtz.Argh!Nt again!Y muz it orwaez b us hu get scolded?Wat abt e oder peepz whose skirtz r wae shorter den ours?Hw cum dey aint punishd or watsoeva?Bleahz!Obviousli pickin on us!*rollz eyez*She tol mi 2 take off ma studded earrings,necklace n even ring.Wth!Y cnt I wear dem aniwae?Watz so rong abt it seh?Im no longer a student of BRD wat.So watz e biggy seh?Erppx la eh!Frm laz tym until nw,dey nv cease 2 find fault wif e wae we drez.Watz dheir prob aniwae?Irritatin mi 2 e max sia!Come 2 skl onli kena scoldin.Wtf la!..

Kk.Aniwae,ma resultz came out n it turnd out ok.Faild Amathz n Chem.Nt surprisin,tho.I kinda xpected it aniwae.Bt ma pointz were betta den ma prelimz la.Alhamdulillah!God has answerd ma prayerz!Was quite satisfied wif ma resultz.Juz wish dat I had done betta 4 1 of e subs so dat ma L1R5 cn b below 20.Datz ma target actualli.Nw ma L1R5 is 21.Haiz!Mizd by a narrow margin seh!Frustratin!..

Aniwae,headed 2 Bedok Int wif kakak n Penyu again.Went bak 2 his crib 2 get changed.Felt realli2 hungri so we ate som 'mee rebus'-lyk dish his mum cookd.Was delicious, I muz sae.Complete wif e spice n all.Two thumbz up!Heh!..

Den e 3 of us headed 4 ecp.Wanted 2 chil dhere.Somwhere near 2 Bdok Jetty dhere.We hung out @ pipeline,ma fav plc.E wave dhere is beautiful!Wow!Lyk heaven on earth sia dat plc durin sunset!Soooo beautiful!Nv seen anitin lyk it b4..

Den wen it gt dark,we sat under som shelter tingy playin hp gamez.Heh!Den Penyu n I felt hungri so we headed dwn 2 East Coast Park Lagoon 2 eat.E food dhere was nt dat bad ah.Quite nice.We cudnt stop lafin wyl eatin.Crackin e silliest jokez n all.2 make tingz worse,a stupid white lizard had 2 drop onto our table suddenli.I ormoz wackd it awae,thinkin dat it was som leaf or smthg.Luckyli I noticed dat it was a goddamn lizard!Hahz!I screamd n jumpd outta ma seat.Kakak did e same 2.Dint realise our screamz had evry1 turnin,lukin @ us sia!Felt so embarrassd!Penyu was lyk lafin his arse off.Idiot!Hahz!..

Finishd our meal n headed bak 2 Bedok Int via bus.Walkd 2 our normal 60 busstand n waited 4 e bus.We purposely mizd several busses cx it was stil earli n we dint wanna go hm dat earli.Penyu infrared 2 mi som pics n mp3 soundz.Den finalli we headed hm..

Penyu saw Him on e lorry yest noon wyl Penyu n I were alightin frm e bus 2 go 2 his plc.Penyu said dat He was smokin n pointin 2 Penyu e middle finger jokingly.Hw cum Penyu orwaez getz 2 c Him n I don?His lorry was rite nxt 2 our bus n I dint even c Him?!Wtf!Argh!Dherez soo many tymz dat hez somwhere nearby.Bt on all ocassionz,Penyu wud b e 1 seein Him n Him seein mi.Bt I nv do notice Him!Shootz!Y izit orwaez dis wae?!I miz Him oh so veri much!Wen I turnd 2 luk @ e lorry dat He was on,I cud onli c His hair frm a distance S it was so bright under sunlight.Bt i dint get 2 His face!Waaaahhh!Nt fair!I miz Him!!!!*sobz sobz*...

Kachiing!...

2006-02-09T12:41:00.000+08:00

Woke up earli dis morn.Kept on wantin 2 slp bak sia!Added 2 e fact dat itz rainin out dhere.So nice 2 stae in bed.Haiz!Dragd ma feet 2 e toilet once again.E freezin-cold water made mi wake up sia!Hahz!Hafta go 2 ICA again l8r.Gonna get ma IC!Yay yay!Finalli I wun b afraid 2 get screend by e police 4 hangin out late @ nite.Cx I've gt an IC!Heh!Nt dat I care or Im overly excited ova gettin a new IC ah.Bt den evry1 tinkz Im a small kid,u noe.Wanna watch NC-16 showz oso cnt.No1 believes dat Im 16.Bummer!Cnt even enter a freakin club lyk Queens.Hahz!So here I m wif a new IC.Meanz dat I cn do wateva I wan ah.Onli dat ma frenz wil b able 2 enter Hard Rock in a few mthz tym n Im stil 17.Bummer again!Nt fair sia!Haiz!..

Aniwae yest,kakak,Penyu n I met up @ e fb S usual.I had 2 go bak 2 BRD 2 take ma EAGLES.So we met up ard 2pm.Tuk 30 all e wae 2 skl.Tuk ma cheque n headed out again.Bumpd into som of e sec4 malay boiz whom I used 2 hang out wif.Didi n gang ah.S usual,Kamarul had alotta commentz 2 make bt Im oreadi kinda immuned 2 it.Hahz!Tokd 2 dem 4 awyl den we went our separate waez..

Headed 2 Parkwae cx I nided 2 bank in e cheque which cn onli b withdrawn tml afta 2pm.Bummer!Went ard Parkwae,goin in n outta surf shopz cx ma dear fren Penyu wanted 2 get som flip-flops which he eventualli dint.Hahz!He bought kakak a micro-mini skirt.Woah!Hahz!He oso gt all of us a pair of sockz each.I gt maself a real nice turquoise spaghetti strap t-shirt frm 77th street.Penyu bought sex wax 4 his skimboard n a Rusty bag @ Planet Surf plus a nice white headband @ 77th street.All of us were soo contented n broke @ e same tym so we headed 2 Penyu's crib 4 lunch.Hahz!..

Tot wanted 2 budget sia eatin @ Penyu's plc bt we all ended up orderin Canadian Pizza which was on kakak n mi bt we don mind ah.Hahz!Ended up spendin $30 on e pizza.2 boxes 4 3 ppl.Woah!I was starvin lyk hell sia so I gobbled dwn 2 pieces of pizza quite fast.Enjoid eatin e pizza til I was lyk sooo bloated!U noe dat uncomfortable feelin u hv in ur stomach wen u eat 2 much?Yeah!I was lyk practicalli sittin dwn on e sofa feelin helpless n fat!Hahz!Cudnt laf or move ard oderwise,I'd feel lyk pukin.So had 2 control ma movementz n all.Felt lyk S if ma stomach's gonna burst!Hahz!Afta a few mins(which seemd lyk ages of agonisin pain),e fud went dwn n Im ok oreadi..

Watchd som scaree malay show @ Penyu's crib.Som vcd his parenz bought ova @ JB 2daez bak.Was scaree n funni @ e same tym ah.We all had a gr8 tym dhere..

Den S usual,Penyu sent us 2 e busstop @ e usual tym.Itz kinda routine oreadi.Hahz!Had 2 get redbull frm 7-eleven firz.Yeah u guezd it!I nided energy booster.Hahz!Boarded e laz bus n headed hm.Had a real hell of a tym out yest!Woohoo!..

Went 2 check his frenster earli dis morn.Saw dat he accepted bof of ma testimonialz 4 him.Mayb it wasnt him hu signd in 2 his frenster.Mayb itz his fren hu helpd him bt wat e hell la.Felt so weird seein e testimonialz I wrote 4 him.All lovey-dovey n sooo swt,callin him syg n all n tellin him hw much I love him.I even typed him out a song lyric!Hahz!Bt I gav him dhose testimonialz somwhere lyk laz yr wen we were stil 2geder.Haiz!Bt itz ok ah.I stil love him alot aniwae so itz kinda nice seein ma testimonialz on his frenster.Heh!...

Life's A Drag...

2006-02-08T11:25:00.000+08:00

Slept onli @ 8+ dis morn.Yawnz!Was on e fone wif Penyu.Somhw,hez feelin dwn n broken.Hv no idea y.Tried helpin him in evry wae I cn bt he isnt seein tingz in ma perspective.Nw datz where e real prob is.Datz where all e yellin beginz.Hw ugly!Here I m tellin him hw I realli feel abt evryting n helpin him out MA WAE bt hez 2 stubborn 2 listen 2wat I hafta sae.Stil standin his groundz.Haiz!Felt lyk knockin ma head on e wall sia!Wanna strangle him!Kept on wonderin whether Im able 2 knock som sense into his thick skull @ all.Haiz!..

Dis e 4th tym hez sayin wateva hez sayin.Kept on repeatin e same ting ova n ova again.N here I m sayin e exact same ting I've said b4.Itz lyk we r rehearsin som drama script,u noe.Hahz!Wel,Im glad dat ma effortz aint gone 2 waste cx finally,he saw e light.Thank god!Finally,ma jobz done n tingz arent tensed up animore.Nw,itz up 2 mi 2 xplain tingz 2 kakak.I hope she wun make it difficult 4 mi.Cx if she does,I realli dunno wat 2 do sia.2 stubborn n hot-headed ppl in 1 rltnshp.Hmm..Nw u get e picture?Yesh!Im e middle man,havin 2 settle evryting shld ani probz were 2 occur AGAIN.Haiz!Datz juz e wae tingz r ard mi nowadaez.Ma own probz nt settled yet n here I m helpin out oder ppl wif dheir probz.Wae 2 go,Hani!Haiz!..

Forced maself 2 get up wen e alarm rang dis morn @ 10:45.Dragd maself 2 e toilet 2 bathe.Eyelidz heavy frm e lack of slp.Haiz!Nw Im practicalli forcin kakak 2 get up.Cx we r supposed 2 mit Penyu @ 1:15pm l8r @ Bdok Int fb.We goin bak 2 BRD 2 get ma EAGLES tingy.Den we headin 2 e bank 2 cash in e cheque into ma acc den mayb we goin ard 2 survey som hps.Wow!Wat a loooong dae ahead n Im lackin of slp.Bummer!Yeah I noe.Hw splendid rite?Haiz!..

Wyl on e fone wif Penyu dis morn,I kinda gt a clearer picture of u-noe-hu's character.Penyu tol mi dat he hatez 2 b controlld if hez goin sk8in or hangin out wif his peepz @ Haig Rd.Hey!I dint control him @ all.I dint even stop him frm goin wereva he wanted 2 go.In fact,he dint even hafta tel mi where hez headin 2.Cx I trust him 100%.Penyu oso said dat mi n him make a gr8 couple cx I totalli undastan him.Bt e sadded part was,he had 2 spoil evryting 4 e bof us by doin wat he did witout thinkin abt hw I wud feel if I were 2 find out.Tru enuf,I found out n DUH Im so pissd off.Had no choice bt 2 let him go.Haiz!I guez no1 cn b his gerl.Itz impossible.Even if I were 2 take him bak,I don tink I'd b happi.Perhapz I'll b askin 4 a break up again.I cnt toletrate his habitz.Haiz!Bt wateva it is,I'll orwaez love him.Discreetly,dat is.No1 cn stop mi frm lovin him...

Single Is Betta?Mayb...

2006-02-07T15:26:00.000+08:00

Itz anoder dae hm again.B-O-R-I-N!Bt wat 2 do.@ leaz stayin hm cn help us save som $ rite?Heh!..

Aniwae,e resultz r gonna b out dis fri n Im scared S hell rite nw!Wonderin if I screwd up e Os or whether I managed 2 pass all e subs.Even if I did pass,did I get quality passes?All dis qns runnin thru ma brain rite nw.I hope 2 make it into som poly.Wanna do tourism.Itz 1 course dat I realli2 lyk.Bt stil,whether I make it into dat course anot dependz on ma resultz.Woah!I've nv been so nervous b4 in ma entire lyf!Im super duper scared sia!I nid @ leaz 1 science bt e prob is,bof ma Phys n Chem r sooo on e rockz!Orwaez faild dem durin BRD examz n testz no matter hw hard I study 4 it.Haiz!N e Os were somwat similar 2 BRD paper.Does dis mean Im screwd?!OMG!Som1 help mi sia!*bitez fingernailz*..

Itz gonna b Valentinez Dae soon.2 b precise,itz nxt tues.Hmm..I noe I wudnt b gettin anitin frm ani1 cx mi aint gt no nigga rite nw.Heh!Evry yr itz lyk dis,u noe.Haiz!Wel,Im sure kakak's gonna get pamperd by Penyu wif his dozen n millionz of gifts 4 her.S it is nw,hez oreadi buggin mi 2 accompany him go shoppin 4 kakak's presentz.Aiyo!Make mi so jealous of her onli.Hahz!..

Single lyf 4 mi rox rite nw altho I do get loneli @ tymz ah.Datz natural.I dunno y bt gettin a bf is suddenli isnt ma ting animore.Mayb Im juz nt readi 4 it yet.Mayb I stil love him,datz y.Bt aniwae,I hv alotta probz 2 settle oreadi.Helpin out ma frenz n all so I cnt afford 2 hv a bf.Cx den,I wudnt b able 2 handle all e probz n stress.Mayb Im happier e wae I m nw.Juz love sombodi quietly n stil remain single.Itz cool,u noe!Nv tried dis b4 bt itz definitely cool!Cx havin a bf meanz dat I'll b rippd of ma freedom.I cnt mit ma frenz S often S I usualli do n I cnt hang out wif dem til late.Datz a complete bore!I hate bein controlld n evrytym I get into som rltnshp wif som guy,Im bound 2 get controlld n I sooo hate dat!Esp wen Im e type of gerl hu prioritizes her frenz ova her own bf.Datz wat makez moz of ma boiz fed-up wif mi.Dis is orwaez e reason y we break up.Haiz!Boiz r juz soooo difficult,u noe!Guez I'll nv undastan dem.Hurhur...

Amy,Ma Immortal...

2006-02-06T14:06:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have me
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

-My Immortal by Evanesence

Fightin Isnt The Wae Out...

2006-02-06T02:00:00.000+08:00

Went 2 Bedok Int S usual wif Penyu n kakak yest noon.Had an earli dinner @ LJS,our fav fast food restaurant.Cudnt stop lafin our asses off,S usual.Saw som weird ppl ard n dat realli added 2 e our oreadi cnt-stop-lafin mood.Hahz!..

Took a slow stroll bak 2 Sharee's blk n den 2 Penyu's crib.Kakak n I waited @ e fitness corner dwnstairz wyl e boiz went up 2 get som sk8boardin stuffs.Den Sharee went off 2 sk8 @ god-noes-where.Started 2 drizzle so e 3 of us sat under e void deck.Shortli afta,Shamil came ova n joind us.Was rainin so heavily sia!Felt lyk itz winter in s'pore.Hahz!I noe Im crazi bt wat e heck!Kakak n Penyu were irritatin each oder S usual.Shamil was squattin dwn starin @ e rain.No idea y he did dat aniwae.Mayb hez in deep totz.Hahz!Dint wanna disturb him so I minded ma own business.Was trin out som fightin movez.Penyu taught mi hwta fight juz nw.He taught mi hw 2 break som1's neck,leg,hand n even backbone.Itz cool sia!Nw I noe hwta fight!Woohoo!So u peepz out dhere betta nt find fault wif mi.I'll kick ur ass!Hahz!Den Penyu n Shamil sent us 2 e busstop S usual.Had fun walkin in e rain,all soakd.Hahz!Felt lyk a lil gerl all ova again.Hurhur!..

E boiz r otw 2 sebat som peepz nw ova @ bedok reservoir.Haiz!C'mon la ppl.U wanna fight juz cx ur memeber's gerl went out wif anoder guy?Piece of shit sia!I noe hw dat feelz bt I dint go ard bitch slappin e oder gerls' face rite?Aiyo!Juz leave dem alone la dey!Let her do wateva she wantz.Juz ask 4 a freakin break up ah.Fight 4 wat seh?Waste tym onli.Bsydz,shldnt punchin,kickin n fightin onli b used 4 self-defence?Itz nt meant 2 b used 4 fightin or showin each other huz stronger n stuffs.Haiz!Guyz juz wun learn la.Dey tink fightin is e bez n easiest wae out 2 settle e prob.Bt I tink it oderwise.Civilised ppl sit n tok.We don fight.I dunno wat elz 2 sae ah.Tried tokin dem outta it bt dey stil wanna go ahead.I cnt do anitin wat rite?I've done ma part S a fren bt dey r 2 stubborn 2 even listen 2 wat i hafta sae.So b it!Let dem do wat dey tink is rite.Dey'll learn dheir lesson sooner or l8r.N wen dey do,I hope itz nt 2 l8...

A Typical Dae Out...

2006-02-05T03:02:00.000+08:00

Went dwn 2 Bedok Int wif kakak juz nw.Wanted 2 go check out som hp stuffs.Otw 2 e shop,bumpd into Jin Wen.Hahz!Itz been a long tym since I saw him.Was kinda shockd 2 c him dhere rite in fronta ma face.Stopd dead in ma trackz.Dunno hwta react.Juz smyld @ him n wishd him Happi New Yr n we walkd off..

We came bak 2 Bedok Int 2 mit Penyu @ e fb S usual.Saw e TSA peepz dhere.E usual bunch.Jin Wen was stil dhere waitin 4 som1,I guez.Den e TSA peepz walkd past us n I nodded @ dem 2 acknowledge dem.Dey smyld bak.Hw nice.Nt long afta,Penyu came wif Wan Kecik n his fren.Den e 3 of us went 2 som hp shop thingy.He wanted 2 do som software thingy ah.I oso dunno wat e heck hez tokin abt.Xcuse mi cx Im nt so smart wif dis high-tech suffs.Heh!Walk ard Bedok Central 4 quite awyl.Bumpd into som BRD socc peepz.E malay boiz hu r in sec 4 dis yr.Smyld @ dem.Den we playd CS @ Funland where e compz were freakingly lousy!Gt mi sooo pissd off sia!Firz,kakak's password was smthg rong.Den ma comp cudnt log in.Gt anoder comp n we all started our game.Den ma stupid monitor went blank!WTF!Halfway thru e game n e comp gav up on mi.Lousy!Gt anoder comp,somwhere in e middle of som boiz.Felt so alone dwn dhere.Haiz!Den Penyu gt prob wif his comp.In e end,I was playin CS vs kakak.Haiz!Stupid computerz!1 prob afta anoder.Aiyo!Dey shld seriousli go get new onez sia!..

Afta dat,we went 2 eat @ KFC.Den we chilld @ Penyu's blk,waitin 4 Shamil n Sharee 2 come.Den e 3 boiz went 2 accompani Penyu ova @ his plc wyl kakak n I chilld @ e staricase goin crazee lyk we orwaez do.All of us,except Sharee,chilld @ e stage afta dat.Shamil left shortli afta cx he was attendin 2 nature's cal.Muahaha!E 3 of us r left again.Chilld @ e fitness corner til 11:30pm den we walkd 2 e busstop,nt wantin 2 miz e laz bus.I juz realized smthg.All we do 2geder wen we r out is chill.Hahz!Bt itz quite fun ah..

Wyl waitin 4 e laz bus,e 3 of us sat n chatted n lafd our arses off S usual.Den I heard dis bike throttlin veri noizily bt I dint luk 2 c hu cx I was 2 engrossd wif ma fone.Den Penyu went lyk "Amy eh tu?".Damn!Dat was him on e bike n I dint luk up?!So nt fated sia!I orwaez wanted 2 c him on a bike n dhere he was rite in fronta ma eyez n e bloody mi dint luk up 2 c!Mizd e chance sia!FCUK!Stil miz him alot,tho.Weneva ani1 mentionz his name,I'll get all emotional again.Reminiscin dhose tymz we spent out 2geder.It was fun.Haiz!Wish he hadnt done wat he did den we'll stil b 2geder,lukin 4ward 2 our 2nd mth anniversary soon.Haiz!Im so envious of her 4 havin him nw.I shld b dhere nx t 2 him,nt her!Wish I was standin in her shoez..

E dae was quite fun ah.Did e usual stuffs we wud do.Gettin broke tho.Ma ez-link's outta value n ma wallet's gettin lighter n lighter S e daez go by.Hahz!...

I'm Stil Mi!...

2006-02-04T14:44:00.000+08:00

Firz of all,I wanna shout out 2 e peepz out dhere.. STOP CALLIN MI A MINAH CX IM NT 1!Do I luk lyk 1?!I don tink so k.N moz importantli,I don behave lyk 1..

Secondly,2 all u peepz hu hv been tellin mi 2 'berubah',stop it!I MEAN IT!Watz dhere 4 mi 2 'berubah' wen Im nt dat bad a person?I don do all dhose sinful tingz aite!So plz stop tellin mi dat I nid 2 change.Wat Im doin is juz purely enjoyin maself.Stil,I nv go clubbin or drink som alchoholic stuffs or even smoke.So nw u tel mi.Watz dhere 4 mi 2 'berubah' abt?Tink b4 yall tok k?Don make mi sound lyk som worthless piece of shit wen Im nt!So save ur lil religious pep tok 4 som1 elz hu REALLI nid it.IM NT HANYUT neither m I cloz 2 bein HANYUT!2 Zul ma adk,stop tellin mi 2 bertaubat.Cx I've done nuttin against e religion 2 bertaubat 4.Tlg la ppl.Juz try 2 undastan k..

I noe Im changin aite.Bt itz nt S bad S yall tink it is.Itz stil mi.E simple Farhani Shereen yall noe frm skl.Ppl change n I guez itz ma turn 2 change nw so juz don stop mi aite.Im fyn e wae I m nw.Yall don hafta worie abt mi.Im ormoz 17 n I cn tkcr of maself.I noe hw 2 differentiate between rite n rong.Stop tokin 2 mi abt S-E-X or askin mi whether I've done it b4.Cx I haven!Im proud 2 b a V if u wanna noe.So wat if I drez up e wae I do?Doesnt mean Im no longer a V rite?U ppl hv sucha narrow kinda thinkin sia!Burgh!Hw cum oder gerlz cn wear short skirtz,sphagetti straps or even tubez n yall nv sae a ting.Wen I wear dem onli,u ppl sae "C'mon la gerl.Cover up".Stop dat stupid crap!Im juz wearin wat dhose gerlz r wearin.Hw cum dey cn wear dhose stuffs n I cnt?If ma parenz nv make noiz,y r u makin sucha huge fuss abt it den?FUCK IT!..

Dis juz e wae I m,whether u lyk it anot.I've changed n yall gotta accept it.Hw long do u xpect mi 2 remain innocent n swt lyk I was in sec1?Im done wif sec skl 4 cryin out loud!I cnt b dat swt gerl yall xpect mi 2 b.E world is cruel 2 mi n I hafta b cruel 2 it 2.Itz e onli wae 2 survive.Yall r nt in ma shoez so stop judgin mi!I tink yall wuda done e same or even worse if ur in ma shoez..

Take a gd luk @ mi,ppl.E swt gerl u used 2 noe is somwhere deep insyda mi.I haven changed dat much.Im stil MI!Rememba dis...

Phew!Wat A Blast!...

2006-02-03T01:57:00.000+08:00

Went dwn 2 ecp wif Penyu,Ayid n kakak yest noon.E boiz wanted 2 go skimmin.S usual,we went dwn 2 pipeline cx e wave dhere is gr8!OOOWEEE!It was high tide wen we arrived.Penyu wanted 2 grind on e handrail bt u noe wat?!We saw a KABUTO or izit realli wat u cal it?Hahz!Itz a name we created 4 dat sea creature.It lukz weird n creepy wit sharp thorn-lyk thingiez.It was a parent kabuto wif a baby kabuto stuck 2 itz bak.Hahz!We had fun xplorin wif it.Penyu turnd it upside dwn usin his skimboard n we had a gd cloz luk @ it.I managed 2 catch it on video recordin.Hahz!Cool seh!Bt mak engkau!Itz freakin disgustin sia!Lyk a giant cockroach.Urgh!..

Den e boiz went 2 skim.Mi n kakak gt engrossd wif Penyu's cam fone,snappin shotz of ourselvez.Muahaha!So typical of us.Den dis cute lil orange n white kitten came trudgin 2wardz us.Sooo cute,I tel u!Shnuggle muggle tuggle fuggle!So manje seh!Felt lyk bringin it hm bt I don tink ma mum wil allow.Aniwae,it lukd happi stayin @ ecp.Hahz!Snap som fotoz of it.I named it 'Shmug'.Hahz!Geram nye!Itz so mischievous runnin afta birdz n leapin afta buttefliez flutterin pass..

Den afta e sun set,e 4 of us headed 4 Penyu's crib.We lepak dhere S usual n playd RISK.Was cool ah.Bt honestli,I hv no freakin idea wat e hel e game Risk is all abt.Til nw I don quite undastan e rulez n objectivez of e game.Cal mi stupid all u wan bt I guez I'll juz nv undastan boyish gamez.Muahaha!..

Penyu wanted 2 send us off 2 e busstop S usual ard 11:30pm.He waxd his hair up 2 a mohawk hairstyle.Gosh!He lukd goddamn cool sia!Esp wif his newly dyed hair!Lyk a matrep sia!I juz soooo love matreps,if u noe wat I mean.Dheir style is sooo cool.Esp wif pierced earz n bling2 studs.Woah!Hot sia!Kakak was soo in love wif Penyu's hairstyle!Hahz!I tink datz y I orwaez end up in rotten rltnshps.I love matreps 2 much dat I fall 4 dem.Bt honestli speakin ah eh,dheir attitude cn b quite sucky ah @ tymz.Juz gotta bear wif it.Matreps aint dat bad,u noe.U juz gotta get 2 noe dem wel.Datz all..

I met Firdaus,1 of e ubi takraw boiz yest noon wyl otw 2 Bedok Int in 25.Hez in ITE Simei nw.I askd abt Maghrib.He said dat Maghrib's nw in ITE Bedok n thank God dat hez stil livin in ubi.I tot he shifted out sia!Itz been a long tym since I bumpd into him.Haiz!N guez wat?!E world is super small sia!Firdaus is in Sajui's claz!Wahlau eh!Hahz!Juz wat I nided.Haiz!..

Stil thinkin abt him,S usual.Heard dat hez been avoidin his present gerl.Dunno ah.Haiz!Miz him sooo much.Hez bz workin,I tink.Wish he'd juz cal mi 1 dae.Im sure itz gonna b a damn pleasant surprise 4 mi.Miz hearin his voice ova e fone.Usualli he'd b callin @ ard dis tym.Haiz!...

The Pain Rips Ma Heart...

2006-02-01T18:45:00.000+08:00

Somtymz I wonder hw long more m I gonna prolong ma misery.Hw long more m I gonna stare @ his pic n start tearin?Is dis feelin eva gonna go awae?So many qns runnin thru ma head rite nw..

Hw cum I don even feel a single ting 4 ma boi?Hw cum I don even care abt wat he does or where he is?Itz so unlyk mi!Wat made mi turn dis wae?Hw cum I cn go ard hurtin ppl's feelingz yet feel nuttin 4 dem?Nt even a single drop pf mercy.M I turnin evil lyk e oder minahs out dhere or wat?I don undastan maself @ tymz.Izit cx of wat he did I turnd dis wae?I don even trust maself 2 love ani1!..

Cx 2 mi e word L-O-V-E has no meanin no more.LOVE is bogus!Itz bullshit!2 ppl hu tink dey r in love,itz crap!Itz juz pure infatuation by mi.Hw cn 2 ppl hu claim dat dey love each oder veri much juz break up in a few mths or even daez later?!U cal dis LOVE?!Hmph!Crap!..

I used 2 believe in LOVE sooo much bt wat he did I juz cnt 4get.Hw dare he do dat 2 mi!Hw cn he break ma heart juz lidat?!Hw dare he do wat he did bhynd ma bak!E pain is stil killin mi til 2dae.E 1 person whom I trusted moz n put ma heart on e line 4,juz let mi dwn witout a tinge of guilt.Im super disappointed in him!..

Bt hw cum all e disappointment onli made mi feel S if I love him even more?Shldnt I hate him?All e promises we made 2 each oder juz went dwn e drain in 1 nite.E rltnshp dat we built crumbled lyk a sandcastle washd awae by e waves.Itz amazin hw a simple word cn destroy a beautiful rltnshp..

Wat wud u do if e onli person hu cn make u stop cryin was e 1 hu made u cry?..

Gosh!Wudnt u juz cum bak into ma lyf n put tingz rite 4 once?Do I even mean a ting 2 u animore?Itz nt 2 late 2 cum bak if u wanna..

Juz wish u hadnt left mi dis wae witout even sayin "Gdbye"...

Juz Anoder Typical Dae...

2006-02-01T15:37:00.000+08:00

Woke up late S usual yest morn.Had asam pedas n fried chicken wing 4 lunch.Den lazed ard on e sofa again wyl kakak was on e comp,mama was cleanin e kitchen n papa was watchin tv.Den ard 7:30pm,kakak,mama n I went out 2 Tampines Mall cx we wanted 2 check out som digital cam @ Courts.Afta dat,we walkd ard 2 paz tym.Saw a real nice brown corduroy handbag @ Metro n itz sooo affordable!Was soooo in love wif it bt I dint buy it YET cx I wanted 2 save $.Den we went 2 LJS 4 dinner.I was soo happi cx dey playd reggaeton songz all thru out.I was practicalli dancin in ma seat.Hahz!Was cool!Den afta dinner,we tuk a bus bak hm.It was ard 10:30pm..

Had a huge fite wif ma boi yest nite.Cx he found out dat his fren has been msgin mi.Yeah I admit dat it was partli ma fault cx I dint tel him dat I was in contact wif his fren.He was soo mad @ mi bt in e end,evrytingz cool.Im glad dat he aint angri @ mi no more.Hahz!Ormoz wanted 2 ask 4 a break up sia cx I was super pissd off wif his stinkin attitude.Bt luckili I tot ova it twice b4 sayin smthg dat I myt regret.Sooo,evrytingz fyn between us oreadi..

Supposed 2 go shoppin wif kakak,Penyu n his parentz 2dae bt dey had a change of planz.So here we r stuck @ hm again,gettin bored S usual.Haiz!Woke up ard 12+ in e noon.So typical of mi.Sent mama 2 e door cx she was leavin 4 work n headed straight 4 e bathroom 2 take a shower.Been msgin ma boi all e wae.Hez @ work nw.Poor him.Muz b tired.Myt b mittin him dis fridae bt nt confirmd yet ah.Quite nervous sia!Hahz!If we realli do mit up,wish mi luck!Heh!..

Btw,I juz changed e background music.Itz 'Til I Get Ova U' by Michelle Branch.Itz dedicated 2 ma dearest Amy.Dis song describez exactli hw broken I feel rite nw...

The 2 Guyz Whom I Realli2 Love...

2006-01-31T03:05:00.000+08:00

The two guyz hu realli2 rock ma world..
Penyu(wif cap) is ma bestie.E bestest fren ani1 cn ask 4.Hez been dhere 4 mi thru thick n thin n I hope he'll continue 2 b dhere 4 mi.We sacrifice anitin 4 each oder n dat brotherly-sisterly bond we share,I wil orwaez cherish.Hez finalli found his happiness wif ma sis.I hope dey laz long.E wackiest guy on earth n we do e craziest n moz childish stuffs 2geder.Hahz!..
Amy(in Billabong shirt) is 1 guy I'll orwaez love.Miz him sooo much.Sad 2 sae dat we've chosen 2 go on separate paths.E momentz dat we've spent out 2geder wil remain wif mi 4eva.Guez I wun accompani u 2 sk8 comps animore huh,Amy?Hope he noez dat I'll orwaez b dhere 4 him.He was ma evryting n is STIL ma evryting.Ma heartz stil wif him...

Confused...

2006-01-30T14:51:00.000+08:00

Went 2 e beach wif Penyu n kakak yest morn.Reachd his crib ard 8 in e morn bt he was stil slpin.Kept on pesterin him 2 wake up n bathe bt he was 2 slpy so we juz let him b.He finalli woke up ard comin 2 9 lidat.Waited 4 him 2 bathe,ate som breakfast his mum made 4 us n finalli we left his plc ard 10+.Gt a cab n headed straight 4 e beach.We found a perfect spot 2 pitch a tent.Den I went 2 accompani Penyu skimmin.Gt som vids of him doin tricks wyl kakak was in e tent lukin afta e stuffs.It was blazin hot sia out dhere!Ma skin felt lyk S if itz gonna tear out ani moment.Hahz!I cudnt take e heat so we went bak 2 e tent 2 take a rest.Kakak n Penyu went strollin along e beach lukin 4 a public toilet wyl I tuk a rest in e tent.I tink I dozed off.Im nt so sure.Hahz!Den I went dwn 2 e jetty 2 take a vid of Penyu again.Afta all of us were draind off our energy,we started packin up headin bak 2 Penyu's crib.E moment we stepd into Penyu's plc,kakak n I went 2 take a bath n changed into clean clothes n all.Den e 3 of us fel aslp on 1 single bed.Hahz!Cn imagine hw squashd up we were.Cnt even toss n turn sia!Den Penyu went 2 turn on e lightz ard 7+ @ nite!Damn!I woke up.Soo bright sia his freakin bedrm light!Urgh!Den we went dwn 2 e nearest mcdonald's n 7-eleven 2 get som fud.Went bak 2 his plc n Shamil n Sharee joind us dhere.We chilld 4 awlyl b4 it was tym 4 mi n kakak 2 head hm.I tink Im a lil sunburnt oreadi.Ma face is a lil red bt itz nt soo bad la.Shld b gone within a few daez.Juz hafta avoid goin 2 e beach 2 often b4 I get dark all ova again..
Im missin Amy sooo much lateli.Dreamt of him a few tymz oreadi.Haiz!I heard dat hez been askin abt mi frm Penyu.He was lyk "Hw's Hani?".Does dis mean dat he stil cares 4 mi or smthg or izit juz mi huz overly obsessed?I miz him n I hated e break up.Onli if he knew dat I dint wan e break up @ all.Itz juz dat I was forced 2.It hurtz mi soo much 2 sae dat B word rite in his face.Nw he hatez mi cx he tinkz dat I was e 1 hu wanted e break up.He doeant noe dat I noe abt him n dat gal...
Ma boi or shld I realli cal him dat?I dunno ah.Aniwae,ma boi msgd mi yest t he totalli pissd mi off sia!Sayin dat skimmin sux!I was lyk wat e hell!I gt soo mad @ him.Im soo confused rite nw.I hv a boi bt I stil love Amy alot alot.Wat e hell sia!I noe dherez smthg rong wif mi.Bt I cnt help it.Amy stil has ma heart.N ma poor boi doesnt even noe abt it.Im soo mean!Bt I hope dat e LOVE between us wil develop ova tym.I'll treat him nicely,tho.I wun hurt his feelingz n all.Hez a real nice guy n Im thankful 4 havin him.I noe he cn tkcr of mi n make a perfect boifren.I juz nid tym 2 get ova Amy,datz all.Lyf's a drag @ tymz...

YAWNZ...

2006-01-29T03:57:00.000+08:00

Been lazin ard e whole dae.Aint gt nuttin 2 do.Ate onli 1 meal 2dae.Lazi 2 eat ah.Hahz!Been msgin ma honey afta he finishd work.Den ma stupid hp went bonkerz!Burgh!Den ma poor honey had 2 wait 4 ma repli.Gettin panicky oreadi cx I noe dat hez tired n wanna get his rest bt I oso noe dat he wun slp til he getz ma repli.Don wan him 2 wait up 4 mi.Kept on bangin ma fone.Gosh!Ma fone is sooo gettin old sia!Wanna get a new 1 soon.Mayb a hp wif a 4x zoom VGA camera.Den cn take pics of ma frenz sk8in n skimmin.It wil b damn cool!Hahz!Wel,bak 2 ma stuck hp.Onli managed 2 msg him bak @ ard 8+.Lucki he hasnt slept yet.Hahz!..
L8r mi leavin hm 2 go 2 e beach wif Penyu n kakak.We pitchin a tent dhere wyl Penyu goes skimmin.Bringin xtra clothez so dat we cn soak in e water.Im soo bored rite nw!Hangin on e fone wif Penyu.Damn sian sia!Aiyo!Penyu juz gt a new hp n I hate him 4 it!Hw cn he get a new hp b4 I do?Damn him!Argh!Hahz!..
K la.Mi wanna get som rest nw.Hafta wake up earli l8r.Gotta reach Penyu's crib by 7am.*yawns*Btw,HaPpI ChInEsE NeW Yr,ppl!!...

The Hatred...

2006-01-28T20:11:00.000+08:00

Yest we went dwn 2 Bedok rite?Den wen otw 2 Penyu's crib,we bumpd into Md Noh again.Yeapz!Md Noh n frenz.I spotted a grp of malay boiz wif a soccer ball frm afar.Den wen we were gettin nearer 2 each oder,I realized dat Md Noh was dhere.Ma blood rushd up 2 ma brain.I was burnin wif anger all ova again.He dint realize dat e 3 of us were walkin alongsidde dem across e road til Hadi turnd ard n spotted mi n pointed out 2 Md Noh.Md Noh turnd ard n stared @ us.I cud c frm e corner of ma eyez.I kept ma cool.We had 2 croz ova 2 where dey were standin.I was walkin rite in front wif kakak n Penyu bhynd mi.I lukd dwn all e wae cx I dint wish 2 c Md Noh's face.I saw him standin fite in front of mi.I lukd up,turnd rite n gave Hadi e sweetesr smyl I cn giv ani1 n lukd 2 e ground again.I walkd round Md Noh 2 avoid frm clashin into him.Dey crozd ova wyl we walkd 4ward.Wen we crozd ova,Md Noh n his gang stood @ e staircase,watchin e 3 of us walk.I hv no idea wat dheir motive was bt I juz ignored dem so S 2 avoid fitez.Hw cn Md Noh stare @ mi rite in e face n pretend dat nuttin's happend between us?Muke tembok siak!Aiyo!Sooo thick-skind.I hate him soo much nw 4 playin ard wif ma feelingz.I don even wanna luk @ his face...

28.. The Lucki Number...

2006-01-28T02:59:00.000+08:00

Went dwn 2 Bedok yest noon.Met kakak n Penyu dhere 2 hv dinner @ Long John Silver's.Had soo much fun wyl eatin.We did e craziest stuff in e world.Lyk e 3 stooges.Muahaha!We lafd realli2 loudli.Hahz!E craziest trio ani1 cn eva mit.Den e 3 of us walkd 2 NTUC 2 get ma mum a bdae card.Yepp2!2daez ma mumz bdae.Afta gettin e card,we headed straight 4 Penyu's crib.We hung out dhere.By nw,Penyu's parenz r oreadi ok wif us n we r gettin comfy wif each oder oreadi.His mum has begun jokin ard wif us.Itz cool!Hahz!Den Penyu wanted 2 remove his tattoo.He wanted either mi,kakak or his mum 2 help him remove e tattoos bt neither of us dared 2 do it.We tol him 2 wait 4 Shamil 2 remove dem 4 him bt he was 2 impatient 2 wait 4 Shamil.So kakak helpd him remove e small diamond tattoo @ his bak.He was practicalli grabbin on 2 ma leg sia!Twistin it lyk S if he wanna yank ma leg outta ma body.Bt I don mind ah cx I noe hez in agony.Den wen evrytingz done,he went 2 smoke wyl mi n kakak went dwn 2 7-eleven 2 get a can of redbull classic.Went bak up 2 his plc den he tol mi dat he wanna remove his tattoo on his arm.Gosh!Dat tattoo's big sia n e ink is freakin dark!Hw in e world is ani1 gonna remove it 4 him?I tol him 2 cal Shamil n make him cum dwn 2 his plc ASAP 2 help wif e removin of e tattoo.Bt dat Shamil tuk ages 2 cum dwn n Penyu cudnt wait.None of us wanted 2 remove it cx we juz go weak @ e sight of blood bt ultimately,1 of us had 2 do it rite?Guez I was e lucki 1.Muahaha!I tuk e sandpaper,rubbd his skin roughly wif it til e firz layer of skin came off.He tol mi 2 stop awyl.Den we continued again.Dis tym,dhere was soo much blood sia!I was gettin weak 2 e bones bt I cudnt stop cx if I did,it wud hurt much more 4 him.He wanted mi 2 rub his tattoo off again 4 e 3rd n final round.I was hesitant bt he insisted.He was practicalli grabbin ma sis leg.Blood was smeard evrywhere on his arm.I was grossd out bt I remaind strong 4 Penyu.Afta evrytingz ova,we smeard on FAB den wrappd it wif layerz n layerz of bandage.Penyu was cryin sia!He wanted 2 walk 2 his bedrm bt fainted @ e dinin table.Minutes l8r,he got up n sat @ e sofa.Thank god hez fyn sia!Hahz!Den he sent mi n kakak 2 e busstop..
2daez ma mumz bdae.Yeah!L8r we gonna surprise her by bringin a bdae cake 2 her workplc.Mi,kakak n Penyu.Im sure shez gonna b god damn happi sia!Hahz!..
Finalli kakak n Penyu r 2geder!E moment we've all been waitin 4 sia!Yeeha!Is 28 a lucki dae or wat?Lolz!I hope dey cn laz long cx I noe Penyu cn realli make her happi.All e bez,guyz!...

Hatin 1 & Lovin The Oder...

2006-01-27T12:27:00.000+08:00

Yest morn ard 7:30am,I met Penyu @ Bedok Int.He wanted mi 2 accompani him 2 go get smthg.Den we walkd ard firz,wastin tym.We ate @ som coffeeshop nearby S our stomachs were bof grumblin.Had a piece of roti prata wif egg.It was god damn nice sia!1 of e nicest roti prata I've eaten so far.Den we went 2 NTUC 2 luk 4 hair bleach.We went 2 e arcade 2 plae LAN gamez.It was fun sia!Was contemplatin 2 cal Md Noh.Was afraid dat he myt stil b slpin or doin smthg n I dint wanna bother him.So I decided 2 cal him @ a later tym.Sae abt 3pm lidat ah.Afta playin @ e arcade 4 abt 2hrs,we walkd ard Bedok Central 2 luk 4 smthg dat he was lukin 4.Afta dat,we walkd bak 2 his hse cx he wanted 2 go skimmin n nided 2 change n get his board n wait 4 Shamil @ e same tym.He tol mi 2 accompani dem go skim so dat I cn help dem take pics.I agreed cx it has been a long tym since I went dwn 2 e beach maself..
All e wae 2 his blk,I saw Bedok Town Sec peepz comin out.Den I tot 2 maself.Skali I bump into Md Noh ar?Hahz!E min I tot of dat,a grp of Bedok Twn Sec peepz walkd pass n dhere was Md Noh!He called mi ova 2 tok 2 him.I was realli mad @ him 4 nt replyin ma msgs.He said his ppd was low.I was lyk "excuse mi!".I check e SAM machine 2 c whether his ppd was low anot n it said he had $15.80 in it!Isnt dat enuf 2 repli ma msgs?!I was soo pissd off sia!Den he askd mi where I was goin.I said I was gonna accompani Penyu go skim.Den he said,"Wat board is he usin?Woody or fibre?Hez usin woody rite?Den tel him,don skim @ fame!"Den all of dem started lafin!Wth!Ya la I noe dat hez usin fibreglass board bt dat doesnt mean dat he had 2 belittle Penyu rite?I flared up cx I hate it wen som1 insultz ma fren esp ma bez fren.Doesnt he realize dat som of his skimmatez r usin woody 2 n skimmin @ fame?Y don he chase dem awae?Doesnt mean hez pro skimmer,he cn act lyk a big shot!Felt lyk slappin him sia!Den I askd him,"U agreed 2 patch up 4 wat sia?Ur nt serious abt it rite?Den y e hel agree 2 patch sia lidat?U tink wat?Funfair ar?!"Den he said dat he agreed 2 a patch up cx he was feelin bored.@ dat moment,I turnd red wif anger n I tink he noticed dat 2.I was fuckd up sia!Does he tink dat a rltnshp is a game or smthg?!I askd him 4 a break up AGAIN cx I cnt stand bein wif a guy huz nt serious 2 b wif mi.He agreed 2 e break up n we walkd separate waez.Datz e laz Im eva gonna tok 2 dat lousy bastard.I SWEAR..
I turnd ard n guez hu i saw tokin 2 Penyu?AMY!Yes!Amy was dhere!I was soo happi 2 c him cx it was ma firz tym seein him afta our break up.Bt e min I approachd dem,he walkd awae.I felt sooo hurt.I wanted 2 sae hi 2 him!He said we were frenz bt y doesnt he wanna tok 2 mi?@ leaz 4 lil wyl?I watchd him walk awae.Once again,ma heart was breakin.C'mon Amy,turn ard.I noe u wanna sae gdbye.Juz turn ard n I noe u stil care 4 mi.Juz do it,Amy.Bam!He turnd ard 2 luk @ mi!Dat moment,I knew he stil cared.I stil love him alot bt itz juz dat I cnt 4giv him 4 wat he did bhynd ma bak.I don undastan!If he oreadi had anoder gal,y doesnt he wanna giv mi up?N y doesnt he wanna tok 2 mi @ all afta we broke up?Itz S if hez angri @ mi n itz S tho im e 1 hu broke his heart.Bt wateva 4?I dint betrae him.Y shld he b mad @ mi?Haiz!I juz noe dat I miz Amy alot.I realli2 do..
Den Shamil came ova 2 Penyu's plc n e 3 of us set out 4 e beach.We had soo much fun dhere!I was takin pics of dem skimmin.Den wen gettin readi 2 go hm (dat was lyk ard 7:30pm),Shamil tokd 2 mi abt Amy.He askd mi if Amy n I hv broken up.Obviousli,Amy dint tel him anitin.Y?I tuk e opportunity 2 ask Shamil if Amy stil kept our picture.He said dat Amy stuck e picure 2 e mirror.I was soo happi 2 hear dat sia!I tot Amy wud b chuckin e pic somwhere in e cupboard or even throw it awae!Hahz!Dat meanz Amy stil lovez mi a lil rite?I miz him sooo much!If onli I cud turn bak tym,I'd make sure evryting turnz out fyn n dat nuttin comez between us..
Rite nw,Im stil single.Penyu doesnt allow mi 2 get a new boi cx he saez I orwaez make e rong choices.I cnt agree wif him ani betta.He tol mi nt 2 accept ani boi unless e boi is recommended by him.He promizd dat he'd find mi a boi huz nice n cn tkcr of mi n @ e same tym,has e lukz.Hahz!Guez I'll juz hafta wait...

Sickness,Plz Go Awae!...

2006-01-26T02:19:00.000+08:00

Ma headache's gettin worse by e min!Argh!Turnin into feva sia!Walkd ard twn juz nw,draggin ma feet all e wae.Forcin maself 2 juz stand up n act all cheerful.Oderwise,it wil b borin.Wanted 2 eat @ KFC bt aint gt no appetite sia.Onli orderd 1 large fries n a cup of milo.Haiz!Feelin veri hungri juz cnt bring maself 2 eat.Tuk more den 4 capsules of Panadol Xtra 2dae bt stil e feva aint goin awae.Haiz!Feelin veri lousy rite nw.I hate bein sick cx it meanz I cnt jump ard,lafin ma ass off..
Met Penyu @ Heeren juz nw ard 6pm.Den went straight 2 PS 2 check out som stuffz.Den we went bak 2 Bedok 2 chil out @ his plc.Fel aslp in his rm cx I was feelin real sik.Went dwn 2 e nearby 7-eleven 2 get a can of redbull cx ma energy is totalli draind off.Wow!Felt so gd sia wen e redbull went dwn ma throat!Suddenli a rush of energy in ma bodi.Felt alive n gr8 all ova again.Was jokin ard wif Penyu n accidentalli tripd on a stone on e ground.Ormoz fel sia!Hahz!Penyu n kakak cudnt stop lafin.I was oreadi lafin ma head off.Spat out e redbull in ma mouf.Hahz!We were lafin so loud dat our voices echoed ard e area.Wel,I orwaez do e moz embarrassin tingz wen Im out wif guyz.Hahz!Dunno y oso.Bt it was fun ah lafin @ ma own clumsiness.Den we tuk a bus straight hm cx it was comin 2 12 oreadi..
Missin Md Noh alot lateli.Dunno y tho.Juz found out dat Penyu's fren is actualli Md Noh's gd fren @ work.Wat a small world huh?Wish dat Md Noh wil contact mi soon.It wil b gr8 2 hear frm him again.Mayb I cn ask him along 2 e beach dis Sat.Cn watch him skim again!Heez!..
Been 2 Bedok countless tymz lateli.Dint bump into Amy @ all.Guez hez 2 bz wif his new gal or smthg.Onli heard his voice ova e fone wen he calz Penyu ocassionally.Hope hez doin fyn.Hope 2 hang out wif him soon.Dis tym,S gd frenz.Itz a beginnin of a new chapter 4 us...

Ma Head's Spinnin...

2006-01-25T13:30:00.000+08:00

Yeah I mizd bloggin yest.Was 2 bz.Woke up late n realized dat kakak had oreadi left 4 skl.Mama was hm,tho.She tuk an off dae.Den ard 2+pm,I accompanied Mama 2 Eunos Int DBS Bank cx she wanted 2 withdraw som cash.Had 2 cancel on Penyu cx Mama wanted 2 go out wif mi.Den Mama n I went 2 parkwae 2 walk ard wyl waitin 4 kakak 2 b done wif her exam.We proceeded 2 Bugis 2 shop S soon S kakak said dat she was done wif skl.ate @ KFC den went on shoppin ard Bugis Junction.Replenishd ma stock on make-up.Den we went straight 2 Tamp Mall cx kakak wanted 2 buy a new hp.Reachd TM quite late n e starhub shopz closed oreadi.Sadded!Was on e fone wif Charm n bumpd into her cutie fren Reza!Hahz!Sucha a coincidence,u myt sae.Hez even betta lukin in person sia!Heh!Tried on som clothez bt dint wanna buy dem so we proceeded hm.Was beat tired n had a bad sore throat.Haiz!..
Woke up earli dis morn wif a veri bad headache n sore throat.Hate dat kinda feelin sia!Tuk a quick bath n went bak 2 slp.Ma head was spinnin sia!Haiz!Mama had juz left 4 work n kakak's bathin nw.We goin dwn 2 twn l8r.She wanna check out som hp n mayb take a neoprint of e 2 of us.Nv did dat b4.Hahz!Penyu is dwn @ ecp nw,I guez skimmin wif his cousin.Mayb l8r we mittin him dhere.Itz been a long tym since I went dwn 2 ecp aniwae.@ b exact,itz been 7mthz since I went dhere.Kinda miz e plc sooo much.Cnt wait 2 bump into ma skimmer frenz.I hope I'll feel betta soon cx if nt,2daez outin wudnt b fun @ all.Haiz!K.I gtg nw.Wanna lie dwn again.Nt feelin so wel...

Damn!I Soo Wanna Go!!

2006-01-23T14:25:00.000+08:00

Nt goin out 2dae cx kakak's gt exam tml.So muz stae hm n accompany her.Haiz!Nt fair sia Penyu goin skimmin 2dae.I oso wanna go dwn 2 beach.Itz been a long tym since I went dhere.Letz c..E laz tym I stepd into east coast was e firz tym I met Firdaus.Hmm..Dat wil b lyk ormoz 7mths since I went dhere.Hahz!I miz all dhose tymz we went cyclin dhere n feastin our eyez on e hot bodz of e skimmerz.Heez!I orwaez enjoid lukin @ e skimmers' boardz.Dey r juz beautiful!So colourful n artistic!Penyu repainted his board.I tink itz nice bt 2 him it isnt.Hahz!Itz been a long tym since I watchd Md Noh n gang skim @ fame.I orwaez loved watchin Md Noh skim.Dunno y bt he juz lukz nice skimmin.Hahz!Yeah2.I noe Im weird.I love Md Noh's skim board oh so veri much!Itz red n black in colour n it ealli suitz him.Hahz!Lukz gr8!I mizd e recent Skim Fest held laz mth.Haiz!Wanted 2 go soo much bt kakak dint wanna go.She was nv interested in skimmerz aniwae.She preferz sk8boarderz 2 skimmerz.Im e oder wae round.E laz tym I went dwn dhere,Md Noh n frenz werent dhere.Some amature skimmerz were.Haiz!Md Noh taught mi hw 2 spot e rite waves 2 ride.Itz cool,u noe?Den u cn c e 'learnin' skimmerz ride e rong wavez.Hahz!I'd b lafin 2 maself lukin @ dheir sillyness.Miz e old tymz.Somtymz Iwud go dwn 2 east coast 2 mit Md Noh n accidentalli bump into joe n gang.Den we wud hang out n stuffz.Hahz!..
I sooo wanna go dwn 2 e beach nw!Wel,mayb dis comin Sat ah cx kakak's done wif her examz.Den mayb I cn persuade Penyu 2 go skimmin again.Mayb we cn pitch a tent or smthg.Hahz!Itz gonna b juz lyk old tymz.Except dat dis tym,no cyclin cx kakak doesnt noe hw 2 cycle.Haiz!..
I was thinkin of goin clubbin afta I get ma IC.Wanna njoi b4 e resultz cum out.Mayb we go 2 Queens or MOS or wateva ah.Orwaez wanted 2 go clubbin wif Amy cx I heard he dances wel.Bt mayb dis tym,I'll b goin wif Penyu,Shamil,kakak n hopefulli Md Noh.Nt sure yet.Bt I seriousli wanna go clubbin!!...

4eva In Ma Heart

2006-01-23T04:35:00.000+08:00

E boiz went dwn juz nw.Som probz 2 settle,I tink.E firz ting I askd ma fren was "Hwz Amy?Is he ok?".Gosh!Im stil in love wif Amy!I cnt help it.I cnt stop it even if I wanna.Ma feelingz 4 him is juz 2 strong 2 hold bak.I wanna make it thru witout him bt itz sooo hard 4 mi!I noe n I realize dat hez gt a new gal nw bt hw M I supposed 2 4get abt him?If onli he cuda realize hw much he meant 2 mi.Bt itz 2 late 2 turn bak nw cx even if I stil love him,I cnt take him bak.He disappointed mi far 2 much.Dis is a 1-wae love.He doesnt love mi.Im e onli 1 huz chasin after him or shld I sae,chasin afta his shadow?I stil care 4 him alot.Wen is dis eva gonna end?Ma misery.Is dis feelin in mi gonna stae 4eva or izit juz a passin cloud?I dunno man.Im soo confused rite nw.Hw long M I 2 put ma lyf on hold 4 him?I gotta move on,I noe.Bt tel mi..Hw?I've lost Amy even if I dint wan 2...

Galz,Wake Up!

2006-01-23T02:04:00.000+08:00

Was chattin wif Charm on MSN juz nw.Miz her sooo much!Wish I cud c her soon.Haiz!Aniwae,dat guy huz taggin her board is beginnin 2 get onto ma nerves sia!So childish!Lame summore!Aiyo!Watz e world comin 2?I MEAN IT SEH!STOP TAGGIN PPL'S BOARD JUZ 2 PASS IRRITATIN REMARKZ!!!..
Aniwae,I was on e fone wif Penyu nt 2 long ago.He had 2 hang up on mi cx Amy n gang's comin ova 2 his plc nw.Dunno y bt weneva som1 mentions Amy's name,I juz wish dey wil stop it.Hearin his name remindz mi of all e hurt hez caused mi.I juz wanna 4get him asap bt y cnt I?Y is he soo hard 2 get ova?I wish he hadnt done wat he did.Y cnt I stop thinkin abt him?!Y?!Do I stil love him?Nah..Cnt b wat.Den y sia?Haiz!..
Md Noh msgd mi again 2dae.S usual,hez bein nice.He nv did hurt mi.It was orwaez mi 2 end e rltnshp.Miz him sooo much.Bt datz all itz gonna b.Nuttin more den dat.Ma heart n brain r makin split decisionz.Ma heartz tellin mi dat I shld take him bak bt ma head telz mi nt 2.I dunno which 1 2 4llow!Som1 help mi!Confused..
Cnt slp wen evry1 is.Dunno wth M I thinkin abt.I saw a couple in ma estate juz dis aftanoon wyl otw 2 e supermarket.E guy was lyk yellin rite in her face in front of ppl.She juz stood dhere cryin.O c'mon,gal!Wake up n retaliate!Show him ur worth!Y r u kippin quiet 4?Cnt u stand up 4 ur own ritez?Don let him yell n embarrass u!Do smthg abt it!Yell bak @ him!Gosh!Y r galz so afraid of dheir boifrenz?If he treatz u lyk shit,treat him lower den dirt!Y muz we galz orwaez b nice wen guyz arent?I noe Im lyk som female chauvinist pig rite nw.Bt serious tokin ah.Som1's gotta shut dat bastard's mouf up sia!If ani boi wanna treat ani of ma gal frenz dat wae,I wil personally slap his f***in face sia!Haiz!...

Where R U,Hafiz?

2006-01-22T14:41:00.000+08:00

I slept late laz nite.Was msgin Md Noh til abt 12 in e nite.Den I dyed ma hair.Dat occupied somtym.Gt hookd onto e comp playin e demo version of Diner Dash.Dat game realli getz mi confused seh!Hahz!Turnd off e comp wen Papa had 2 go 2 work.Den kakak n I slept in Papa's rm.Kakak was stil on e fone wif Penyu wen I fell aslp.I woke up ard 11+ dis morn wen Mama was leavin 4 work.Den I went bak 2 slp n onli woke ard 1.45pm wen Penyu calld.Hahz!I noe.Imma slpy head.Bt wat 2 do.I was feelin real tired..
Don tink Im goin out 2dae.Gettin bankrupt oreadi.Haiz!Gt planz of buyin a new hp.Datz y I muz save money.So dat meanz I gotta try ma bez nt 2 go out.Borin sia!Feelin real bored rite nw.Kakak's stil aslp.Im gettin soo hungry.Mayb l8r I cook maself a bowl of Maggi mee.Lukin out e window..Wat a beautiful,sunny dae out dhere!Argh!I wanna go 2 e beach n soak in e sun.Uh no.On 2nd tot,I don wanna do dat.Don wanna get ani darker.Tuk mi soo long 2 get fairer.Don wanna get dark no more.Ya I noe Im vain.Hahz!Geishas cnt b dark-skind rite?Lolz!..
OMG!Ma fav song is on e radio rite nw!U n mi by e Wannadies!Remindz mi of Hafiz.Cx dat tym,wen 3 of us hung out in his rm,dis song came out n we were all singin 2 it.Hahz!We had sooo much fun watchin cartoonz,slammin each oder wif stuffd toyz,drawin japanese anime n writin lyrics.I miz Hafiz!I dunno where he is rite nw.E laz tym I heard abt him,his mumz sick.I hope shez feelin much betta rite nw.Surprisin dat Hafiz dint turn 2 us 4 help.He dint even participate in e sk8 comp held yesterdae n 2dae @ Youthpark.Is his mumz condition realli dat serious?Im sooo worried abt him rite nw.I miz all dhose tymz we all hung out 2 plae CS n kakak n I wud get soo irritated wif Hafiz cx he wud orwaez win!It getz soo frustratin dat we myt even argue.Lolz!Childish!E laz tym we went out 2geder was @ Bedok Funland.Hafiz,kakak,Penyu,Shamil n I were all playin CS 2geder.Den Hafiz went bak 2 Changi beach wyl e 4 of us went 2 hang out @ Bedok Central.I wud b happi enuf if Hafiz wud @ leaz cal or msg mi.I juz wanna noe hw hez doin rite nw.If he doesnt,I juz hope n prae dat he n his mum r doin fyn wereva dey r...

Galz Don Busted,Mind U!

2006-01-22T03:41:00.000+08:00

I went out yesterdae.Was supposed 2 go 2 e beach wif Penyu n kakak bt we dint cx Penyu dint wake up.Wth!Hahz!Kakak n I ended up goin 2 his plc 2 slack n spend tym dhere.Hahz!We hung out in his rm,eatin,playin e guitar n all.E 3 of us squeezd on a single bed.Hahz!E bez part was I managed 2 slp 4 awyl cx he was playin e guitar n it was soothin.Made mi slp.Hahz!Den @ abt 10pm,Shamil came ova n we all watchd tv n a few minz l8r,we all went dwn 2 e nearby 7-eleven 2 get redbull 2 boost our energy.Hahz!We r all loyal patrons of redbull.Hahz!Evrydae sure nid @ leaz 1 can of it.Den Md Noh tol mi 2 cal him 4 awyl.Yay!I tokd 2 him on e fone 4 abt 3minz den Penyu n Shamil sent kakak n I 2 e busstop 2 take e bus hm.It was gettin late..
Penyu woke mi up earli yest morn n tol mi dat Amy calld him e nite b4 2 ask him 2 tel mi dat Amy n I r juz frenz frm nw on.Hmm..Xcuse mi!Dint we break up a long tym ago?Hahz!Aniwae,Im nt e leaz bit botherd abt him.Imma geisha rememba?We geishas don fall in love.Even if we do,e feelin is kept deep insyd n nv 2 b xpressd..
Shamil was tellin mi hw galz nowadaez suck 2 e core.I was lyk "shut up,freak!".Hey!Open ur eyez plz!Nw u tel mi.Hu is more of a busted?Guyz or galz?Galz try 2 endure e freakin rotten attitude of guyz n yet dey cal us pembusteds?Haiz!I was pointin out 2 Shamil dat I was loyal 2 his bro wen we were stil 2geder.I tink Shamil tinkz dat I was e 1 hu busted Amy.Don tel mi Amy is goin ard playin victim nw?!Yeah!I noe I initiated e break up.Wel,I wudnt hv done so if he dint betray mi.I dint tel him dat I knew more den he tinkz I do.I'll juz kip it 2 maself.All I noe,I gotta end e rltnshp NW.Im happi e wae I m nw.Geishas don trip ova a guy.We geishas hv a positive attitude n stae strong no matter wat happenz.Broken heartz n sorrowz r hidden deep insyd us,nv 2 b told.Datz e wae tingz r gonna b frm nw on...

It Was Fun

2006-01-21T09:05:00.000+08:00

Sori 4 missin a few daez of bloggin.Was kinda bz,u c n ma dad tuk awae e freakin modem cx I came hm late on wed.Haiz!..
I went 2 luk 4 Amy @ Bdok on Wed nite.Found him sk8in near sheng shiong supermarket wif Shamil.Penyu was wif mi n ma sis.I tuk e opportunity 2 tok 2 him.I tink he kinda figured out dat I wanted 2 ask 4 a clean break up cx I was givin him cold treatment all e wyl.I was feelin lazi 2 tok 2 him.Felt lyk punchin his face!Hahz!So plastic sia he!Actin S if everytingz fyn wen itz nt.I dint tel him dat I knew abt him n her.I wanted 2 make it seem S tho Im breakin up wif him cx of his freakin attitude.Aniwae,he went bak 2 his plc 2 change firz n he came dwn 2 c mi again under Penyu's blk.Woah!I spotted 'her' ring on his finger n I went lyk "Nice ring?".He said dat it was his mum's.O c'mon man!Hw lame cn dat b sia!Obviously itz a teen galz ring,nt his mum's!Hw stupid does he tink I m?Den I tol him dat I saw him @ Orchard wif her.He went all out 2 deny sia!Wahlau!I noe hu I saw seh!He kept on sayin dat he was workin dat dae n dat he dint go dwn 2 twn.Yeah!Wateva!Sucha huge liar!I askd 4 break up bt he said he nided tym 2 tink abt it.I was lyk 'hell'!I juz wanted a clean break up,datz all.Altho he tol mi 2 wait 4 his cal,I dint.I moved on ormoz immediately.Cnt wait 4 him animore la.Bsydz,I don love him no more..
I went 2 skl yest.Wanted 2 visit e ELDDS peepz n @ e same tym,check out e new skl.E feelin of enterin e skl sux sia!Mayb itz juz dat I don feel belongd dhere.Itz S if it aint ma skl.E canteen was a lil small n 2 bright.Haiz!Met som of ma frenz frm e oder batches n som frm ma batch hu came bak.Was quite cool seein evry1 I realli miz.Evry1 was tellin mi dat I changed alot.Realli ar?I don tink so,tho.Aniwae,I bumpd into Nadirah n I was soo happi 2 c her sia!Itz been a long tym.It was a pleasant surprise.Practicalli jumpd n hoppd all e wae 2 her in excitement.Ya2.I noe Im childish.Hahz!Den afta dat I went straight 2 Bedok Int 2 mit Penyu.We were goin dwn 2 queenstwn 2 fetch kakak.Den e 3 of us went 2 Marina Square 2 catch Memoirs Of A Geisha.E movie was freakin cool sia!I tink e lyf of a geisha rox 2 e max.I shld learn 2 b 1.Hahz!Nt wat dey do,of cx.Itz juz dat dheir principle in lyf is realli cool n dat dey don fall in love wif men easily.I shld b 1!Hahz!Den e 3 of us went 2 LJS 2 hv dinner.E cinema was freezin sia!Lyk in winter.I was practicalli shiverin all e wae even tho I had a jacket on.Ma legz were freezin n ma toes were numb.Ma teeth cudnt stop chatterin.Hahz!Tuk quite som tym 4 us 2 raise our body temp again.Frm dhere,we tuk a bus bak 2 Ubi.Had a gr8 tym out sia!Made mi 4get abt all ma probz n carez..
Hmmm.. Mayb Im gettin a new guy soon.Heez!Ma x,actualli.I hope dat tingz cn go on wel between us.Stil love him alot altho we broke up 4 7mths+ oreadi.Nevertheless,Im nt puttin high hopez into dis rltnshp cx imma geisha rememba?Hahz!Datz e wae tingz r gonna b frm nw on.Geishas don fall in love...

To Amy...

2006-01-18T15:57:00.000+08:00

Amy,Amy,Amy,Amy.Datz all I here ppl sae nowadaez!Evrytingz abt uE more I try 2 run awae frm ue more u kp comin bak into ma lyf.Hey dude!Don u get it?!I don nid u animore.U cn go on wif her 4 all I care.Im juz soooo glad dat I wasnt e 1 u wasted.Guez ur makin mi c ur true colours nw huh?Im glad Im able 2 open ma eyez n c e real person u r.I tot I was dyin in anger n frustration wen I found out abt u n her.I tot I was nv gonna make thru dis pain.Bt guez wat?!Im bouncin of e wall!Im fyn n Im feelin much betta den eva.U made mi c tingz in a diif perspective n cx of wat u did,Im more determined den eva 2 turn maself into a gd gal.Nt a minah tudung,mind u.Itz juz nt mi.Hahz!Im gonna make u c dat u juz turnd ur bak on wat wud b a beautiful rltnshp.Itz ok.Mayb itz juz nt meant 2 b between us.I dunno y bt I aint feelin anitin 4 u animore.Itz S if wat u did dint hurt mi a single bit.Y ar?Cnt b dat I dint love u @ all cx I noe I DID.Bt mayb u dint make mi love u enuf,datz y.Or itz juz dat I kinda learnt ma lesson n expected dis kinda ting 2 b comin frm u.I aint trippin ova u.I went mad wif anger yest bt ma heart aint cryin.Im startin ma new lyf witout u.I noe dat ovatym,our memoriez wil slowli turn 2 dust.I cnt wait 4 dat dae 2 cum.I cnt wait 2 4get abt u.I regret knowin u.Wish I hadnt fallen 4 u guy lyk u.She'll b happi wif u nw bt nt 4 long.I noe it.Cx wen u get bored wif her,ur gonna let her go.Letz juz wait n c.Til den,I hope u wun cal mi animore.Cx e sound of ur voice makez mi wanna puke!Ur sucha fake n I don tok 2 plastics lyk u.Sayounara,Amy...

Im Nt Ok (I Promiz)

2006-01-17T15:05:00.000+08:00

Itz e 17th of Jan 2dae n itz supposed 2 b our 1mth anniversary.Sad 2 sae,itz oso e dae of our break up.I went out wif Penyu yesterdae cx he sent mi 2 e Doc's.I was so lukin 4ward 2 2dae cx I cnt wait 4 us 2 celebrate our firz mth anniversary bt I guez dat aint gonna happen nw.Wat Amy did 2 mi realli crushd ma heart into pieces.Dis is e extreme I cn take.Hw cn he plae behind ma bak?!U guyz wil nv undastan ma position rite nw.Im nt gonna sae wat Amy did cx itz onli gonna hurt mi even more thinkin abt it.U myt sae dat itz a small matter.Wel,ITZ NT!I cudn tink straight yest nite.Wen Im strezd,I don drink alcohol bt I drink e blue can redbull.Itz enuf 2 make ma whole world spin ard mi.Had veri high feva due 2 e sudden rush of energy caused by e redbull.Swallowd dwn 3 capsules of panadol extra @ 1 go.Dunno wat I was doin.I was BROKEN.Hw cn he stil hv e cheek 2 cal mi earli dis morn n pretend dat evrytingz fyn wen ITZ NT?!!Nuttin wil eva b e same animore.Ma head is stil throbbin rite nw.Feel lyk dyin of emotional torture sia!Im goin out later 2 find Amy n perhapz catch him red-handed wif his new gal.Itz e hardest ting I'll eva hafta do bt I gotta do it.BROKEN!!!Itz gotta end NW!!He dint hafta b so mean 2 mi!Wat did I eva do rong 2 deserve sucha treatment frm him?It hurtz soo much 2 love him e wae I do n turn ard 2 luk @ him n realize dat he doesnt giv a fuckin damn!Yeah Fadzil,ur rite.I cn nv trust him.Thx 4 makin mi realize dat.I dunno hw 2 face him later on.Wat wil I do or sae 2 him in front of her?Wil I b strong enuf 2 face him witout sheddin a single tear?Wat he did wil orwaez remain wif mi til e dae I die.Nv wil I believe anoder guy in ma lyf animore.Im dyin insyd rite nw.No1 wil undastan.Im in dis battle alone.I hope tingz wil turn out wel later on..
IM SEEKIN SOLITUDE!...

Feva Sux!!

2006-01-16T13:39:00.000+08:00

Was supposed 2 go out wif Elias 2dae.Accompany him go buy som stuffz.Bt guez wat?I woke up dis morn wif a veri bad headache n feva.Hw 2 go mit him?Aiyo!I was sooo lukin 4ward 2 c him seh!Itz been a long tym since I laz saw ma gd cloz fren since sec1.E stupid headache had 2 go spoil it all.Haiz!Elias,I canceld goin out wif som guy cx of u tau!U betta appreciate bt Im sooo sori dat I had 2 cancel on u 2.Haiz!I feel lyk som pembusted nw.I nv lyk 2 cancel on ma frenz.Itz e laz ting I'd eva do!If cn ah,I'd split maself up so dat I cn b dhere 4 all ma frenz.Heh!Wel,at leaz Jane cud take ova ma plc n accompany Elias.Woo!(wipin e sweat off ma forehead)..
Was on MSN e whole morn wif Sha,Fadzil and Nabil.At leaz dey accompany mi @ hm.Hahz!It was a whole lotta fun ah.Feelz lyk e old tymz hangin out in e skl canteen chattin awae.Except dat dis tym itz on MSN.I was lafin ma head off ah esp wif Fadzil ard.Hez sucha joker bt 2 bad he gtg offline earli.Nw gt nuttin 2 do oreadi.Mayb l8r goin out.SHOPPIN!!!!!!Finalli seh!OMG!Saved up enuf $ oreadi.Cn go shoppin non-stop bt I bet by e tym I get hm,ma wallet empty oreadi.Hahz!Bt Im sure itz gonna b worth it ah.Satisfaction guaranteed!Heh!Dat is if Im feelin betta oreadi..
Nw Penyu juz msgd mi sayin dat he wanna go rembat sombodi oreadi.Darn!If I cud,I wanna run 2 him n hold him bak seh!Yeah I noe itz 4 revenge bt all dis fytin is gonna put his own lyf @ stake 2.Don wanna lose anoder fren.If Amy askd mi abt wat happend 2 Penyu,hw in e world M I supposed 2 ans 2 him?L8r he sae, "Why dint u tell mi abt dis?".I juz pray dat hez gonna b fyn.Im mittin him l8r.Hope he wun b late n dat he'll b in 1 piece.He sendin mi 2 e doctor's..
Wherez Amy?!!He dint even cal or msg mi 2dae.Actualli,dint hear frm him 4 e paz few daez.Hope hez doin fyn whereva he is n hope he doesnt 4get abt mi.Hahz!A few daez bak Mama saw Amy's pic on ma table.I framed his pic up n put in on ma studi table.Den Mama went lyk "Who's dis?Amy izit?Ur boi ar?".I dint wanna sae anitin cx she sure 2 sae som commentz.Hahz!Let her kip on guessin.Hahz!I tink laz yr,b4 Christmas,Amy n I tuk a neoprint 2geder bt he tuk hm all of e picz.Sobz!He said he wanna frame it up.I was soo happi 2 hear dat bt I oso wanna kip a pic of us 4 memoriez.Nw I don hv ani.Haiz!Shamil n Penyu said dat Amy framed up our pic n put it on top of e tv in his rm.Aww.. Hw swt of him.Hope 2 c him again soon.I noe hez bankrupt nw cx he juz bought a gold chain bt l8r wen I get ma $150 oreadi,I cn blanje him.Heh!Or if nt,I buy him smthg nice.Heez!...

Wherez E Love?

2006-01-16T01:02:00.000+08:00

Im bored 2 death!Dint go aniwhere yest cx itz a Sundae n ma dadz hm.Cnt go out if hez hm.Later kena lecture.Aiyo!Datz e worst part of all.Later Im goin out,I guez.Mit som of ma palz.Itz been a long tym since I laz met dem..
Aniwae,Im pretti much bak 2 normal oreadi.Tingz r lukin gr8 4 mi.2 ma palz lyk Nadirah,thx 4 bein concernd abt mi.Im realli2 touchd by it.Hope 2 c u guyz soon!..
Tingz between mi n Amy is stil e same.Wat do u cal dis?A stagnant rltnshp izit?I dunno ah.Hahz!Wel,Im glad dat he at leaz stil regardz mi S his gf..
Yest nite som guy calld mi n said, "Hi!Leh knal2?".I was lyk hu in e world r u seh?I hate it wen guyz juz pass ur number ard 2 dheir frenz n den all e weird ppl start callin u up,askin u 2 b dheir 'fren'.I soo hate it!Walau eh!If dis guyz r nice,nvm ah.Bt onli a handful of dem r realli nice.E rez of dem wil kip on pesterin u 2 b dheir gf.Wat e hell seh!Hw cn u b som1's gf if u juz gt 2 noe dat person ova e fone?Wat do dey tink dis is?A joke?Half of dem r juz dead desperate 2 hv a gf.Xcuse mi!Do dey noe watz e meanin of bein in a rltnshp?I mean u gotta noe a person xtremeli wel b4 u decide 2 b in a rltnshp wif dem rite?Den I was tokin 2 dis guy on e fone 4 a few mins n he went lyk "I love u,syg" b4 hangin up.Halo?!!Doesnt anibodi noe e REAL meanin of e word LOVE animore?Hw cn som1 tel som1 elz dat dey love dat som1 juz by tokin on e fone wif him/her 4 a mere few mins?Obviousli,he aint sincere 4 sayin dat.Sucha despo!Hez sucha huge turn-off seh!Imagine if all e guyz in e world r e same,OMG!I dunno wat 2 sae.Guez I wun trust ani guyz animore if it was lidat.Hahz!Thank God dhere r stil som sincere n trustable guyz ard.Bt sad 2 sae,onli a handful of dem r realli2 sincere.Ma guy fren broke up wif his gf cx he gt tired of her face.WTH onli!He seemz 2 b soo proud of it summore.Haiz!Guyz!I hope dat Amy isnt lyk dhose despos...
PS:Check out ma honey's foto.Heez!Cute anot?Muahaha!...

E Sun Finalli Shinez!!

2006-01-14T06:23:00.000+08:00

Itz 6:27am rite nw.Ma dad juz left 4 work n ma sis n I r chillin out in his rm.Im on e com wyl ma sis is on e fone.Ma mumz stil aslp.Goin 2 work l8r..
I guez it wil b anoder borin dae @ hm.Haiz!Wat 2 do.Hv ma eye on a nice shirt bt den I lazi ah 2 go n get it.Dunno y bt I feel so 'sayang' wanna use e money,u noe wat I mean.Dunno la.Mayb I shld go get it cx itz freakin nice!!!Cnt stop thinkin of it.Amy oso tol mi 2 go get it wen we laz met.Guez e shirt caught his attention 2 huh?Hez gt gd taste,I muz sae.Heh!..
O ya!U noe wat?!Amy cald mi juz a few hrz ago.I tink it was ard 4+ in e morn.OMG!I was practicalli jumpin 4 joy!Itz gd 2 hear his voice again.He said he hasnt been gettin an off dae datz y he cudnt mit up wif mi.I hope he getz an off dae nxt wk.Dat wae,we cn spend somtym out 2geder.Itz gd 2 catch up again.He n Shamil went 2 Penyu's crib juz nw juz 2 hang out n settle som probz.Boiz!We were jokin ard on e fone n he said "I LOVE U"!Wow!Itz a normal ting 4 him 2 sae 2 mi ah bt den itz been a long tym since I've heard him sae dat.Datz y I was practicalli meltin wen he said it.Yeah2!U myt b sayin dat Im easili taken in by swt tok bt datz juz e wae I m.Im givin him e benefit of e doubt.Hez innocent til proven guilty rite?I realli hope dat hez sincere in sayin it,tho.Cx if nt,it wun mean a ting.Im lukin 4ward 2 his nxt cal.I hope it wil b soon.Penyu tol mi 2 giv him a 2nd chance.I dunno man.Shld i?I noe I love him alot.Mayb I shld giv him a chance.Bt dis wil b e laz chance ah.I hope wif all ma heart n soul dat he wun screw it up again dis tym...

Imma Pimpette!!

2006-01-13T16:40:00.000+08:00

OMG!!Itz freakin borin!Dis is e 3rd dae Im stayin hm.Wanted 2 go out 2dae.Mayb go shoppin or smthg.Wanna buy new stuffz n go update ma wardrobe bt I woke up late!!!Gosh!Nw itz 2 late 2 go out.Itz 5pm nw.Aiyo!Lukin out e window nw.Wat a beautiful dae witout rain!Juz wanna go out n absorb in e atmosphere.OMG!I so wanna b out!Imma lyk a caged-up animal waitin 2 b freed.Hahz!(wat a wae 2 describe maself).Gotta stae hm 4 e nxt 2WEEKZ!OMG!Kakak has examz.I cn go out witout her la bt watz e use wen I cnt cum hm late?No fun.Myt S wel stae hm seh lidat!Comin hm earli is sucha drag.Havin 2 catch e laz bus hm is bad enuf.Meanz we hafta leave e plc ard 11+.E nite is stil young seh!Haiz!I've been stayin hm 4 2 long dat I cn practicalli write out a freakin timetable 4 ma daily routinez.Itz all e same.Wat Im gonna do e nxt hr is sooo predicted!Argh!I wanna scream outta frustration.Sombodi cum n save mi frm ma boredom!I wish dhere was skl!@ leaz I cn plae netball or smthg.2dae is fridae.Itz our netball dae in skl wyl waitin 4 eldds 2 start.Miz e old tymz..
Im fellin a lil betta nw.Nt so broken up.I gt som realli gd advice frm ma darlin Mona.She gav mi som tipz 2 deal wif e situation.Lukz lyk Im doin quite wel compared 2 e previous nite afta she gav mi e advice.Thx alot,darl 4 orwaez bein dhere 4 mi.Im takin it slow nw.Im juz gonna let it ride.C where it takez us (mi n Amy).If he comez bak 2 mi,meanz hez e 1 4 mi.If nt,mayb itz a sign 4 mi 2 muv on.I'll orwaez love him no matter wat happenz.Tho we dint go on in e rltnshp 4 2 long,I did put ma heart n soul into it.Mayb datz ma mistake.Bt aniwae,I nv regretted knowin him.He changed mi alot n I thank him 4 dat.Im nt gonna hate altho hez hurt mi alot.Hatin him wud onli b more painful 4 mi.Im juz gonna go wif e flow.Ovatym,ma heart wil heal on itz own n I'll soon b readi 2 out e past bhynd n move on.Mayb I'll find anoder guy 4 maself or mayb,I'll stae single 4 e nxt few mthz.Juz wanna b on ma own.Dat wae,I wun get hurt by dis ting calld LOVE.I aint trippin no more.I gotta get up n walk awae.Itz e bez wae out.Im happi e wae I m nw.@ leaz I stil hv ma frenz by ma syd 2 support mi all e wae.Im 4eva grateful 4 dem.Dey r lyk ma God-sent angelz 2 watch ova mi.I love ma frenz alot n I swear I'll nv love ani oder guy more den I love ma family n ma frenz.Ma future guy wil hv e lowest priority in ma lyf.If he aint happi wif it,he cn get outta ma lyf.Im nt e leaz botherd.Nobodi separatez mi frm ma frenz.If dey do,dey r done 4...

Bitch In Total Control Of Herself

2006-01-12T17:02:00.000+08:00

Itz 5:08pm rite nw.Juz woke up.Dint slp e whole morn.Was on e fone wif penyu tryin ma bez 2 make him stae n cryin ma eyez out @ e same tym.He meanz alot 2 mi.Hez e bestest guy fren I hv on dis earth.Hez been dhere 4 mi countless tymz n I've been dhere 4 him 2.I don wanna c him go awae.Watz ma lyf witout him?Itz a piece of shit!Lyf's a bitch!I tot dat 2006 wil bring happi memoriez 4 mi n dat I finalli cn run awae frm ma probz in 2005.Bt NO!I tink 2005 was a betta yr 4 mi.Itz juz e start of 2006 n it sux big tym!I cn onli imagine watz in store mi as e daezgo by.Ma lyfz sucha screw up rite nw.Nv felt dis wae b4.Rite nw,Im @ a loss.Dunno wat 2 do.If onli I had a skl 2 go 2.It wil help mi 4get abt maprobz.Seein ma frenz n buryin maself in ma bkz wil b sucha a gr8 distraction.Bt luk @ mi nw!I hv all e tym 2 brood ova ma silly prob.Slpin is e onli wae I cn 4get abt ma probz.Datz y I wake up late nowadaez.I wanna run awae frm all ma probz.1 gd ting dat came out:Penyu has decided 2 stae!Yes!Hez stayin!OMG!!Im so happi!..
Penyu tol mi 1 ting.He said itz nt worth waitin 4 Amy n dat I shld move on.Hw?I cnt bear 2 walk awae frm Amy wen I stil love him soo much.Penyu said dat I don deserve e mean treatment dat Amyz givin mi.I dunno wat 2 do.If I stae n wait,im waitin 4 nuttin n Im juz wastin ma freakin tym.If I chooz 2 let it burn,itz gonna hurt mi sooo much knowin dat I dint try ma bez in dis rltnshp.A few more daez wil b our 1-mth anniversary bt I guez we wun hv e chance 2 celebrate it cx Im walkin awae rite nw.Itz juz a matter of tym b4 I do.I juz nid tym 2 pluck up enuf courage.I noe dat ma lyfz screwd up rite nw cx of Amy.Bt datz juz e wae it is.Im gonna change it NW.I hafta do dis.Itz 4 ma own gd.Im nt gonna watch maself goin dwn e drain cx of som bastard.Im a BITCH!Bitch in total control of herself.Datz e wae itz gonna b frm nw onwardz.I aint lettin no nigga intrude wif ma lyf n rule it 4 mi.Ma world is abt mi,ma family,ma catz n ma homies.FRENZ R 4EVA.BOIZ R WATEVA!Datz e wae tingz r gonna b frm nw.I'll hv total control of maself.Im willin 2 put ma lyf on e line 4 ma frenz bt nv 4 ma nigga.Dey aint worth ma tym,money or tearz.Im a fighter n 4eva I'll b..
Amy,u cn juz bounce outta ma lyf rite nw!I don nid u @ all.Ur onli addin pain n sufferin.Watz e use of u stayin if u onli treat mi lyk a piece of shit!I deserve a betta guy den u.Walk out n nv cum bak!!!

Im Walkin Awae Frm e Troublez In Ma Lyf

2006-01-12T04:05:00.000+08:00

Itz 4:10am n im cryin ma eyez out.Ma gd frenz all dis wyl aint dhere 4 mi no more.Amy(ma syg),Penyu n Shamil e 3 ppl we used 2 hang out wif sooo much r leadin 3 separate livez rite nw.I was juz on e fone wif Penyu n he said dat he wanz 2 go bak 2 his paz lyf.Stuff he'd b doin b4 we gt 2 noe dem.He tol mi dat dey changed alot since we met dem n hez feelin bored cx he claimz dat he aint himself.U noe hw disappointed Im feelin rite nw?!E 6 of us orwaez hung out 2geder.Den Renni gt 2 bz wif her own tingz n cnt chil wif us.Den comez Amy.Hez hookd up wif work.Nw Shamil.He aint ard no more.Dunno where he is.Finalli,Penyu wanz 2 walk awae.God dammit!Here I m waitin 4 Amy cx I believe dat he'd cum bak 2 mi again.Nw I realise smthg.He aint goin 2.Ya I noe hez stil ma boi.Bt I juz cnt hold it 2geder animore!I've been tryin 2 tink positive bt I cnt animore.Im in ma worse state eva.I hafta b alone.Far awae frm ppl.I nid tym 2 realli put maself 2geder..
PS:Amy,I'm sooo sori.I don mean 2 giv up on us.I orwaez hope 4 e bez bt hopin aint enuf.We nid 2 work it out.It doesnt luk 2 gd 4 us.Guez we've reachd e end of e rainbow.I don wanna let go bt I hv 2.Im sooo sori.Plz don b angri @ mi.I tink itz e onli wae out 4 e bof of us.Don worie.I'll orwaez love u.I juz gotta walk awae.I hope 1 dae u'll undastan...

Don Walk Awae Frm Mi

2006-01-11T16:05:00.000+08:00

I juz woke up abt an hr ago.Nw itz 4:11pm.Slept late laz nite n cudnt wake up dis morn.E rain's makin mi stae in bed.Heh!Once again,e water in e shower is freezin.Anoder 1 of dhose daez dat I hate bathin.Stil had 2 force maself 2 bathe.Hahz!Don tink Im goin out 2dae.Wanna Save $.Firthermore,kakak has 2 stae hm 2 do her studiez.Her examz r nxt wk,I tink..
Im missin ma syg sooo badli!Wish he hadnt 2 work.@ leaz I get 2 c him anitym I wan.Heh!Dunno whether dis rltnshp is gonna work out.Seemz lyk itz dyin.Haiz!Im startin 2 hv a bad feelin abt dis rltnshp n it SUX!!Hez nv ard 4 mi cx hez 2 bz wif work.I undastan.E fact dat Im gettin 2 used 2 e fact dat he aint ard sux!It seemz lyk S if I don nid him animore.Bt S a matter of fact,I nid him ALOTTT!Im nt blamin him 4 workin.Actualli,I encourage him 2 work.Mayb I juz miz him 2 much datz y Im feelin dis wae.Honestli,I nv wanna giv up on us.Hez ma inspiration n hez e 1 hu makez mi luk 4ward 2 each comin dae.Hez evryting 2 mi.I hope he wun let mi dwn lyk ma paz boiz did.I hope hez here 2 stae.Even if isnt gonna stae,@ leaz stae 4 a lil wyl longer.Dherez stil so much in it 4 us in dis rltnshp.I hope hez willin 2 giv our rltnshp a chance.

CS Was Fun!

2006-01-11T03:58:00.000+08:00

Gd mornin evry1!Yeah u guezd it.I cnt slp.Check it out!itz 4:04 in e morn n Im bloggin oreadi.Heh!Wat 2 do.Aint gtnuttin betta 2 do marh.Lolz!..
Wel,yest nite,ma sis n I went 2 mit up wif Penyu @ Bedok Funland 2 plae CS.Damn fun sia!E whole tym we were playin CS_estate.Dint change e map.S usual,ma sis n I playd terrorists wyl Penyu playd Counter-Terrorist.We were shootin his sori ass dead.Hahz!He was losin!CS is e bez wae 2 let out ur anger seh!Serious.So sad ma syg wasnt ard.He went visitin his relatives @ sengkang n had 2 rush bak hm cx he dint get an off dae 2dae.I haven ben seein him 4 more den a wk oreadi.Miz him soooo much.Bt wat cn I do.I hafta undastan dat hez bz workin n dat I cn onli c him durin his weekly off daez.Guez I'll juz hafta b patient huh?Mayb dis is e bez wae of testin ma loyalty 2wardz him.I heard frm Penyu dat ma syg is gonna go 4 NS somwhere dis yr.Haiz!Imagine 3mthz of nt seein him!1 wk is oreadi bad enuf.3mthz?!OMG!!Im sure 2 miz him a whole lot.Wel,Im goin 2 bed nw.I'll blog again l8r dis aftanoon if dherez anitin intrestin 2 blog abt aite?Nitez!!

Slmt Ari Raye Haji!

2006-01-10T16:30:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raye Haji 2 all u peepz out dhere!heez!..
Stayd up all nite changin ma blogskin n stuffs.Heh!Wyl ma sis was on e fone.Wen ma dad woke up in e morn,I was stil on e com.Den he left hm 4 e mosque 4 prayerz.I continued hoggin e internet.Heh!Den @ ard 6+ in e morn,I fell aslp all e wae til 3pm.Aiyo!Wel,u cnt blame mi 4 it rite?It was rainin n itz so nice 2 snuggle up in bed.E water was freezin wen I went in 2 bathe.Ooo!Shiverin lyk hel sia!Ma dad aint @ hm.Tink he went ova 2 ma grannie's plc.I don intend 2 go dhere.Lazi la.Feel lyk stayin hm all dae.We don realli celebrate hari raya haji aniwae..
Haven heard frm Amy lateli.Dunno where he is or whether hez workin 2dae.I miz him soooo much!Wish he'd juz cal mi.Haiz!Alot has been happenin 2 our grp.We've gone thru so much.I hope tingz wil take a turn 4 e 6 of us.No more tearz n sadness.I miz all e laughter n smylz...

Finalli Changed Ma Blogskin!

2006-01-10T07:06:00.000+08:00

Im soo happi dat I've finalli changed ma blogskin.Bt stil nt satisfactory yet.Heh!

U Shld Let Mi Love You

2006-01-10T03:22:00.000+08:00

Finalli I Made A New IC!!

2006-01-10T03:08:00.000+08:00

It was rainin all aftanoon.Mummy woke mi up @ 1pm cx I had 2 go bathe.We were gonna make mi a new IC 2dae!FINALLI!!!I was freezin cold wen I gt out of e shower.Even tho wif a sweater on,I was shiverin.Izit winter in S'pore?I wish!Hahz!I was forcin ma eyez open.Slept onli @ 9 in e morn.Was on e fone wif Penyu all mornin.Stil feelin a lil sply.Yawnz!..
Ard 3pm,I gt drezd 2 go out wif Mama 2 go ICA.Kakak dint come along cx she ws feelin lazi.Furthermore,we were rushin 4 tym.Had 2 get dhere b4 e office closes.Wen we reachd dhere,it was a long queue outsyd e pic takin booth.Damn!I felt so embarrassed havin 2 take ma passport pic rite in front of evry1 in e queue.Wish e ground wud juz open n swallow mi in!Hahz!Ya2.I noe Im sik.Hahz!Den wen it was ma turn,e stupid lady kept askin mi 2 push up ma fringe so dat it wun cover ma eyebrowz.Aiyo!So troublesome,I tel u.Wen it was finalli ova,we went 2 get our ticket den we finalli applied 4 ma freakin IC.Yeeha!Finalli Im gettin ma IC!Im so happi!Afta all dat is done,Mama n I went straight 2 Parkway 2 hv lunch.Hmm..Or izit supposed 2 b dinner?Hahz!Aniwae,afta dat,we went shoppin a lil.Found a realli nice baby blu shell necklace @ Chamelon.It was so cheap n I HAD 2 get it.Den we went 2 Watsons.OMG!!Evryting is soo cheap dhere.Silkygirl cosmetics was @ 20% discount!Felt lyk buyin evryting dhere bt obviousli,I don hv e money.Heh!I bought e new eyeshadow pencil which was sellin @ onli $4.90.I hv ma eye on e pressd powder,tho.Mayb nxt tym wen I hv e $,I'll drop by Watsons again.Den @ ard 9+,we tuk e bus hm.It was real exhaustin bt fun dae 4 mi...

Anoder Typical Dae @ Hm

2006-01-09T01:44:00.000+08:00

I dint go aniwhere 2dae.Stayd @ hm all dae.Woke up xtremeli late dis aftanoon.I tink ard 4pm.Heh!Lazi bum la mi.Furthermore,it was rainin so heavily out dhere.Made mi stae in bed even longer.Afraid 2 get into e shower cx of e freezin cold water.Hahz!Den I went online 2 check ma frenster account.Went offline at ard 7:30pm cx I wanted 2 catch e documentary on e Geiko Girl on CNA.It was realli insightful n I was glued 2 e tv 4 1 whole hour..
Yesterdae ma syg called mi ard 3:06am usin his frenz hp.He was @ work.I was so happi 2 finalli hear his voice again!I tot he'd nv cal.Hahz!I askd him if he was stil angri @ mi abt e incident a few dae bak.He said he gt ova it oreadi.Im so glad 2 hear dat.Im lovin him more each dae.I hope we wil last long.Ya2.Im tokin lyk som childish freak rite nw.Bt itz realli ma wish 2 last long wif him.I love him alot!..
Wel,I've gt nuttin 2 sae animore.Kinda nt focusd rite nwcx Im on e fone.Heh!Mayb tml wen I wake up,I fill u guyz in again aite?SAYONARA!...

helloes baby doll..

2006-01-08T14:03:00.000+08:00

hey my babe.charm here.posting..finally got a blog ehs?hahas..i miss you like crazy can..bleahhs!so nice of you to invite me to contribute here..hope i can get to see you soon or bump you somewhere..lols!school started..orientation is great..lectures start tomorrow..bleahhs..oh wells..we had fun during orientation..what a fantastic way to keep in touch using blogging..hehs..see you soon..and takkaire..dont slack too much alrights..have you found a job yet?lols..smuackaes!

lovecharm<3

Ur Juz A Memory

2006-01-06T14:54:00.000+08:00

Feel lyk bloggin again.Gt nuttin 2 do..
Went thru som of ma old stuffs juz nw.Found a pic of ma ex,Firdaus.Lukin @ his face made i feel so sad all ova again.It was a pic of e 2 of us 2geder standin outsyd his 'kompang rm' @ Ang Mo Kio CC.Dat was e laz tym I eva met him (sobz).I stil rememba dat dae so clearli.It was a Fridae n I had 2 rush bak frm skl 2 get changed b4 takin a bus 2 Woodlands Interchange 2 fetch him 2 his kompang practice.He was on crutches.I stil rememba e excitement I felt wen I saw him limpin 2wardz mi.I immediately ran up 2 him 2 hug him n he kizd ma cheek.We were so happi 2geder bak den.Nv did I xpect dat it wud b our laz tym of seein each oder.Nevertheless,our rltnhshp continued on 4 anoder 4mthz til it finalli died off on 3 Dec 2005.He was MIA!I cudnt get in contact wif him.It continued on 4 2mthz.He dint call mi on our 5th n 6th mth anniversary lyk he used 2.Mayb he silent break wif mi bt I refused 2 believe it cx I loved him sooo much.I went on wif ma lyf S per normal,stil clingin on 2 e hope dat he'd cal mi 1 dae n we cn go bak 2 normal.Dat hope was e onli ting dat gav mi strength 2 continue wif ma lyf evrydae.Den 1 dae,I finalli realised dat dhere aint nuttin left in it 4 usno more.I finalli pluckd-up enuf courage 2 muv on witout him in ma lyf.Pics of him r e onli memoriez I hv of him.Nevertheless,I'll orwaez cherish e gd tymz dat we had 2geder.Im sure he has a reason 4 leavin mi juz lidat.Mayb somdae I'll cum 2 undastan.Til den,I wish him all e bez in wateva he does n mae he b happi wif hu eva he is wif rite nw...

A Broken Heart Continues 2 Beat

2006-01-06T12:29:00.001+08:00

Im stayin hm again 2dae,I tink.Home alone again.Haiz!..
Penyu called ma sis S usual yest nite n dey tokd on e fome 4 hours n hours.I cn c dat he realli lykz her.*winx*.Bt a certain part of mi is jealous cx laz tym,ma fone wud b ringin @ nite cx Amy wud b callin mi.Nw it aint ringin no more.Amy barely calz mi nowadaez.Added 2 e fact dat hez workin @ nite nw.2 make tingz worse,he lost his SIM card therefore,I cnt get in contact wif him.So sad.I miz him sooo much bt I don tink he misses mi a single bit.Hez 2 angri @ mi nw dat he doesnt even care dat I miz him alot.Mayb he doesnt even love mi no more!I dunno wat elz 2 sae or do 2 make it up 2 him.I noe dat it was ma fault bt Im tryin ma bez here 2 put tingz rite bt he juz doesnt wanna hear ma voice on e fone!Hw elz m I supposed 2 straighten tingz out wif him?I don tink hez gonna take off nxt wk cx he oreadi mizd work dis wk.Even if he getz an off dae,he wudnt b spendin it wif mi cx nxt wk is Hari Raya Haji oreadi.haiz!Guez I'll nv c him again huh?Wat m I 2 do nw?I cnt tink of ani oder waez 2 make it up 2 him bt 2 tok 2 him on e fone.Bt stil,it seemz impossible cx he'll juz hang up the min he hearz ma voice on e oder line.I guez dherez no wae 2 settle dis dispute between us.I gotta face factz.Our rltnshp IS dyin n dherez nuttin dat I cn do abt it.I'll juz hv 2 watch it go dwn e drain.Once again,I'll b left broken-hearted.So typical of mi.I orwaez end up screwin som rltnshp.It sux big tym!I hate e feelin of pain wen e rltnshp doesnt work out n e bez solution is 2 juz walk awae frm it.Bt no matter wat,I'll try ma bez 2 work tingz out between Amy n I.Even if e rltnshp failz,@ leaz I'll feel gd knowin dat I've tried ma veri bez 2 try n save it...

Wat Does It Take 4 U 2 4giv Mi?

2006-01-05T13:31:00.000+08:00

Im stayin hm 2dae.Aint gt no planz of goin out.Gettin bankrupt aniwae.Ma sis has juz left 4 skl,ma mum n dad had oreadi left 4 work earli dis mornin.Im @ hm alone again.Haiz!..
I cnt stop thinkin abt Amy.OMG!Im trippin cx of him!I promizd maself long ago dat I aint trippin ova any nigga no more.Bt luk @ mi nw.Dherez no stoppin maself.I dunno wat 2 do animore.I dunno hw 2 make it up 2 him wen he doesnt even wanna hear ma voice on e fone!Dherez no wae I cn save dis rltnshp.Itz breakin into pieces!Argh!Nt again!I've had enuf of failin rltnshpz!I noe dat Amy's pissd off wif mi.I undastan hw he feelz bt u tel mi..Hw in e world was I supposed 2 tel him dat I was goin out wen he aint gt no fone?!Bsydz,I was onli goin out wif Penyu,his own brudder!Cnt he even trust mi 4 dat?Hmph!Watz gonna happen nxt 2 dis rlntnshp is sooo predicted.Itz gonna b juz lyk ma rltnshp wif Firdaus.Itz gonna fade wif tym n mayb,Tuesday was e laz tym I'll eva c Amy.Nobodi's eva gonna undastan hw heartbroken Im feelin rite nw.Wish I cud put tingz rite bt I gotta face facts!It aint gonna b alrite.Mayb I juz gotta let go.Y cnt he giv our rltnshp a 2nd chance?Y cnt he juz 4giv mi?I've been a gd gal 4 him all dis wyl n dis is e firz silly mistake I've eva made!Y is he takin dis sooo hard on himself?I aint gettin ani of dis!Wat shld I do rite nw?Turn ma bak on dis rltnshp n let it burn?Or shld I kip holdin on 2 e hope dat he'd cal mi 1 fine dae wen he aint angri @ mi no more?Im sooo confused n messd up rite nw!God,help mi...

I Wanna Make Tingz Rite Between Us

2006-01-05T03:03:00.000+08:00

Yesterdae I went 2 mit Penyu @ Bedok Interchange cx we wanted 2 pik ma sis up frm skl 2geder.Wyl waitin 4 him,I saw Shamil walkin frm afar.I assumed dat Shamil was walkin wif Penyu bt 2 ma surprise,Amy(ma syg) was walkin wif Shamil.He gave mi dat fuckd-up luk n askd mi wat e hell was I doin dhere.E min he heard dat I was goin out wif Penyu,he juz turnd n walk awae.I was like "What e hell is e matter wif him?".Den wen Penyu arrived,I tol him evryting .Penyu received a msg frm Shamil,askin Penyu 2 cal him.Den on e fone,Penyu tol Amy dat I wanted 2 tok 2 him.Amy went lyk "Ah!Malas ah!".Den he hung up!Wat e fuck!Nw I noe dat hez fuckin pissd off wif mi.He doesn't even wanna tok 2 mi,his on gf!Dherez realli smthg botherin him den.@ nite,Penyu,ma sis n I went 2 Shamil's blk 2 mit him.Shamil tol mi dat Amy was upstairz.He mizd work cx he woke up late.Shamil oso tol mi dat Amy was pissd off wif mi cx I dint inform him dat I was goin out.Wait a min!Hw in e world was I supposed 2 inform Amy dat I was goin out wen I cudnt get in contact wif him?Datz crazee!I had no commentz.Amy was seriousli pissd off wif mi n I bet a million dollars dat he stil is.Itz less den a mth dat we r 2geder yet we r oreadi fightin lyk catz n dogz.Haiz!Watz gonna become of our rltnshp?I wonder whether we cn make it 2 our firz mth anniversary.If his anger persists,I don tink he'll mit up wif mi nxt wk or mayb,he wun even tok 2 mi animore.Shld I sae gdbye 2 dis rltnshp or shld I giv it a chance?Gosh!I totalli hv no idea!I DON WANNA BREAK UP!I LOVE AMY ALOT!!!

Memoirs of a Geisha...

WaT Do I Do 2 Make U Love Mi?

We Made It!!...

WatZ Changed...

Wat A Slut!!...

Xpressin e un-Xpressd...

Im Headin DwnTwn!...

Shoppin Spree!!

Im BaK!...

A Comebak...

Get Wel Soon,Black Diamond!!...

Ma Heart Bleedz Juz 4 U...

It Touchd Ma Heart...

Single Lyf ROX!!...

A Fresh New Start...

Where Do Broken Heartz Go?...

Juz A Plain Update...

Where's The LOVE?...

Wonderful Ting Calld 'LOVE'...

Plz Sae U Love Mi...

Notti Mi...

Clubbin Again Plz!!!...

Let Ur Hair Dwn!...

A Movie Again Nxt Tym??...

A Recent Update...

Lovin U Orwaez,Hubby!...

Nuttin Much...

A Wonderful Dae!!...

Juz Dat...

Happi Anniversary,Baby!!...

Juz A Fantasy...

A Whole Lot Of Fun...

If Onli I Knew...

If I Had One Wish...

Hmmm...

Datz All Dat Eva Was...

Dedicated 2 Ma Syg...

Nightmare's Ova!!...

Wun U Come Bak 2 Mi??...

All That I Eva Wanted...

Semoga Cinta Kita Abadi...

Is Dis The End?...

ANGER...

A Dae Wif Mixd Feelingz...

Finalli.. An Anniversary!!...

I Juz Don Fit In Animore...

Cn It Get Ani Crazier?...

I Hope Dis Wil Last 4eva...

Our Crazee Escapade...

Love Ma Honey Bunny!...

Am I Doin The Rite Ting?...

Wat A Blast Of A Tym!...

Hmmm...

Charmed Circle Broken...

Get Dis.. B-O-R-I-N-G!!!...

Woohoo!...

Kachiing!...

Life's A Drag...

Single Is Betta?Mayb...

Amy,Ma Immortal...

Fightin Isnt The Wae Out...

A Typical Dae Out...

I'm Stil Mi!...

Phew!Wat A Blast!...

The Pain Rips Ma Heart...

Juz Anoder Typical Dae...

The 2 Guyz Whom I Realli2 Love...

Confused...

*YAWNZ*...

The Hatred...

28.. The Lucki Number...

Hatin 1 & Lovin The Oder...

Sickness,Plz Go Awae!...

Ma Head's Spinnin...

Damn!I Soo Wanna Go!!

4eva In Ma Heart

Galz,Wake Up!

Where R U,Hafiz?

Galz Don Busted,Mind U!

It Was Fun

YAWNZ...